Mulim 18 yeogeol

There comes a time in a movie when it stops being a movie. Though not exactly sure when that is, I can tell you it doesn't take long here. This was the last kung fu movie I ever rented, because I couldn't stand the chance of renting another like it again. This movie was so unbelievably bad, I hold it in the special, sado-mas part of my heart, and if I ever gain enemies, I will know exactly how to deal with them. I will strap them to a chair and force them to watch a double bill featuring Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu, and Panther Squad. Then, if they're still breathing, I'll serve them a lethal dose of Prototype x29A. Which movie is worse? I don't know, but I'm not up to watching all three consecutively to decide.

Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu will bore a hole into your skull and live in your mind like a virus, and any attempt to decipher or understand the meaning of this movie will result in a permanent loss of all brain functions. I once dubbed a copy of Bruce Lee's Ways of Kung Fu and Panther Squad onto the same tape for a friend, and I thought I was going to burn my hand off touching the video. Remember this simple piece of advice while watching this movie. Do not induce vomiting.

Scott says: Keep the three movies listed above far apart from each other. If they all come in contact together, they will open the gates of movie hell and swallow all that is decent into it.

BRUCE LEE'S WAYS OF KUNG FU is a cheap and poorly-shot period kung fu film made in South Korea by the looks of it. This was an IFD release so it's typically cheap and cheerful and has Godfrey Ho's name knocking about it somewhere. The star is one Bruce Lei, who actually seems to be Dragon Lee masquerading under a pseudonym.

The plot is as relentlessly uninvolving as a plot can get. The viewer gets to spend time with a ruthless Manchurian warlord who lives in a hidden labyrinth filled with no less than 18 female Amazon fighters who kill off any intruders. This guy is introduced as the "master of the castle of the devil's styles" in an early scene. We get to see some moments in which the female fighters bump off random characters although it's fair to say they're not exactly the greatest fighters (and a far cry from those Amazons in Jackie's ARMOUR OF GOD).

After a while, Dragon Lee's character is introduced into the story. He's on a mission of death to avenge the murder of his father, but it's a rather long-winded mission that takes time out to involve comedy cross-dressing sidekicks and the like. The action, when it finally hits, is entirely unremarkable and features not a single move or style that viewers won't be familiar with already. In fact, BRUCE LEE'S WAYS OF KUNG FU is a slapdash kung fu film that's so poor I started forgetting about it mere minutes after watching.