- Amy Gray: [after being shouted out, Maxine rushes into the kitchen] Mom, are you OK?
- Maxine Gray: [trying not to laugh] Of course, but I am 65 years old, and my boyfriend's mother hates me
- Board Member: We're a little concerned that your director is a drug addict.
- Maxine Gray: No, my director is a former drug addict. I myself am a former high school student, and everyone here used to poop in your pants. What's your point?
- Maxine Gray: [Amy has been in bed with the flu for several days] Amy? I brought you some chicken soup. How do you feel?
- Amy Gray: Horrible. I've been seeing things. It's like being on acid.
- [notices the look on Maxine's face]
- Amy Gray: If I'd ever done acid.
- Maxine: By the way, I'm getting married a week from Saturday. I expect you to be there.
- Sean Potter: A week from Saturday? Maxine, why are you getting married a week from Saturday?
- Maxine: So I can have sex, Sean. Why else would anyone get married?
- Interior Decorator: Usually I'm so perceptive of people. Come on... what's changed?
- Maxine: Two weeks ago my fiancée died of a heart attack 48 hours before we were to be wed. Also, I've cut my hair.
- Maxine Gray: Never wear fire for a hat... I haven't any idea what it means. I read it in a bathroom stall once and it stuck with me.