Cold Harvest

I consider this movie being one of the best Gary Daniels' works. The range of his roles rarely goes further then "good guy, saving the World". And "Cold Harvest" I like exactly for this role of Daniels- tough bounty-hunter, not typical for him. Actually, English have a strange gift to perform villains, making them charming(Jason Isaacs, Alan Ricman, etc). Fights are very dynamical and if I'm right the director of fights was Chinese. So it only helped this movie. And do not talk about Dolph Lundgren on this place. Daniels is O'K. And I think this movie is a sort of joke, game about future. Who knows what will happen in future? No one. So let guys to play.Gary Daniels is very energetic.

Well...

This is obviously a low-budget action film. It's too highly derivative, though, to be interesting for any reason unless maybe you're interested in the further adventures of someone involved in making it. The actors weren't just mailing it in, so I give them credit: they did as well as they probably could given the boring script and low budget. Whoever did the sound effects made a humorous decision to add them to virtually every sudden movement in the entire movie, destroying any fleeting illusion of realism which might have tried to slip between the wall-to-wall physical impossibilities of the action scenes. Well, actually, there were some extended "dramatic" scenes, like where Oliver (or was it Roland? I forgot which was which already) watches his dead brother's wife bathing and is so inspired by her beauty that he tells her simply "You have a nice back." Of course, with writing like that, whatever wafts of realism might have tiptoed past the sound effects and the action sequences would have been dropped dead cold in their tracks by a head-shot like that line, in the same fashion as some of the hapless victims of the overeager gore effects team succumbed to their inevitable -- read "predictable" -- deaths.

Just two more examples should suffice to illustrate the quality of the writing. First, the two main characters face off with guns, then both throw away their guns at the same time to "finish this like men" (which is actually what they say when they do it). Uh huh. Real smart, "men". Then they go on to an even sillier final "final showdown". I'll leave a shred of suspense in it for you should you decide to see this turkey and spare you a description of that face-off. But my favorite part was the handy provision of a small array of GARDEN TOOLS (including a pitchfork -- gee, wonder if/how that will play into the action? *yawn*) right outside the villain's OFFICE. In the hallway. Yeah, you know, nothing says professionalism in the evil boss industry like some garden implements close by. Remember, there's no sunshine in this post-apocalyptic world.

Hmmm... bah, thinking and this movie do not mix.

This movie is half western, half kung fu movie. And it takes place in the future! But the results are pretty good. The story moves at a fast pace. Gary Daniels makes a very cool hero in this one! The villan could have been better though. Nice mix of fighting and shootouts. One of Gary Daniels' best movies!

The script for "Cold Harvest" is anything but inspired. We've seen the post-holocaust setting many times before, we've seen the same kind of creeps this movie has in other movies, and the dialogue is unexceptional. (And what does that title mean? It's never explained.) Other faults the movie has includes Gary Daniels. In this movie and in others of his I've seen, he simply can't act.

Still, there is still some pleasure to be found in the movie. Although this was clearly a very low budget movie, it's clear that the production team squeezed every penny out of their limited funds. The photography and lighting is very good. The movie does go by at a fairly brisk pace. And Bryan Genesse and Tony Caprari make amusing and colorful villains. But what's really good are the action sequences. I've seen other movies directed by Isaac Florentine, and I can tell you that he sure knows how to make exciting action sequences, including the ones in this movie. If you're a B movie fan, you'll probably find enough good stuff in this movie to make it worth your time.

Despite popular belief, Cold Harvest is not a "great action movie". I think it's even a stretch to call it a movie. I think it is better classified as a form of cancer. Now I am in no way an expert on Cold Harvest. Seeing as maybe 20-30 minutes into the movie I sort of zoned out. My roommates found me on the floor in a tight little ball shivering. I was supposedly mumbling incoherently and they said my eyes had a look of just deep shame and hurt. Anyways, over time my memory has healed and i vaguely remember parts of this lame post-apocalyptic/kung-fu/sci-fi/western. That right there should be reason enough not to see it. As far as I can tell the creators of this awful movie traveled far and wide looking for the worst possible cast and crew that they could assemble. Here's a possible scenario:

Producer: "Hey, dirty naked homeless guy, we're doing a movie and we're looking for a (enter any movie job here). Are you interested?"

Dirty Naked Homeless Guy: "Can I bring my friend?" (pointing to soiled towel on ground)

Producer: "Sure, We'll need a good (enter other movie job here)."

Well, maybe that's not totally true. I think the movie might have been better had they hired a few naked homeless guys...but they didn't. Anyways, if you choose to ignore my warning and watch this movie, just remember the old saying: Everytime someone watches Cold Harvest, a baby gets punched in the stomach.