Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things

Ordering movies by odd titles has always been a thing with me. Imagine my surprise when I got this one in the mail! You're never really sure at the beginning if Abe Zwick is supposed to be a man or woman. Then when he answers the phone at his house he says in a soft, feminine voice, "hello?" He repeats it once more. Then his face contorts into a frown and in a deep, bass voice says, "STANLEY!" (Stanley being his boyfriend who always ends up hooking up with women, even though he's gay). That scene sets the tone for the film and it's the two leads, Paul and Stanley who set the energetic tone of the film. This is a must see for any lover of bad films. On an interesting side note, Paul (played by Abe Zwick) looks a lot like a young Andy Kaufman.

Going by the date, poster and title, I had assumed that Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things would be a dark comedy/horror in the same vein as What's the Matter with Helen? (1971) and Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? (1972). I couldn't have been more wrong: what we actually have here is an independent '70s exploitation oddity that is hard to pigeon-hole because of its sheer lunacy. All I can say is that it is a one of a kind movie - and that's probably a good thing, 'cos I wouldn't want to stumble upon another like it.

Abe Zwick and Wayne Crawford star as escaped criminals Paul and Stanley, who have gone into hiding in Miami, Paul dressing in drag to pose as 'Aunt Martha' while youngster Stanley pretends to be Martha's nephew. As Paul looks after the house (he really does enjoy being Martha!), Stanley gets high on dope and attracts the attention of all the pretty girls in the neighbourhood, who want to get into his flared snakeskin pants. Stanley freaks out whenever the girls go for his groin, and pushes them away, but this still doesn't stop Paul from becoming jealous (it is implied that he and Stanley are lovers) and, in a frenzy of bad editing, getting all stabby with his kitchen knife.

When Stanley invites junkie Hubert (Don Craig) to stay for a while, Paul becomes even more twitchy, untrusting of his new house guest; and rightly so, for Hubert is on the hunt for the stash of stolen jewellery that Paul has hidden in the fireplace.

The sole directorial credit for Thomas Casey - and it's not hard to see why - Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things is a cheap, poorly directed, shoddily compiled and badly acted piece of hippie trash that can only be of interest to those who actively seek out obscure cinematic garbage of the most inept kind, or those who took part in its creation.

2/10 for the gratuitous nudity from several groovy young ladies, and that's being generous.

The most dreadful thing Aunt Martha does is bring you this film.

There is only one redeeming object in the entire show. Nestled within the story is a modest seed of a story concept - one I may use for a story I have in mind. Crooks on the run from the law take to lying low in a Motel. While there, one of them dresses as a woman, Aunt Martha, so he can move about freely to assess the situation and keep tabs on the cops.

The concept offers lots of possibilities. Using a few of the options would enhance both story and film a hundredfold. Unfortunately, what writer and director Thomas Casey gives us is pure tedium. The story is lazily written and underdeveloped. It's a hodgepodge of a tale about a psychopath and his partner in crime and... sex. The progression and motives for the murders are clear, although most are unrealistic. And Casey presents them to us in a mundane matter-of-fact manner.

The lack of substance doesn't end with Paul or Martha's characterisations. It bleeds through to the story. There's not enough in this film to keep your attention on the screen. I found myself constantly looking away, and I even turned on the dreaded laptop - the killer of all focus.

Casey is worse at directing than writing; there was little hope for this flick. He takes a point-and-shoot stance to the filming and has little to no consideration for the pace of the film. The end product is little more than a straight-forward and often uninteresting rendition of an awful story.

At least the actor who played Paul's partner, Stanley, appears to have had a joyous time. Wayne Crawford isn't a marvellous actor, but he instils Stanley with an impish temperament. It lifts the direness of the movie, but not enough.

I would suggest steering well clear of this turkey - even at Thanksgiving. Though if a copy creeps up on you, then do the world a favour and bury it in a deep hole under the patio in your garden. Or slip it quietly through a horrid neighbours letterbox.

Ratings: Story 0.75 : Direction 0.5 : Pace 0.5 : Acting 1 : Enjoyment 0.5 Total 3.25 out of 10.

Now click on through to my Chiller Thriller Killers list to see where the turkey and Aunt Martha charted... but better yet, to find something better for your viewing pleasure.

Take Care and Stay Well.

Very strange, and quite funny little movie about a gay couple hiding out, one of them wanted for murder, which the other one is responsible for. One is a coke snorting hippie, the other one a Psycho killer in drag, mayhem and b.movie weirdness follows. Give it a chance if you like obscure 70´ movies.

A 70's B-movie about a transvestite from Baltimore, who's on the run from the law??? Sounds good to me. Actually, Aunt Martha (Paul) is only wearing the female garb, as a disguise. It's not like he's really into it, or anything... Alright, fine, maybe a little. Aunt Ma-I mean Paul pretends to be the possessive aunt of his partner-in-crime (Stanley), but when nobody's around, he drops the "aunt" but flat-out refuses to drop possessiveness. So, it's pretty obvious this high-strung fellow has a few problems. Or maybe they're just boyfriends, I'm not sure.maybe Paul just thinks they are, or maybe Stanley just isn't a very good one. Stanley is a bit of a rascal. Always rebelling against his "partner"-in-crime/pseudo-aunt, who's either screaming at him about smoking weed, or chasing him around with scissors, since he refuses to get a hair cut. Seeing Paul get so worked up amuses Stanley to no end, which is what makes this movie so entertaining. Well, that and all the murders. Not exactly an epic, but terribly over-looked, considering this movie is apart of the Florida Exploitation boom of the 60's and early 70's, which gave us such inept gold as Blood Freak and Two Thousand Maniacs. Yet another potential classic still not released on DVD. I would think Something Weird Video would have stepped up long before now. It would just seem right. Perhaps Subversive is interested. Anyone who digs Herschell Gordon Lewis Exploitation from the 60's and John Waters trash from the 70's seriously needs to see this. Not that there's any gore or anything really, really disgusting involved. I guess you'll just have to settle for odd and hilarious, which totally beats boring and dull any day of the week. Anyone itching for some obscure/vintage cult cinema will be more than satisfied with Aunt Martha. And that, B-movie fans, is a guarantee. 8/10