Le vaisseau de l'enfer

One word - corny. Everything in this movie was corny. The bad guys were cornily bad, spouting evil threats and shooting their minions on a whim (why would anybody work for an evil dictator?). The good guys were corny, stopping to kiss even as their shuttle is crashing or the world is ending. The script was super-corny, but I think they were trying for that effect.

However, the movie worked for me. It was not a memorable movie, but it was fun to watch. The acting was OK, even though they were playing stock characters and had dumb lines to say. The plot and science were preposterous, but they aren't the point of the movie. The action sequences were OK, and there are some genuinely funny parts, intentional and otherwise. You just have to expect a campy low-budget sci-fi movie, and if you go into it with low expectations, you'll be OK.

What makes a bad movie. Well a bad movie is unoriginal and clichéd, with a cheesy score, bad script, bad acting, garbage special effects and, possibly the worst crime of all, it's boring. Dead Fire is all of those things. This is possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. It's not a movie most people have heard of which is pretty sad seeing as they play it quite a bit on the SPACE channel in Canada, i don't know about the states (well I think this is because in Canada broadcasters are required to have a certain percentage of Canadian content but there is better Canadian stuff than this, so don't watch this and judge Canadian movies). So full of clichés and overacting and very bad action sequences. Whats with all the screaming burring the shooting, don't they not want them to know where they are? And half the time the people look like they have no idea how to handle a gun. I HATE IT WHEN THEY DON'T TRAIN THE ACTORS TO DO WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO. BLARG!!!! Just don't watch this, it is just that bad.

"Come on, we have places to go and people to kill", the villain says once. A bad guy has got to do what a bad guy has got to do. The movie would have been better if it didn't have a simple good vs bad situation, but maybe scientists with different theories on how to save the world and we wouldn't know who's right. Regrettably, "Dead Fire" has no shades of gray, it gives us a very simple plot a la Seagal's "Under Siege": bad guys take command over a space station, but overlook one guy who was in the Cryo Section. He gets a gun and hunts down the enemies one by one. Yawn? Not quite, it actually was fast enough to keep me awake.

Effects weren't bad, except that the falling d-o-w-n scene in the elevator shaft looked silly. Lots of audible explosions in airless space as usual, and you needn't be a scientist to find loads of rubbish, from the deeply frozen people you can wake up within a minute to the guy who screams and waves for 10 seconds in outer space without a suit. Why can't they ever get a few technical facts right? The cast: Colin Cunningham (went on to "Stargate") plays the hero, Monika Schnarre is his charming girlfriend. Matt Frewer must have watched Marlon Brando too often, he tries to play the villain in a rather exotic style that is bewildering sometimes, the director should have slowed him down a bit. C Thomas Howell as Tucker is good fun - after Tucker is unfrozen, he becomes the wrong man in the wrong place, but at the right time. Rachel Hayward and Lucie Zednícková play the bad girls perfectly and make the whole story more interesting. In the end, I didn't regret I watched "Dead Fire", but it's not like I feel the need to recommend it.

Whoo-ee! That sound you hear is the careers of C. Thomas Howell and Matt Frewer burning up on re-entry just before they smack into the ground. I hate to be a jerk, because I loved Frewer in Max Headroom, but this movie was a pile of cack. Even as a fan of cornball b-grade sci-fi flicks, I was appalled (when I was awake). Nonsensical plot twists, vein-popping overacting, and a convoluted script all add up to a big stinking plate full of 'who cares?' all around. This one's not even worth renting on cheap night -- pick up 'Cube' instead, or you may be permanently soured on all things celluloidal and Canadian.

If you enjoy B-movie action and sci-fi flicks, this one is not bad. It's got some decent villains, and it certainly doesn't take itself too seriously. Importantly, I was not distracted by any overtly ridiculous plot-lines (other than our hero spending two or three screen minutes under supposedly deathly cold water).

This review is principally provided to spotlight a tidy performance by the heretofore unknown Rachel Hayward, as Col. Alexa M. Stant. She plays the role of a colonel with an agenda with suitable campiness, and just the right edge. She was by far the most watchable character on-screen. She managed with aplomb the caraciture role of the sexy villain who simmered and barked most of the film, with occasional emotional swings. Without question, she was the most charismatic female in the film.

With Hayward's entertaining performance, and other over-the-top campiness by C. Thomas Howell, it's an enjoyable romp--presupposing, of course, an appreciation for B-movies and not over-thinking the movie.