Ninja Fury

I contemplated for a while if I should give "Inferno Thunderbolt" a 1 or a 2 out of 10. At the end I decided on a 2, because there are at least a couple of action scenes in the final 10 minutes. Don't get me wrong, those are as terrible as the rest of the movie, but at least SOMETHING is finally happening to wake up the viewer from his slumber. Because for more than an hour, this supposed "action" movie has virtually NO action in it. The first bad sign comes early on, when the filmmakers can't even make a female mud wrestling match exciting! Of course I can tolerate a bad, cheap, incoherent, awfully dubbed movie if it is at least FUN, but "Inferno Thunderbolt" is not much fun. It is an ordeal that few people will be able to live through.

I rented this movie on VHS when I was a teenager during the ninja movie craze. All my credibility as a movie selector for my friends was ruined because I was literally fooled (like many) by a misleading cover and the clever recommendation of the guy who ran the VHS store. We have the classic Godfrey Ho movie with Richard Harrison, who deserved better luck in his acting career. The story is simple: there is an incoherent plot, fantastic chase sequences (real, dangerous), the use of a microcar that calls for laughter and a couple of moments that every teenager will remember. Despite this, it is a mediocre film that only holds up in the memory of those of us who are today lovers of z-movies and the bizarre. Recommended.

I have to say that this movie contains the best chase scene ever to be filmed in the history of mankind! When the main character, Mr. Harry Wong (no joke) gets into his tiny little car and is chased by ninjas wearing white rollerskates with big pink wheels.

If you manage to find this one, rent it! Just beware of the 2 absolutely random and gratuities sex scenes. They kinda pop outta nowhere.

All in all, it's your typical Kung Fu type movie out of Hong Kong, but with a bizarre and puzzling twist at the end. "Ninja Death!"

Watch out.

To put it simply, Ninja Thunderbolt is the best of the 'stolen jade horse insurance fraud is investigated by a man in a bubble car pursued by roller-skating ninjas' movies to come out of the Hong Kong based IFD Films stable in the mid 80s.

Richard Harrison, as he does so many times in Joseph Lai's productions, puts on a brave face as his scenes are once again spliced into a separate film where he interacts with characters he's blatantly never met. In this case Harrison plays cool headed cop Richard (Richard's contract with IFD films stipulated that he MUST always play a character called Richard or Gordon) who assists bubble car driving cop Harry Wong in solving a suspected insurance fraud. I say 'assists', but in reality Richard's assistance is limited to telephoning him a couple of times and showing Harry - who is really in the same room as Richard - screen shots of the rest of the cast in upcoming scenes …er, I mean Hong Kong Police intelligence photographs of suspects to the fraud.

But why waste time worrying about the plot – no one who made Ninja Thunderbolt did – when it contains some of the unintentionally funniest scenes ever committed to celluloid? Your sides barely have time to recover from one baffling action sequence before the next one takes you by the scruff of the neck and throws you head first into a vat of cheese. Only a master craftsman of the pedigree of Godfrey Ho would confuse the audience with a car chase involving two identical white Nissans, the tension cranked up just that little extra by running the film at Benny Hill chase speeds, or disorientate the viewer further with a ski-chase sequence (speeded up of course) shot from considerable distance (the other side of the valley) with seven or eight identically dressed skiers with their faces covered.

But what really makes this film worthwhile are the roller-skating ninjas. Yes, you read me correctly, roller-skating ninjas. It even has a small part for a young Jackie Chan, and I haven't even got time to describe the 'sizzling' shower love scene, the cardboard telephone booths, the cars that drive in two wheels without even bothering to resort to the movie formula of hitting the rear-side of another vehicle, the motorbikes whose tyres screech on grass verges, the drug dealer who produces joints from his mouth, the...well I could go on and on.

Basically, if you ever see a copy of this film in your local video store, or more likely in a bargain bin at your local market stall or car-boot sale, you could do much worse that get your hands on a copy. Your blood will forever be motivated by ninja spirit.

Godfrey Ho is probably the greatest trash or b-movie director, he is notorious for his ninja movies, Ninja Thunderbolt is probably the most notorious of his Ninja movies.

Usually, the "plot" on Godfrey Ho movies are confusing and sometimes he "recicles" parts of his older movies and add's them to his "new" movie (AKA: Cut and paste technique).

This time, Godfrey Ho tell us the story about the Ninja Golden Idol getting stolen. Inspector Wang gets involved in the "Ninja Empire" while investigating "regular" crimes.

Highlights of the film include: -a chase scene is put "on speed up", adding a comical effect - A sex scene (are you thinking that this is a kid's movie ?) - The Chase scene where a bunch of ninjas are chasing Detective Wang (while he is driving a "Bubble Car"). Recommended for who wants to get approached in the craptastic world of Godfrey Ho !