The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer

Back in 1998, I was present for the taping of an episode of The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer. Thankfully, I'd managed to block it from memory ever since. But something this evening brought it to mind and, unable to remember the name, I found myself entering "abraham lincoln sitcom" into Google.

Kinda wish I'd let that sleeping dog lie.

I have to say, I don't understand the defense of the show. There are those who will tell you that the show was canceled because it was too controversial. Those people are fooling themselves. The problem wasn't that the show was racially insensitive. The problem wasn't that it was irreverent. The problem wasn't that it was juvenile. The problem wasn't that it was raunchy. It was all of these things, but there are plenty of drop dead funny shows that encompass all of the above.

The problem was that it was painfully, painfully, PAINFULLY unfunny.

You know the scene in Swingers when Mikey just can't put the damn phone down, and with every message you bury your head deeper in your hands, your skin crawls and your stomach churns as you watch this poor guy surrender, bit by bit, every last shred of dignity he's ever possessed? That's how I felt for the cast. Desmond Pfeiffer wasn't broad, ironic or self-aware. That set was where broad, ironic and self-aware went to die. It was beyond unfunny. It was negative funny. All the funny things I'd seen in the month preceding and two months following the taping? Completely negated and rendered unfunny by Desmond Pfeiffer. Rehashing the same old tired, overused, unfunny sex jokes in a different setting doesn't make them fresh and amusing. And it doesn't help matters when the show is convinced -- CONVINCED -- that it's absolutely hysterical.

The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer is the annoying, drunken lout at the party who belts out the one about the farmer's daughters that you've heard at least 127 times (screwing up the punchline, no less), but who's convinced his retelling is a work of comic genius because he's smashed and he's wearing a lampshade on his head. It's not funny. It's just hard to watch.

The Secret Diary Of Desmond Pfeiffer was a show that parodied one of America's most enduring icons: President Abraham Lincoln and the people in his administration. And, as such, it disturbed a lot of historians and Civil War buffs that found the concept unseemly. In fact, it was pretty darned funny.

The title character (with the "P" pronounced) was a British manservant in the employ of the 16th President and he would write his observations about what went on behind the scenes at The White House, in his secret diary, giving you a very different spin on what the history books had to say. Desmond was smart, sharp, had a comeback for every comment and did it with a smile and with style, and that all served to remind audiences of the character of Benson, another manservant in the employ of a politician.

Some of the character traits of these historic figures were based on information that was known, but not widely discussed: like General U.S. Grant's propensity for drink, and Mary Todd's mental illnesses. What people probably found most offensive was that Lincoln was portrayed as a both a philanderer and a complete and utter fool, who needed to be instructed by Desmond on every occasion, even begging his assistant for help at times.

The jokes were usually at the expense of the above three characters, as Desmond constantly had to straighten out the situations their personality traits got them into, and save the day, with the help of, or really, in spite of his assistant, Nibblet, a completely inept White House staffer. However, whatever got patched up was always made to look like Lincoln and his company were the true heroes, for posterity's sake. But there was one other major political target for the show's humor...

There were many parallels to the Clinton administration and the troubles that plagued it at the time of the program's broadcast. Lincoln's sexual fetishes made a clear statement about the Executive branch's needs throughout history, and the recurring character of Hillary wandering around the 1990s version of the White House was included as part of an episode's dénouement.

So many took offense at the entire concept of the show that it really had no chance, and the program was pulled off the air after only a handful of episodes. Despite the quick cancellation, I felt the series was in the same league as the brilliant Mel Brooks Robin Hood parody, "When Things Were Rotten," from some 20 years before, another show that viewers and even some critics at the time just didn't seem to get.

This may be the worst TV show ever to make it into a network prime-time slot. It was juvenile, dumb, and just plain not funny. Horny Abe?? A sarcastic black butler??? What were they thinking?????? I honestly think I'd rather sit through a Love Boat marathon than see this wretched refuse again, which is saying quite a lot. I'd love to give it a zero, but you can't--so I'm giving it one star apiece for Chi McBride (Pushing Daisies, Boston Public) and Dann Florek (Law & Order, L.A. Law). They deserved--and got--much better than this. I think this ended the production careers of the creators, and deservedly so. If you really must see it, I think it's on YouTube. But...please don't.

I liked this show but it was cancelled so quickly. I found it to be rather funny and gave a humorous look at a historical period in time. The show seemed clever to me. While I liked it, it really is not much of a surprise it did not lastl. To my knowledge, the last episode to air was the Halloween episode. To bad it did not last.

I only saw one or two episodes of this short-lived series, but based on what I saw, I must wonder if the producers intended an American version of the British series "Black Adder". Certainly there seem to be some parallels, especially with the third Black Adder series, set during the reign of Mad King George. The conniving and scheming Mr. Pfeiffer seems awfully much like Mr. Blackadder, while Pfeiffer's man Nibblet and Blackadder's man Baldric share much in common.

What they did not share, unfortunately, was a deeply embedded sense of wit. The buffoonery surrounding Pfeiffer was played far too broadly to remain funny for very long. The most effective clowns are generally those who do not seem to realize their own clownishness. Dann Florek (much better known for roles like that he played in Law and Order) seems to be playing buffoon to a mirror.