Feeders

I got this movie for 3$ on vhs in a Blockbuster while i was visiting my girlfriend in New Orleans. It looked like good cheesy B-grade movie. What I got when i finally watched it was a movie awful beyond words that seems to have been directed by a first grader. Everything about that movie is horrible, the lighting is too bright or dark in every scene, it features some of the ugliest people ever seen in a movie. If i looked anything remotely like John Polonia i'd shoot myself or shave that mustache.

The story is non-existant, the actors are more wooden than a log and those bad alien puppets made out of socks covered in green paint looked more like giant boogers. Well, there is one thing i enjoyed while watching this "movie", most of the time the audio was so bad i couldn't hear the dialogue so i was spared the brain numbing lines the actors were reading on cards. For a short movie (around 80 minutes) it seemed to be going on forever, it's the first movie that has the ability to slow down time.

1/10 It's a movie that proves it's possible to blow and suck at the same time.

I first discovered this truly amazing movie when my friend, Geraldo, came to me crying like a baby, but yet pausing between sobs to spit out, "This movie, it's, a gift from the heavens." But not till now, as I sit on the toilet, wondering what the jiminy craps it was that I just ate, did I understand just how deep Feeders touched me. From the tense, yet emotional opening scene involving character actor Gary LeBlanc's brilliant portrayal of the hopeless romantic Ranger Gordon, to the nail biting finale involving Broadway veteran Mark Polonia (who just recently wrapped up starring in the national tour of CATS as Rum Tum Tugger) and the amazing Jon McBride, the 1987 Acadamy Award winner for Best Actor as Locker Room Guy #24 in "The Running Man". This movie also has a strong supporting cast, like Grant McDoogle as Skip, the lovable, but aggressive swim coach who just can't seem to get past the fact that he hates the water or Pepe Johnson as Alien #12, who strangely resembled Rocky Alexander as Alien #42, but who cares, this movie was spectacular. A must see for all fans of such movies as "CRAP", "CRAP II: THE CRAPPIER", and "COMPLETE WASTE OF FILM". Don't miss this historical cinematic treasure, this film that will one day be called an epic, this film that us mere mortals know as "FEEDERS".

I heard that this movie, Feeders, was so bad that it had to be seen to be believed. I saw and now I believe. From the early Commodore Amiga computer graphics, to the stupid goofy looking alien creatures, this movie takes the grand prize in the crappy film category. No, I didn't forget about the cheesy acting, nor the fact that the background music blared loudly and drowned out much of the dialog. To sum it up, this movie really sucked.

Ohh, Feeders.

I've posted some other comments here, but for some reason (though I've referenced this film in them) I haven't come back to this little beauty.

Feeders.

It must have been 96 or so, because dates escape me in my age (and from all the gasoline-milk mixtures I've had over that time), and my sister and I saw this . . . apocryphal miracle in the new releases section of a more-than-common video rental chain. How could we not have rented it?

Feeders. How I miss thee.

It's been a while since I've seen this, so bear with me. Lemme see. Some Commodore 64 special effects, hastily scribbled onto the film strip, signal that aliens have arrived . . . with the noble intention of brutally eating everyone they come across . . . or to burst out of their bellies . .. or to use 'lasers' to raze the whole planet . . . or to impersonate one of the heroic characters . . . any one, or all of these may be their master plan. Since obviously a higher power spurred the creation of this film, who am I to question the intricacies of the plot, me a simple heathen?

My absolute favorite scene is the one with the fat truck driver (well, he might not drive a truck, but I do recall him being obese). This man gets mauled by a 'feeder', and is rescued by the 'heroes', who rush him to a 'doctor', where he 'dies'. I say 'dies' because, as the doctor ceremonially intones 'I'm sorry, this man is dead', and reverently pulls a sheet over his body, THE MAN IS STILL OBVIOUSLY BREATHING -- QUITE DEEPLY! YOU CAN SEE THE SHEET MOVE, PEOPLE!!! Oh, but maybe that's a signal that the alien inside of him is about to burst out, via the magic of uber-superimposed (uberimposed?) post-production editing. The wound, literally, does not overlay the body. It is uberimposed.

Feeders . . . the one. The only.

Two other points -- one being the blowtorching of a 'feeder', which must have been the final scene, seeing as though the feeder puppet is totally ruined, which must have made the special-effects whiz who made it cry like a baby for hours and hours, what, not being told ahead of time that his hand-crafted buddy would be cauterized in such a horrible manner. And the straight-out-of 'Night of the Living Dead' scene with the corpse at the top of the stairs . . . and I mean that as in 'This Scene was directly sheared from the reel of Night of The Living Dead and messily inserted into Feeders', straight-out-of Night of the Living Dead . . .

Feeders . . . where for art thou on DVD? For I would own thee, verily, in a fortnight.

I heard there's a sequel. Taking place during Christmas. But I'll be a Warlord of the Deep if I can't find it here. Or something.

In summary, I would like to say that this movie is apocalyptical; to be collegiate (if at all), I use that term in it's original Greek sense, meaning, rending of the veil. If you see this film, firstly consider yourself lucky. That also means you might have seen other beauties, such as Parts: The Clonus Horror, or Judgment Night, or Rana: The Secret of Shadow Lake, or some other, horrible poison that I haven't sampled yet. And two, realize that, having seen it, you can never go back to how it was before. Now your veil has been torn asunder, and the guttural truth of life pours through . . . Feeders will ruin you, like it did me, with the fact that there are movies like this, being made by people, for some reason or another, and that the only solace comes from either seeing more or drinking the ever popular milkoline.

Feeders. God how I miss you.

I am not sure how this movie even made it into the legitimate movie rental store I got it from. This is quite possibly brings the standards for amateurs to an all-time low. Grainy picture, acting that would have a middle-school drama teacher in tears, and "special-effects" that could be reproduced on a computer from the 80's. HOWEVER, this was also one of the funniest things I have ever seen, and I would recommend getting it if you get a kick out of terribly done movies.