3 Dev Adam

So here's an odd movie. Spider Man is a bad guy. And his mask is radically different. And he has these massive eyebrows--or maybe they were antenna? Anyhow, this has nothing to do with everybody's favorite webslinger. Technically, he is called Spider Man and kinda dresses like him, but instead uses the awesome powers of a switchblade to kill people and steal statues. Oh, and I think he can clone himself whenever he dies. Maybe. Didn't make much sense at the time.

Come to combat this villain are the awesome duo of Captain America and El Santo. For those of you not up on your lucha libre, El Santo is the most famous Mexican wrestler of all time, having starred in approximately 100 movies in his forty-year career. The silver-masked man revealed his identity only a month before he died and was laid to rest in his cloak and cowl. Anyhow, they're fighting Spider Man. At least Captain America (not an American by any means) is, since El Santo isn't in this too much. After a few rumbles, good is triumphant.

Worth a see? Definitely, if you like your cheese thick and incomprehensible (as detailed previously, there are no English dubbed or subtitled prints). It's no classic, but it is fun if you've got a wad of meat in each shoe (I never did understand that saying). Don't look too hard, but if you're in the back of a small, locally owned video store and this falls off a shelf onto your head, rent it.

I've heard a lot about this movie, and it's one of those you'd have to watch it to believe, cause what I'm about to describe sounds baffling for a movie like this to exist.

Spider Man who was known as a hero in America is portrayed as a villain in this movie. In a poorly designed costume with no eye pieces to cover his actual eyes. The one thing that makes this Spider-Man look unusual is his large eye lashes. I don't think Spider Man has ever been depicted that way in any comic from my knowledge. Anyways Spider Man is causing crime in Turkey so Captain America and Santos(yes as in the wrestler) came to Turkey to defeat him.

Not a lot to say about it other than it's unusual and low budget. Every the opening of the movie was low budget. The one thing I'd love to know is does Spider-Man have a good reputation in Turkey or is this how people see Spider Man in Turkey. I don't know that answer for sure. Cause I wonder if the Director or writer of this movie have anything against Spider-Man. No one knows for sure, so all I could do is speculate that the director and writer hated him so much they decided to make a movie to show every one in Turkey how horrible he is. But why's Captain America portray as good and not Spider Man. They're from the same comic company. While Santos was thrown in cause he's a big celebrity in the country of Turkey.

For die hard Spider-Man fans this is a laugh riot and to non fans of Spider-Man this is still funny to watch.

In the world of Turkish cinema, Spider-Man leads a gang of counterfeiter who use murders people with outboar dmotors, axes and man-eating guinea pigs. Santo is a secret agent who rarely wears his mask and puts things directly into his pants, pockets by damned. And Captain America doesn't have a shield, smokes and brings his girlfriend, Julia, along.

Just strap yourself in — 3 Giant Men is a ride into insanity, the kind of world that Sergeant Joe Friday worried about when kids in the 60's started doing LSD and jumping out of windows.

Istanbul! The Spider's Gang — led by Spider-Man — are taking over. They cut the head off of a woman with a boat propeller to start the movie off right.

The film then kicks into the craziest title sequence ever — they basically filmed a board of photographs, pulling out on image after image, with the type for each credit simply vinyl type on a board.

Julia, Captain America's girlfriend, is captured but is able to send a distress call to Cap, who rescues her but can't catch Spider-Man after a battle through a graveyard. Captain America is played by Aytekin Akkaya, who was Ali in Dünyayı Kurtaran Adam (better known as Turkish Star Wars) and Ukan in Yor, the Hunter from the Future.

I'd like to inform all of you right now that Spider-Man has the biggestt eyebrows you've ever seen. He can also die and come back to life with no lasting damage, for some reason. He also gets his men to drop off what I can only refer to as mini-tents near mafia bases, emerging from them to kill other gangs.

Meanwhile, Santo infiltrates a dojo known for counterfeiting. Santo's fight style is to basically no sellkicks to the face and do rolls and judo. So, you know, nothing at all like he real Santo. He also likes to look right at the camera whenever he is film. I could watch Santo fight karate men for hours and hours of my life. Santo gets captured, but escapes with the evidence. He and Cap raid a hideout while Spider-Man kills a woman in the shower.

Spidey calls out the dude who let Santo escape, punishing him by putting a tube over his head and letting two guinea pigs EAT HIS FACE. Sorry to scream, this movie this movie is just one shock after the other. Spidey tops it off by watching couple shower (!), killing them by stabbing them together ala Jason Vorhees to Jeff and Sandra in Friday the 13th Part 2 (!!) and then stealing a statue that has no importance toward the rest of the movie (!!!).

Yes. If you are keeping score, Spider-Man has two different shower based kill scenes in this movie. If you like your Peter Parker murderous, then this flick is for you. But wait what would make this movie better? If you answered watching Spider-Man have sex while surrounded by frightening puppets, then you are on the same wavelength as the insane people who made this movie. You should really speak to someone or be on one of this lists where you have to announce yourself to all of your neighbors when you move.

Santo and Captain America then battle Spider-Man again, where we find out that there are four Spideys, several of which die horribly. After some undercover work at a club — the same club we keep seeing with a girl in shadow spinning boob tassles — Spider-Man's goons kidnap our heroes. They fight one another, but it's all a clever ruse, as they kill almost all of the gang members, including Spider-Man's girlfriend (who is not Mary Jane Watson, Gwen Stacy, Felicia Hardy, Betty Brant, Carlie Cooper or Liz Allen).

There's a battle that doesn't stop until every Spider-Man is dead. Spideys get knocked off ladders, their necks broken and crushed by presses. It's an orgy of Spider destruction, highlighted by Captain America's trademark offense: one footed dropkicks , face slaps and punches to the belly.

But just as Cap is about to leave town, he sees one more Spidey. However, it's just a kid in a mask.

I don't know if it's possible to love a movie as much as I love 3 Giant Men. Today's superhero movies fail to capture the majesty of this film. It answers the big questions, the ones no one had the guts to ask or care about. Cap punching Spider in the breadbasket? It's in there. Santo powerbombing goons and then putting them into submission holds in a nightclub? Yes. Wacky asides with comical music? Yes. A Cap that smokes and wears a leisure suit? Evet.

3 Giant Men comes in at 78 minutes of what I can only imagine being in a coma and pumped full of iowaska would feel like. Everyone knows all about Japanese Spider-Man Takuya Yamashiro (they do, right?), but laughing, killing, giant eyebrow having Turkish Spider-Man? He is the greatest villain ever in the best superhero movie ever made.

It's your unfriendly neighbourhood Spiderman! But he's green! And he's in Turkey! And he's ripped a hole in his mask so you can see his bushy eyebrows! And he can't shoot webs anymore! Or climb up walls! Peter Parker must have been bitten by ANOTHER radioactive spider or something, presumably while on holiday in Turkey, because suddenly he's EVIL and likes nothing better than chopping people up with a knife, skewering them in the shower, and, especially, doing lame ass kung-fu on them.

You know this film is going to be amazing when - BEFORE THE OPENING CREDITS - Spidey buries a girl up to her neck on the beach, then gets two blokes in a boat to reverse the outboard motor blades into her face. Seems the cops were right all along to be suspicious of that ol' web-slinger. Then those opening credits -- photographs (like actual paper photographs) taken on the set have been stuck on a wall next to fridge-magnet letters spelling out the title, and the camera zooms away from them very quickly...this passes for special effects in 70s Turkish cinema. The theme tune has exactly the same melody as "Diamonds Are Forever". There is no Turkish word for "copyright violation" - as if the psycho slasher Spiderman wasn't proof of that already.

As if that wasn't enough, wait -- Evil Spidey is terrorizing Istanbul, so who's the best person to call to deal with the problem? Captain America of course! (well it makes more sense than trusting in the hapless raincoated detective who gets sliced up by Spiderman - who then looks into the camera and says "ho ho ho ho ho. Adios!") Oh, and also Santo, the masked Mexican wrestler. Santo is a trifle fatter than his Mexican version, but at least his blank face mask can be replicated easily - Captain America is a tougher task for the costume designer (who, looking at the costumes, is almost certainly the director's mum). He has the "A" on his head, but he has no shield -- then again, Spidey has no webs, so that evens things out.

You have to see this movie. If necessary, go to Turkey to see it. Even better than the notorious Turkish remake of "Star Wars", and a 500% improvement on the recent Hollywood Spiderman. Did Spidey gruesomely murder a lovemaking couple in that movie? Well exactly.

This funky Turkish interpretation of graphic novel lore has Spider-Man as an ultra mean bad guy running a gang of thugs in Istanbul on the wrong side of town. He has none of his Spider powers, which I guess is why he is so angry, but makes up for some of it via his ruthlessness and a peculiar ability to come from the dead - multiple times.

In fact Spider-Man while noticeably less agile looks as though he has let himself go a bit and is a tad flabby (What we in Canada refer to as "Molson Muscle"). His costume has some noticeable signs of wear and tear as well and his bushy eyebrows peak out of eye slits in his mask.

Could it be that the makers of this film got their accounts of Spider-Man's exploits only from the slanderous accounts provided by that yellow journalism scandal-sheet the Daily Bugle? If they read the comics they would know that Spider-Man/Peter Parker would never use his powers for evil. What would his Aunt May think of him? Worse what would the spirit of his Uncle Ben think? Clearly this baddie is just some dude who ordered an ill-fitting, cheap imitation Spider-Man costume and couldn't get his money back.

A rather improbable team up of Captain America (Akkaya) and Santo (Selekman) the wrestler/superhero track the Spider Gang to Turkey after Spider-Man's counterfeiting scheme in Mexico leaves a trail of angry people on both sides of the law. Cap's famous shield evidently didn't clear Turkish customs as we don't see it. But his girlfriend Julia came with him to help.

This film is so spectacularly wrong on so many levels as to show the value of copyright protection as preservation of artistic integrity more than proper assignment of royalties. Turkey, then under the control of a military junta in a chaotic struggle with terrorist groups and engaged in a brutal suppression of leftist elements offered no such copyright protection to products of comic book heroism or Western entertainment.

Like the Turkish version of Star Wars and Star Trek the staging of a rip-off like this utterly defies logic. Why not just dub or subtitle the Spider-Man cartoon and Santo movies into Turkish? Or better yet why just make a completely original set of characters with Turkish identities?

There is low-grade production value and then there is no-grade production value. What is shown here is beyond what Hollywood producers would deem incredibly cheap though the cast soldiers on even with the various continuity errors and other goofs.

It doesn't look like they were given a safe working environment to shoot under but really what does that even mean when the Turkish government was rounding up people - very much including artists and locking them up for even being suspected of having leftist sympathies?

In one scene where Captain America rescues Julia from the baddies at the Spider gang's safe-house we see a pretty silly action sequence. Hanging from conveniently placed acrobat rings, Cap attempts to heel-kick one of the baddies behind him but the stunt guys must have messed up the timing because he misses. The thug falls anyway and from the angle of the shot it looks as though the villainous henchman has been knocked unconscious by a devastating, explosive fart to the face from the hero.

Captain America's subsequent fight with Spider-Man betrays the fact that Cap is, for whatever reason, a lot more acrobatic than Spidey. El Santo is, by contrast to Spider-Man in considerably better shape than we have seen him and unlike the real Santo, generally goes unmasked. Santo in the Mexican movies he was hero of was never seen in public without his mask.

The comedic possibilities offered in Santo's time on screen are rife as he infiltrates a dogo serving as a front for the Spider Gang, discovers incriminating papers in a back office and stuffs them in his tights in a manner which looks as though he has done it to make his crotch bulge look bigger.

Unintentional humor throughout offers countless openings for snide one-liners and sarcasm. But no one needs to say anything as this Turkish rip-off lampoons itself so perfectly.