- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Hello, Dudley.
- Dudley Do-Right: Hello, Walter.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: I've lost everything. Even the Announcer's gone.
- Voice of the Announcer: No, I'm still here!
- [pause]
- Voice of the Announcer: Someone has to explain how the cavalry came...
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [referring to the letters 'D.D.' being shot into the wall with bullets] Do you have any idea what this could possibly mean?
- Lavar: Doris Day. Just a guess.
- Shane: [thinks long and hard] Dom Deluise.
- Kenneth: Daniel Day-Lewis.
- In the Way Back: Snoop Doggy Dogg.
- Another Bad Guy: Daphne du Maurier.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Oh, shut up.
- In The Back: Doc Duvalier.
- Lefty: David Duchovny?
- In The Back: Delores Del Rio.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shut up, you idiots.
- Kenneth: Dan Rather.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: These initials could only mean one thing: Dudley Do-Right.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [after boulders come rolling down the hill at them] That's not fair! They've got rocks! All we've got are these machine guns. Oh, mother of pearl, here comes another one.
- Howard: Well, here's the money, but where's the gold?
- Kenneth: Whiplash took it.
- Barry: Where is Whiplash?
- Howard: He's gotta be here somewhere.
- Shane: [shouting] Snidely?
- Howard: He took off with all the gold. All we have is this measly $26,000.
- Barry: We gotta find Whip. He's tricked us.
- Howard: And when we do, we're gonna kill him... reeeeeeally slowly.
- Kenneth: Yeah, but where is he, huh?
- Barry: Now, that's a good question.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [from behind a mask] I heard he was in the Sudan.
- Barry: Where's that?
- Howard: In Africa, stupid.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: He's supposed to be at the Hilton Hotel.
- Howard: The Hilton, eh?
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Mmm.
- Howard: Come on, boys! Let's go get him!
- [all the bad guys rush out]
- Voice of the Announcer: Meanwhile, at an abandoned gold mine, a sinister figure lurks.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: I love to lurk. It's so me.
- [chuckles]
- Nell Fenwick: [referring to the corn festival] Dudley, this is totally authentic!
- Dudley Do-Right: This is Canada, Nell. Things are real up here.
- Dudley Do-Right: You got weapons?
- Standing Room Only: Weapons? Come on. This is basically a dinner theater we're runnin' here.
- Dudley Do-Right: You got fireworks?
- Chief: That we got.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [beat] Oh, hello Dudley!
- Dudley Do-Right: Hello, Whip!
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [sadly] I've lost everything. Even the announcer's gone.
- Voice of the Announcer: No, I'm still here. Someone's got to explain where the cavalry came from.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Yes, I was a mite curious about that myself.
- [Dudley drives up in a motorcycle dressed in black leather]
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Do you really think wearing black will make you a bad guy?
- Dudley Do-Right: I'm wearing black! You just have on navy blue!
- [shows their sleeves to compare]
- Dudley Do-Right: See?
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: HOWARD! Why am I wearing navy blue?
- Howard: I just thought it would look better on you...
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [paints on Howard's face] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [referring to all the out-of-country license plates] California, Georgia,
- [with Hispanic accent]
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Puerto Rico -
- [chuckles]
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: But where are the Canadians?
- Lavar: Canadians like to think things over before they do something. Americans just jump.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: And thank goodness they do. Did you like the way I pronounced "Puerto Rico"?
- Lavar: Yeah.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: I speak a little Spanish.
- Lavar: You're the complete package, Whip.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Shane!
- Shane: Yes, Mr. Whiplash?
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Drinks on the house.
- Shane: Yes, sir.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: No, wait a second. Drinks are 50% off.
- Shane: Right.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: No, wait a second. Double the price of everything!
- [chuckles]
- Shane: Yes, sir.
- Standing Room Only: That's the last of the fireworks. Now what?
- Chief: We'll take to the forest and throw rocks at them.
- Dudley Do-Right: Rocks?
- Chief: What else can we do?
- Shane: General Whiplash, the village is ours.
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: Torch it, Shane. Burn everything.
- Shane: Yes, sir.
- [salutes]
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: No. Wait a minute. That's bad publicity. Have the photographers take pictures of the boys straightening up the place.
- Shane: You got it.
- [runs off]
- Snidely K. 'Whip' Whiplash: [to himself] Learn from history or repeat it.