Witchouse

Not to be confused with WITCHBOARD, this corny Full Moon Features Charles Band production has its usual charms, even if it's not up to the levels of PUPPET MASTER, TRANCERS, or OBLIVION. In the town of Dunwich, Massachusetts, a group of unsuspecting guests are invited to a party by a mysterious host who happens to be the descendent of a 300-year-old witch. From director David DeCoteau, a man who got his start directing gay porn and who now makes Hallmark Channel-style Christmas films (and sometimes Lifetime thrillers), you can guess the quality of filmmaking you're in for. It is far from the best Full Moon film, but it's hardly the worst and was apparently successful enough to spawn two sequels, which I haven't seen, WITCHHOUSE II: BLOOD COVEN and WITCHHOUSE 3: DEMON FIRE.

I was always a Full Moon's horror fan,but this film is a total waste of time.The characters are completely one-dimensional,there's absolutely no suspense-even the gore is absent!The cast is horrible-of course the girls are nice to look at.The special effects are really cheesy-the film is quite boring,but if you have enough time to kill...3 out of 10-watch "Re-Animator" or "Shadowzone" instead!

To have two sequels, this film must have been a success which surprised Fool Moon, and can only be due to its half-namesake, The Blair Witch Titanic.

To end this review, there is more fake thunder and lightning in this film than all other films combined in history. I underexaggerate, because one might have {lightning and thunder} to include a few real ones {thunder and lightning} too. But {thunder, lightning} this could cause anyone with epilepsy to be {lightning, then thunder} killed. If not cured. Or cause it in one without it {thunder and soon the lightning}. This alone makes it almost unwatchable and unhearable. I kill you not, this {thunder while lightning} {lightning and thunder} goes {thunder and lightning} on until {lightning and thunder} the very end. It is that much. It's always overhead {lightning and thunder then lightning too} too, because the {thunder} thunder almost comes before the lightning {lightning} every time. {No thunder. Thunder.} It is set in {thunder, before lightning} one house, until when they come outside. The End.

I did partly enjoy the guy who couldn't help taking off that guy in the original FrightNight, with his weird way of talking like he had a lighting and thunder rod on his head. And there is some Fullish Moon humour between humans, witch I laughed at. But by far the highlight is the eary metallic thunder and studio lightning which stole every scene, as if it would go dark otherwise or the film would run out. But it did not. Watch The Titanic Blair Witch Project inhomestead.

WITCHOUSE is a typical witch-seeks-revenge movie from Full Moon Pictures.

In this effort, an descendant of the witch in question invites the descendants of those who killed her to a party, where she intends to kill them off.

As anyone who has seen Full Moon movies knows, they are very much hit-and-miss. They have produced some real low-budget gems such as DEATHBED, BLEED and CASTLE FREAK. But there are also lesser works such as PUPPETMASTER or SKINNED ALIVE in their portfolio.

WITCHOUSE is one of the worst offerings I have seen from them. It is said to be a rip-off of NIGHT OF THE DEMONS. I have seen that movie myself. It is not much better but the comparisons are not far wrong.

Believe it or not, I actually saw the second sequel to WITCHOUSE, WITCHOUSE 3: DEMON FIRE beforehand. The sequel, whilst far from being great, is much better than the plodding waste of time that the original comprises of.

The individual scenes along with the dialogue are actually not that bad. It is the execution, particularly the acting, that is the major problem.

The worst actress of the lot is Ashley McKinney. Elizabeth should have been creepy and sinister. But Miss McKinney's portrayal was lifeless. The séance scene where Elizabeth tells the "guests" about Lilith just seemed to go on and on. She uttered every line in a very monotonous manner, without emotion or energy.

The villainess of the piece - Lilith - as depicted here is one of the most laughable creations I have seen. She is much more menacing in DEMON FIRE, where she has a COMPLETELY different appearance and is played by a different actress.

The protagonists are dull, uninteresting teenagers who are clearly played by actors well into their 20s. Brad and Maria are a sex-craved couple who do nothing but that. Scott was the "nerd" who did not seem the least bit scared of anything. Tony was an absolute moron. Janet was an annoying tomboy. Jack was an unlikely hero. And Jennifer was just plain dull.

The direction is flat and the special effects are lousy. I know this is a mega low-budget movie. But this is no excuse. DEMON FIRE does better on a budget that is stated on this site to be just $26,000. The latter movie includes a strobe lighting effect that is very effective.

The background music should have been ominous but instead just added to the dreary tone of the camera-work.

Oh, and if you're looking for nudity, you're certainly in the wrong place!

Overall, WITCHOUSE is an incredibly dull witch-seeks-revenge movie. I would advise people to skip this one. I don't know what WITCHOUSE 2 is like but WITCHOUSE 3: DEMON FIRE is certainly a better movie than the original. I would recommend the latter movie to fans of Full Moon or straight-to-DVD horror movies. I would advise others to check out a British movie called TERROR, directed by Norman J. Warren. This creepy, atmospheric and suspenseful movie demonstrates how a witch-seeking-revenge movie should be done!

A bunch of college students are invited to a creepy old mansion by their weird friend for a Halloween party, however she has summoned an ancient witch (who also happens to be family) to kill them all. Thankfully short routine horror film with poor F/X, lame one liners, little plot, and a lousy cast. Rated R; Sexual Situations, Violence, and Profanity.