Dumb Dicks

The best thing about "Dumb Dicks" is the length. It is only 18 minutes of your life that you will never get back.

Rubin and Gribbon are so inept as the title characters, and so monumentally unfunny, that it makes you appreciate the true greats like Laurel & Hardy all the more.

The sequence where the 2 PDs pretend to be Turkish mystics is especially bad. As in 'could they be more stupid and offensive' bad. Who wrote the moronic dialogue they were spouting? About the only section that wasn't entirely excruciating was the opening sequence in the bank, partially because of the gun-play overkill, and partially due to a couple of interesting extras. It caused me to give this disaster an extra star.

Once the action leaves the bank...ugh.

Benny Rubin made a number of comedy shorts for RKO-Pathe in 1931, some of which are not listed on the IMDb. This short teams Rubin with the great former Sennett star Harry Gribbon. As a bank robbery with tons of machine gun fire is happening right next to them, the boys are sleeping in their car/office. Eventually, they trail the crooks and wind up posing as psychics. Rubin's non-stop verbal riffing and Gribbons' pained reaction shots are classic. The only flaw with this is that the last section of the film, in the house (and the attic of the house) where the crooks are hiding, goes on too long. Other than that, this is a worthwhile addition to the Benny Rubin filmography (see my reviews of his two previous sound features where he was teamed with Rex Lease: SUNNY SKIES and HOT CURVES). Rubin had a long career, both as an actor and a writer. He is well-known to Jack Benny fans for his appearances with Jack on both radio and TV, and he had supporting roles on TV and in movies until the 1970s. While he is best known as a Jewish-dialect comedian, he did many different dialects during his career. His RKO-Pathe shorts are worth searching out.

It's funny, but I saw two of the comedian(??) Benny Rubin's films today--and considering how obscure he is, this is strange. However, after seeing the films, I can clearly understand why he's unknown today--his films stank! "Dumb Dicks" was absolutely unfunny and stupid...and it was MUCH better than "Julius Sizzer"--his other film.

The film begins with a bank robbery. During this loud robbery, two idiot detectives sleep in their car--completely oblivious to the robbery. When they FINALLY realize it's happening, they arrive too late--and with guns drawn. Panic naturally ensues and the huge gun one of these morons starts firing on its own (this is supposed to be funny...it wasn't). However, after embarrassing themselves, they are determine to salvage their reputations and capture the crooks. However, considering that Rubin and his partner are unfunny cretins, I didn't care one way or the other---I just wanted the film to end and wondered why any studio made these dreadful films.

'Dumb Dicks' is as dire as its title. I wanted to see this comedy short (from the obscure RKO-Pathe stable) because I knew Benny Rubin, who worked consistently in showbiz from vaudeville into the 1970s, yet never attained stardom: this awful short movie is one of his few lead roles. (Lead? More like leaden.)

I've never found Harry Gribbon funny, and he has weakened at least one good comedy for me -- 'Show People' -- with his antics. Here, Rubin and Gribbon are detectives who snooze in their car outside the Lafayette National Bank during a very loud robbery. In the first two minutes of this movie, something like three hundred gunshots are fired ... all of them fortissimo.

All the gags in this movie are witless, but I'll decipher one gag which modern audiences would probably miss. While their car is parked outside the aforementioned savings institution, Rubin tells Gribbon that they need to get to the Lafayette National Bank. Gribbon looks round, sees where they are, and announces: 'Lafayette ... we're here already!' In 1931, American audiences would have recognised this line as a reference to "Lafayette, we are here" ... a patriotic catchphrase from the previous World War. However, I'd bet solid money that even audiences who 'got' this so-called joke back in 1931 didn't think it was funny.

In a couple of previous IMDb reviews, I've made unfavourable comments about Billy Franey, an untalented silent-film comedian. Franey played the title role in the unfunny 1921 film 'The Janitor'. Now here it is ten years later, and Billy Franey is still playing a janitor in 'Dumb Dicks'. He isn't funny here, either. I was hoping at least to hear his voice. Several silent-era comedians saw their careers die because their voices were unsuitable for talkies ... but Franey's career had long since peaked before talkies arrived.

Anyroad, it turns out that the leader of the robbery gang is a crimelord named Jabez, so Rubin and Gribbon go to Jabez's secret hideout (I guess it's listed in the Yellow Pages, under "Secret Hideouts"), and they ponce right in through the front door wearing ridiculous disguises.

The one and only thing I found intriguing about this dim movie (besides the fact that I'd known Benny Rubin personally) is that the chief villain Jabez is played by Ivan Linow. This huge burly Latvian immigrant was just beginning to develop an interesting career as a character actor at the end of the silent era, when his thick accent put paid to his chances. (And the talkies also revealed that he wasn't much of an actor.) In 1930, Linow gave a fine performance in 'The Unholy Three' (as one-third of that trio), then gave a bizarre performance in 'Just Imagine' as a gay Martian! Linow was so good in this role, he could have been typecast playing gay Martians. Sadly, that proved to be the peak of his career, and a few months later Linow was appearing in rubbish like 'Dumb Dicks'. Still, he gives the best performance in this movie.

My rating for 'Dumb Dicks': just one point out of 10. If you watch it on a VCR or DVD player, keep the volume turned well down during the opening sequence until the shooting stops.