Son of the Beach

Only cable TV could get away with this mayhem. Maybe someday the big old dinosaur networks might get close -- but not in the near future. For now, networks serve up assembly line Punch & Judy shows.

Every tired cliche of beach movies, police shows, crime dramas, soap operas, and sitcoms is crammed into this BAYWATCH satire. The puns roll in like breakers on the beach. Faces get mugged along with characters.

I love a delicious satire -- and that's what SON OF THE BEACH delivers. What other show dares give us memorable characters named Jamaica St. Croix, Kimberlee Clark, and B.J. Cummings -- plus studly neo-aryan Chip Rommel? And Notch Johnson is a cross between Frank Drebin and Bugs Bunny.

I commend the people who created this show. I wish all TV comedies were this sharp, crazy, and witty.

As you can tell from the other comments, this show is not for everyone. It's definitely not for kids or religious bluenoses. But if you like your humor with a highly irreverent and politically incorrect edge, this show is one of the best.

Yes, "Son of the Beach" is a "Baywatch" parody. But that doesn't do it justice. It's a Baywatch parody that mixes elements of "Police Squad!", "Get Smart", the 1960s "Batman" TV series and "South Park" with Timothy Stack's own brand of humor.

The show has its share of sight gags, but clever dialogue is its real strength. Almost every line is a sexual double entendre, tortured word play or horrendous pun. It helps that most of these fly right over the heads of the characters who, save one, are far too thick headed to catch on. The one exception is straight-laced, overly serious Kimberlee Clark (Kimberly Oja), whose embarassed frowns and double takes are always fun to watch.

The leader of the "SPF-30" lifeguard unit is Notch Johnson, played by chief writer Timothy Stack. A running gag is that everyone sees and treats Johnson as a perfect physical specimen even though Stack is middle aged, balding, has an overbite and is definitely not in the best possible physical condition. Stack gives himself most of the show's best lines.

All the other characters are humorously broad caricatures. Chip Rommel (Roland Kickinger, obviously cast for his close resemblance to a young Arnold Schwartzenegger) is a good-natured but brain-dead hunk who's surprised to learn that America and his native Germany had fought wars with each other. His incomplete command of English is always getting him into trouble, and he never knows why. (Example: he decides to help kids with attention deficit disorder. He calls his program "Chip Rommel's Concentration Camp").

Anita Massengil (Lisa Banes) is an evil, sadistic scheming politician in the Cruella DeVille mold. B. J. Cummings (Jaime Bergman) is a naive bimbo from the rural south. Jamaica St. Croix (Leila Arcieri) is a streetwise black from an urban ghetto. A late addition was Porcelain Bidet (Amy Weber), a bitchy, jealous, gold-digging bimbo.

All in all, if you are not easily offended and revel in outrageous, politically incorrect humor, you will love this show.

Tim Stack's the master of the suggestive double-entendre and now takes his act to the beach. A broad and sometimes smutty parody of Baywatch, SON OF THE BEACH is far more intelligent and fun, and with the hard bodies, to boot.

There's a bit of BEANY AND CECIL in here, too, in that many of the references might go over the heads of the intended audience. That's all to the good, since this is more than just the natural child of MARRIED WITH KIDS and Howard Stern, whose company is one of the producers. It's a breath of fresh air after endless and mindless cookie-cutter network sit-coms.

I just bought Volume 1 of the "Son of the Beach" DVDs, which contains the first 21 episodes, and I was quite impressed. I pretty much got what I expected: gorgeous women gratuitously roaming around in skimpy bathing suits and a nonstop barrage of cheap sex jokes. But since the show doesn't aspire to be any more than what it is, it works. I can't doubt that the double entendres get repetitive at times, but most of the time I can't help but laugh. Both Jaime Bergman and Leila Arcieri are extremely hot. Timothy Stack, who I've been a fan of since his talk show parody "Night Shift," is great at playing a dim-witted takeoff on David Hasselhoff's character in "Baywatch." His name is Notch, which is somewhat similar to Hasselhoff's character "Mitch." And since his last name's Johnson, that purposely opens up many opportunities for cheap sex jokes. I don't usually like dumb blonde characters, since they're way overused in movies and TV shows, but most of Bergman's airhead one-liners are quite funny. There are gratuitous montages which feature the beautiful female characters strutting their stuff wearing next to nothing, but in a show like this it's pretty much appropriate. Plus, it also works as a sendup of "Baywatch," a show that uses those montages very often, but still tries to pass itself off is tasteful. "Son of the Beach" is in the poorest of taste, and isn't afraid to show it. But if you buy the DVD set, don't watch all the shows consecutively, because like video games this stuff could rot your brain.

My score: 7 (out of 10)

If you were a fan of the "Police Squad" tv series and movies and of the 1960s tv show "Get Smart" and enjoy seeing gorgeous bikini-clad women then this is the show for you. The first product from Howard Stern Productions is downright hilarious. Even the character names are significant: "BJ" (received her nickname from her high school football team), Mayor "Massingale", (as in douche), the mayor's oh-so-gay adolescent son "Cody" (in honor of Cody Lee Gifford), and muscular German-exchange lifeguard "Chip Rommel" (I guess they couldn't call him Chip Hitler or Chip Goerring or Chip Eichmann).

As Stern himself describes it, this show is "cleverly stupid". This show is one that must be taped and watched with remote control in hand, because the dialogue's humor is often very subtle.

This show is very, very funny. And real easy on the eyes too.