Mad Cows

I should say that I am a huge fan of both Joanna Lumley and Anna Friel, however I didn't hold out much hope for this when I bought it. As a bloke I was wondering if it would really suit me and the title's a bit dubious (in my humble opinion).

However, this is a lighthearted film that manages not to be trivial, and what other reviewers have complained about as its "pop video" style I found funny and refreshing (although it did take me a while to realise what was going on). I will certainly be on the look out for other work by Suggarman.

Worth 87 minutes of anyone's time in my book.

This is a great film, with lots of funny and moving moments. The production values are high considering it was so low budget and I would highly recommend it on video if you didn't catch it at the cinema......

A couple of weeks ago I had a get together with a bunch of Matt Johnson ( Aka The The ) fans down in London and a couple of people I'd met there , namely Duncan and Ange , had like me attended film school . As in these type of situations the topic of conversation soon got round to lamenting the demise of the British film industry . It may sound bitter but we all agreed that the reason was because the industry in this country is crippled by nepotism with people getting their movies financed simply because they know the right people , not because they have any obvious talent

MAD COWS is a case in point . Apparently it's based on a novel by Australian Kathy Lette which probably explains how her husband Geoffry Robertson managed to get a walk on part in this movie . Robertson isn't a professional actor which means a member of Equity has been deprived of an income . Actually at least one other actor has also been deprived since Mohamed Al Fayed the owner of Harrods also appears in a walk on part . As for the actors who have paid their dues to Equity I wasn't impressed . Anna Friel spends the movie with an entirely unconvincing Aussie accent while Joanna Lumley is abysmal since she recreates her role as Patsy Stone from ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS

The supporting cast I will reserve judgement on because I've a feeling that the director Sara Sugarman is more to blame than the actors themselves . A case in point is an interrogation by a detective who has arrested the heroine for stealing a packet of frozen peas ( A pathetic plot twist ? Glad you agree with me ) and my gut instinct is that the scene was hopelessly unfunny to begin with but instead of the director beating the screenwriter to death with a limp script Ms Sugarman has told the actor in question to put on a funny speech impediment and other clown mannerisms . No doubt the cast have nothing but kind words about working with Sara Sugerman but you don't make a movie to enjoy yourself - You make a movie to let the audience enjoy themself and there's no enjoyment here as we have to endure silly performances , MTV style direction in a very plot less and episodic story that is a kick in the guts to anyone who has struggled to make it in the movie business in this country

But at least MAD COWS proves once and for all that it's not what you know in the British movie industry - It's who you know

...no really they did - not just because this film was so awful, but you simply never know! To take some of the UK's finest character actors, take one of the funniest antidotes to 'chick-lit shopping novels' I've ever read to produce this steaming pile of 'god-awfulness' beggars belief. Okay, so casting 'talent Dyson' Anna Friel wasn't the greatest idea ever but Joanna Lumley and Greg Wise couldn't even carry it on their (absolutely!) fabulous shoulders. These types of movie are one of the reasons that the UK film industry is still flagging ('cough...nepotism...ahem). The director tried some bold moves and techniques but poor Anna just wasn't worthy of them. My partner still hasn't forgiven me for taking him to this, do you know how many Arnie / Bruce / zombie films I had to (uncomplainingly) sit through as penance? The book is outstanding, her best ever, if you are thinking of renting this movie I urge you to buy a book instead - and if you're not a big reader then you could stick pins in your legs as you watch it, it may help you stay awake.

I have read just about all of Kathy Lette's books, they are fabulous. This movie however, was just a total waste of time, I couldn't possibly say anything good about it. All I can say is, I am pleased that I didn't bother seeing it at the cinema.