Bullseye

Nothing in this game for 2 in the bed. You can win a speedboat or a sewing machine or for Bully's special prize - a speedboat for the land locked masses of northern Uk.

A tankard if you are lucky, filled with some arrows, pathetically useless. I could do better. In a show that is wetter than whatever the bbc, channel 4 or itv can do today in a bland world of the TV never ending series. That hits us with endless sequels.

There is no end to the sequels that appear on our screens, upsetting the scenes with adverts from our dreams, that haunt and distress, taking our minds off the mess that the world has become.

I always usually watched Bullseye when ITV screened it on Sunday tea times. It is certainly better than some of the rubbish that's on now.

Hosted by Jim Bowen, three teams, one a darts player and the other one who answered the questions competed and the one with the lowest score went out at round one. The same thing happened at round two and then we had the adverts. Part two of Bullseye started with a professional darts player coming on and throwing for charity and then the final team went on to the prize board. At the end of that round, what prizes they had won were either gambled for the final round and the star prize or took with them. If they opted to take the prizes with them, the second losing team would come on with the option of gambling the money they had won. If they lost the final round, they would loose everything, but if they won, they would win the star prize in addition to what was won earlier. Tony Green did the scoring and commentary. Every team taken away with them a set of darts each and bendy Bulleys, whatever happened.

Some of the star prizes in Bullseye were rather unusual. These included speedboats, caravans and motorbikes. More normal prizes included cars and holidays.

Jim Bowen became famous with some of his sayings on Bullseye: "Great, smashing, super" and "Keep out of the black and in the red, nothing in this game for two in a bed" being a couple of them.

I now watch old episodes of Bullseye regularly on Challenge, happy memories.

I confess that I used to like Bullseye and Jim Bowen. Jim was assisted by professional scorer, Tony Green. I used to laugh when Jim would say to the contestants, " Now listen very carefully to Tony". We would then wait for some pearl of wisdom from Tony but he would merely say. " Take your time"! The big test was whether or not the winning team would go for the star prize by attempting to get 101 in 6 darts with the ' Non dart player' throwing first. Most Non dart players ignored the obvious tactic of aiming the the middle of the left side of the board. You are bound to score at least 30 and with a bit of luck may hit the odd treble. At one time the team would risk everything to go for the star prize but after a few years they were allowed to keep the money they had won. Halfway through a professional darts player was invited to play for charity and score 301 with 9 darts and any score over 301 was doubled. The charity money was safe as Jim would say.

This is on of the best half hours you could spend in front of the telly. A fantastic darts based quiz captained 'Titanic style' by the legendary Jim Bowen with Tony Green as the reassuring rower on the lifeboats. Watching this in 2007 provides at least one laugh out loud moment per episode. Just yesterday I witnessed Bowen apologising to camera for a poor taste crack about giving one of the dart players a guidedog. Here is the secret to the show's success: the amateurish production values personified in Bowen. Marvel at his fifth rate stand up routine to 'warm up' the OAP studio audience. Witness Jim's clumsy attempts to direct contestants around and off the set as they couldn't afford a stage hand to do it. The average English speaker has a vocabulary of around 100,000 words - Bowen seems to have around 800. By the later series around 85% of what Bowen says is a catchphrase or stock response of some sort: Smashing, great, super...let's have a look at what you could have won...BFH...it'll take me 2 minutes to count this out...we have to say goodbye to...round of applause...'Faces' we'd like...I'm sure you'll wish them all the best....that's the gamble...pounds for points...the charity money- it's safe...non dart player to throw first...keep out of the black and in the red ,nothing for this game for 2 in a bed...listen to Tony... Even Tony got into the act with his mystical Indian mantra - "take your time" , but would then proceed to call out the score after every single dart, which anyone whose ever stood at the oche will tell you is incredibly distracting. Anyway, the format of the show: Three what Jim would amusingly always call "couples" despite them nearly always being mates from the pub.One dartplayer , one 'non dartplayer' After dying a death with his opening patter Jim would attempt some banter with them, usually with contestants with no personality/sense of humour. Firstly he'd try to enthuse about their invariably low wage unskilled jobs, then he'd throw in an few personal insults by the way of bad puns. If you were very tall or 'well built' Jim was sure to point it out for the amusement of the audience. Round one was them throwing darts at a special board in order to answer questions on topics such as 'Spelling', 'Affairs' 'Showbiz' and the rarely picked 'Books'. Any wrong answers would prompt an appearance by an animated 'Mooing' Bully. The questions were of the 'general knowledge' type with answers so obvious 20 years later they must have been lifted from the front page of that day's 'Sun'. Next, would be the 'traditonal matchplay' (or normal) dartboard. The teams would throw and whoever got the highest would answer a question to win that amount of money. The 2 lowest scoring teams would go out after 3 games of this with Jim pulling the prize money in a big wad of notes out of his pocket like a Northern Del Boy, and counting it out "during the break". A pro darts player would then throw 9 darts for charity, their score being doubled if they scored 301 or more. Strangely ,players you would see throwing a constant stream of 100s, 140s etc. at the Embassy World Championship would never do so well here - probably due to Tony calling every dart for the benefit of viewers who don't understand the layout of the dartboard. Next up , the immortal 'Bully's Prize Board', hitting the red sections of another adapted board to win up to 9 incredible prizes of the like of a decanter set, a pocket TV,a Walkman, a car power washer, a leather briefcase,a carriage clock, children's mountain bikes and 'Bully's Special Prize' for hitting the Bullseye - often a 'colour TV with remote control and teletext. As the players had to remember what numbers ,out of 1-8, represented the prizes they wanted to win,it was a "test of memory as well as skill" a mental feat which would have 'Krypton Factor' contestants trembling with fear. Finally, the couple could gamble the prizes and the money from earlier against a star prize hidden behind a curtain if they could throw 101 or more in 6 darts. If they'd "had a lovely day Jim" and declined it, the runners up would be given the chance, down to the 3rd placed couple. To be fair , this was quite difficult with the majority of couples failing. Probably due to the drumroll in the background and the fact that the only clever person the dart player knew was totally unable to hold, let alone throw a decent dart. The solution to the winning formula of: decent dart player + person with basic general knowledge who is also a reasonable dart player =... would have eluded Einstein.

The star prizes were also magnificent in their impracticality for two friends to win between them - they would presumably have to draw up a rota for the use of a car ,speedboat, caravan or most impractical of all - a three piece suite and dining table set. So there you go -that's 'Bullseye'. To paraphrase and update one of Bowen's great catchphrases for 2007: "Cheap freeview cable channels aren't cheap freeview cable channels without a bit of Bully!"

For years Jim Bowen hosted Bullseye, a gameshow where contestants would put their general knowledge and skills with the arrows to the test, generally to win a speedboat.

I love watching this show on Challenge TV, it's superior to pretty much every game show on the box now.

Who doesn't look seeing those prizes, imagine offering someone a toaster or a BBQ set these days?

Made back in a time when life was just better, Bullseye was a terrific gameshow, quite often amusing, always entertaining.

Jim Bowen was outstanding as the host, what a talented, charismatic man, loved Tony Green also, I loved watching the pair bantering with eachother.

It always used to make me chuckle, how many of these guys actually had space to accommodate a speedboat.

Please don't bring it back, you can only imagine what they'd do to it. There wouldn't be a pint in sight.

9/10.