The King's Guard

Hmmm, the cast first. Well, I am a big fan of red heads and Khrystyne Haje, who plays Roxanne, was the only reason I stuck with this sucker. She is as pretty now as she was back on the old American TV series "Head of the Class." The other female lead, Ashley Jones as the princess, was also a delight to watch, though no one would accuse her of being a great actress from watching this movie. Trevor St. John plays the captain assigned to guard the Princess and he acquits himself well enough. He reminds me a Cary Elwes, who was the lead in "The Princess Bride."

How in the world did Ron Perlman(from "Beauty and the Beast fame") and Eric Roberts get signed to this?? I suspect Mr. Roberts had some connection to the production beyond simply appearing in the film. The credits were revealing in that Roberts had his own driver, production assistant, costumer, and make-up artist, while the rest of the cast had to share a seperate team.

In fact, the blooper reel at the end was, in my opinion, also quite revealing in that almost all of the clips were of Roberts blowing lines. Almost none of the other cast were shown on the blooper real and I was left wondering whether Roberts was the only one unable to keep his lines straight or instead used his clout so that the rest of the cast just wasn't included. I wanted to see the three main female leads gaff it up a little but no luck.

The script took few chances, surrounding a paper-thin plot with all the standard fairy-fantasy tale cliches. One interesting twists was that one of the King's Guard was played with some flair by a black actor (name unknown) with light homosexual overtones. He kept complaining about his pink hat with a big pink plume and about his clothes getting dirty. There wasn't really any sexual innuendo involved but quite a bit of lifestyle innuendo. It was something I hadn't seen before in this type of movie and the actor did a fair job with the script he was given. An interesting diversion...

The sword-play and stunt work was pretty weak. I have a little experience with sword-play and I suspect what was shown in the movie was more a result of a limited practice schedule. I have seen much better sword handling in a variety of situations and I think the actors just needed more practice before shooting. Especially since with a movie, the editor can do a lot to make it seem more dramatic by good cutting from shot to shot.

And there were a lot of shots. The filmakers did take time to get a lot of angles in the film. Clearly there was effort to do a lot of conceptual layout work before committing anything to film. It's just that what they ended up with wasn't very special. The cinematography was one of the best aspects (relatively speaking) to the film. A lot of it was shot using natural sunlight and all the actors looked good in their costumes - another bright spot in the work. It was clear that this film was shot entirely in one physical location with a cheesy-looking "ruins" serving as the focal point of action. The credits gave a big kudos to such-in-such a ranch...

"The King's Guard" would make for nice family-friendly viewing for all ages but won't hold adults attention for any length of time. While there are plenty of deaths during the film there is no blood or gore of any kind so younger kids are safe with this one. Unless you are a fan of one of the cast members go rent Princess Bride.

This film is a wonderful send-up of several action films: you have the outnumbered soldiers from the "Alamo" and "Zulu"; The comedy pairings akin to "The Lady Vanishes", and the bawdy fun of "The Princess Bride."

Well, they had to make a period piece without expensive locations, crew, or even horses, that they couldn't obviously afford, and with some reasonably well known names, and that is what you get with this one. I couldn't stand more than 40 minutes of this. English accent was too pushed. I like Roberts, but he is not much on screen here. His top billing is more a marketing stunt. If I remember correctly, he is not even main villain. Ron is also an excellent actor, also wasted. The whole thing sinks... I will try to remember this film when I hear people badmouthing Kingdom of Heaven or Ridley Scott's Robin Hood. I love low-bud films, but not when they are so poor and uncreative.

Okay... I've seen high school students with handicams do better stuff than this. I don't know which was worse... Eric Roberts' awful, contrived character, the illogical love story between the two main characters, or the fact that they went and killed off Ron Perlman, who, as far as I could tell was the only one actually DOING any acting. I love swordfights, and these guys seem to have some good ability there... but even that seemed over-rehearsed and passionless. Character development is nonexistent. A previous reviewer commented that you can tell the people in the film were having fun... but it certainly didn't rub off on me. I was too busy trying to figure out the purpose for ever having made this film to start with.

Oh dear. What an unmitigated disaster. The script was rambling, the cast was bored, and the direction ... well, I can't say I noticed any. How two actors such as Eric Roberts and the tremendously talented Ron Perlman were cajoled into doing this tosh is beyond me. It's a shame the video cover depicted horses and the budget obviously didn't stretch to affording them - not an equine in the whole film.

Although I must say the costumes were delightful.

Oh, and the out-takes were a revelation.

Just fast-forward and watch the bloopers. Don't bother with the rest...