Forgive and Forget

Don't expect to feel comfortable or be warmed by a Hollywood ending.

Do expect a well-acted fable about the dangers of falling in love with your best friend and how pursuing that love and destroy your friendship. 'How do you tell someone you love them?' 'Just tell them and hope they believe you.' The added closet homosexual existence of one of the friends, and relationship with his family, makes matters more complex.

You are pretty much left to make your own conclusions from the ending. I will be watching this movie again.

Also there are some novel south of the Thames (London) locations.

I ran out of good gay movies, so I decided to view this British one from 2000. Convincing acting across the board, but not a very plausible plot whereby two men, one straight and one gay, are friends from childhood. When the straight one finds a serious live-in girlfriend, the gay "mate", because he's secretly in love, hides a malevolent jealousy streak. He actively works to undo his straight friend's romantic relationship and pays the price in the end. At that point, nobody would envy the gay guy, as his life falls into a deep abyss. One can only hope he has learned some important lessons that can help him later.

Note: contains spoiler.... 'Forgive and Forget' is on balance, more forgettable than forgivable. Made for Scottish Television (and a boring, Scot version of a BBC drama) by a married female director from a screenplay by a hetero male film student and starring a hetero actor (get a clue here!), the story goes on interminably about how a working class Brit is hopelessly in the closet and jealous of his best mate's live-in girlfriend, whom he's out to undercut by exploiting her paranoia and dislike of his male camaraderie with her boyfriend. It's the British version of a Jerry Springer mentality in the working class subculture which leads, inexorably, to a disastrous coming out on a true-confessions-type TV show called (would you believe) 'Forgive and Forget.' What's sad is that our hero is so naive (and hopelessly inarticulate) that he thinks coming out to his romantic interest on TV will somehow produce a happy ending. No way, Jose. Hetero Sex Object wields a lead pipe and almost kills the guy before girlfriend, appearing miraculously just in time to stop him from murder, leads hetero heartthrob off stage (and, we imagine, to a 'happily ever after'). By this point, since she's already dumped him, she's almost a deus ex machina, and her appearance has no motivation except to save male heterosexuality from life imprisonment (where, no doubt, he would be forced to become some macho guy's 'sex object'). Sorry, but I really didn't like the 'film' (shot on video, no less), including the videography, which was brightly lit and boringly, competently uninteresting. Next time, I'll think twice about believing the hype (here's a clue: the video retailer--whose blurb rating the film I didn't question--is also the film's distributor) and give a movie the old eyeball before showing it to my friends. If you want a far better, and yet more gritty story of coming out in a British working class context, try 'Beautiful Thing'.

I would like to believe that there are more closet gays than gays who are open about their sexuality but I do not have the statistics to prove it. Whether you are open, or not, or about to open, this film will somehow touch you. I like this film so much that I can relate to it. The love story of straight-acting David that has been told so many times but presented in a realistic way is enough to catch my attention. A gay who is in love secretly with his best friend for so many years is nothing but ordinary plot because that is always the case when a straight-acting gay fall for a straight guy. I knew beforehand that the ending of the story would not be a happy one because normally in real life a straight guy would not return the affection of a gay even if that gay is his best friend for so many years. Oh yes! This is the truth! The ending of the love story of David is so credible that makes me watch this film again to remind me that this kind of love does exist, and once you came out of the closet, you are taking a big risk. The acting of David as portrayed by Steve John Shepherd is superb! No doubt, he is so convincing as a straight-acting gay. In fact, I fell for him after watching the film.

Neither pro nor anti gay, this powerful drama is set to make us think. A young man is secretly gay, he has loved his childhood 'mate' all his life but can never reveal his true feelings to anyone. His father is a bigot and the rest of his family are oblivious to his needs. His friend is equally unaware of the intensity of his feelings but eventually the truth is revealed under dramatic circumstances. Secret passions, deceitful relationships, bigotry and social pressures to conform, the paradox between between platonic love and sexual need; these are just some of the issues very skillfully handled in this unforgettable drama. The ending may frustrate or even disturb you - but Forgive and Forget will certainly leave you with the feeling that such sentiments are too seldom practiced in our modern selfish culture. Definitely worth seeing.