Forgive and Forget

This 2000 made for TV film is a sham for gay people. It promotes gay bashing, degrades coming out and gives homosexuals a dated persecuted life style. I could have sworn when I saw this trite work, it must have been done in 1960. For certainly gay issues deserve better than this dribble. The fault lies in the writing and directing. Mark Burt writes a trivial and lack-less script with absolutely no compassion for any of the major characters. Aisling Walsh, a woman, directs with no understanding of how to bring any hope to her leading players. She certainly has no understanding of gay life. If she herself is gay, than shame on her. If not, she needs to go to a gay bar or march in a gay pride day parade and surround herself with today's gay people.

The actors do what they can to give believability to this nonsense. Steve John Shepherd plays the young man tortured over his homosexuality. Afraid to come out to his best friend and to his parents. Why he chooses to do so in such a public way, beats me. But he does. I'll say no more as to the outcome and let you see for yourself. Believe me, you won't be surprised. John Simm, hardly, in my eyes, worth all the suffering, is the attraction to Shepherd as his best friend. Simm has his own demons to deal with. And again, you really don't care. He earns his oats. As the unsympathetic and sometimes just down right annoying girl-friend to Simm, Laura Fraser is a real possessive bitch (can I say that word?) A control freak, she deserves losing any guy who would put up with her antics and games. I was hoping she'd lose the guy in the end. Again, see what happens yourself. Again, no surprise.

Then there are the parents that contradict themselves all over the place. An overbearing dad, played by Maurice Roeves, knows nothing but anger and screams through most of the film. What's with this guy? Sometimes overacting, he suddenly has all this tear jerking at the end? And you don't believe it anyway. "Let him go", says he. I would have been gone from this dad a long time ago. And the mother, played by Ger Ryan, sits and bakes pies. Probes her son most of the time to see what's wrong and when she discovers the truth, over public TV, completely disowns him. She begs him to be honest and then slaps him in the face. Give me a break.

I liked Shepherd's work in this and wish he could have had a decent venue to work with. For he gave the most convincing performance. Simm was one level, Fraser was just awful as were the parents.

I give this dated movie a 2 star for Shepherd's performance attempt.

I would like to believe that there are more closet gays than gays who are open about their sexuality but I do not have the statistics to prove it. Whether you are open, or not, or about to open, this film will somehow touch you. I like this film so much that I can relate to it. The love story of straight-acting David that has been told so many times but presented in a realistic way is enough to catch my attention. A gay who is in love secretly with his best friend for so many years is nothing but ordinary plot because that is always the case when a straight-acting gay fall for a straight guy. I knew beforehand that the ending of the story would not be a happy one because normally in real life a straight guy would not return the affection of a gay even if that gay is his best friend for so many years. Oh yes! This is the truth! The ending of the love story of David is so credible that makes me watch this film again to remind me that this kind of love does exist, and once you came out of the closet, you are taking a big risk. The acting of David as portrayed by Steve John Shepherd is superb! No doubt, he is so convincing as a straight-acting gay. In fact, I fell for him after watching the film.

I'd like to defend this as a wonderful film, one of the best I've seen in 5 years or so. Other reviewers obviously have a different take on the film and I can respect those views but I'd suggest a different interpretation from the one they present:

The story revolves around David, a handsome and macho construction foreman who is in love (secretly) with his childhood best friend Theo. David has acclimated to casual sex on the side as long as his primary emotional bond with Theo is intact. When Theo becomes seriously involved with a woman David is in a crisis.

David O'Neil is a man who has reached the age of 23 without having had an adolescence. Like a lot of us gays he has hidden his true feelings until well past the era when there's something of a 'safety net' around him in the form of friends and older siblings who help most teens navigate treacherous the waters of love and the pain of rejection. David has the usual flaw which comes with growing up gay in a homophobic society. He's been prevented from gaining emotional maturity by expressing love for the person he loves when he's 14 or 16 years old. So he's making the sort of blunders which most people make when they are 16 years old, though unfortunately with adult consequences.

I think Aisling Walsh (director) and Mark Burt (writer) are highly sympathetic with David's plight and they understand him quite well. The film is unflinching in its treatment of its subject and certainly does not end with a rosy soft focus closure. We last see David bloody and rejected by most everyone, and yet smiling and saying, "This has been the best day of my life." That is the central theme of the film.

Steve John Shepherd gives a riveting wonderful performance as David. John Simm (as Theo) is one of the most effortlessly naturalistic actors I've seen, comparable to Russel Crowe in his early-90s Australian films. Acting does not get much better than this.

-Steve Robertson

With the amount of gay writers, directors and actors (openly out or not), it's remarkable that there exists something of a dearth of really high quality gay themed movies. While it may be too much to expect Hollywood to come to the fore, the independents too have been surprisingly poor in this area. European cinema has dealt with gay issues in a far more successful manner. Faced with this situation, gay movies are often over praised simply because they've been made rather than for their intrinsic qualities. "Sunday Bloody Sunday" made over 30 years still overshadows just about any other gay themed movie made since then.

While "Forgive and Forget" certainly does have much going for it, it remains not entirely successful. What it suffers from is a certain pandering simplicity that has been so rampant in British movies for too long; the worst of these (despite their commercial success being "Billy Elliot" and "Full Monty"). "Forgive and Forget" has scenes which teeter on the brink of this ultimately insulting approach of the depiction of complex emotional states. (In all fairness I should mention the winning coming out drama "Get Real" as an outstanding exception.)

What saves the film and really what makes it a worthwhile experience are the two central performances by Steve John Sheppard and John Simm. Both give fully convincing, committed portrayals, despite dialog which is at times less than credible. The force of their acting compels one empathize with predicament of these characters.

Despite the flaws, "Forgive and Forget" is a memorable movie , well worth making the effort to seek out.

Neither pro nor anti gay, this powerful drama is set to make us think. A young man is secretly gay, he has loved his childhood 'mate' all his life but can never reveal his true feelings to anyone. His father is a bigot and the rest of his family are oblivious to his needs. His friend is equally unaware of the intensity of his feelings but eventually the truth is revealed under dramatic circumstances. Secret passions, deceitful relationships, bigotry and social pressures to conform, the paradox between between platonic love and sexual need; these are just some of the issues very skillfully handled in this unforgettable drama. The ending may frustrate or even disturb you - but Forgive and Forget will certainly leave you with the feeling that such sentiments are too seldom practiced in our modern selfish culture. Definitely worth seeing.