Hollow Gate

I know it's a long shot but in case you're desperately looking for the most retarded movie ever made…. this is it! Hollow Gate represents EVERYTHING that went wrong with the horror business during the 80's. There's not even a slight attempt to bring depth, character drawing or tension and the whole film is just a series of ineptness. Hollow Gate tells the heart-breaking plot of a young boy whose daddy wasn't capable of loving. Awwww… During a stupid Halloween party, daddy humiliates little Mark Walters and 10 years later he goes berserk on Halloween's eve. Dressed in ridiculous (not necessarily Halloween-related) costumes, he slaughters some of the most stupid teenagers you've ever seen while the local cops are outside his fence, chatting about how deranged he is. Words fail to describe how awful this movie is. I hope everyone involved in this production is still too embarrassed to leave his/her house. Rating 10 out of 10 for being so painfully hilarious. Rating 0 out of 10 for wasting yet another hour and a half of my (not-so) precious life.

I for one thing am glad to not found this movie anywhere else besides Video Update. This 'is' in my opinion the worst movie ever made. The plot is about a young boy almost getting drowned one night by his drunken father, almost is the key-word. And that is about the only time we ever heared about his father doing anything else. Alright, I know people who grew up having beatings every night of their youth lives, and became something other than a homicidal maniac.

Out of 10- 0!

Alright, fine. "Incredible" is a bit of a stretch. Terrible, on the other hand, pretty much tells the entire story, here. In its defense, I have most certainly seen worse. Not a helluva lot worse, mind you, and not too terribly often. Although, Hollow Gate is really, very quite terrible, I didn't find it to be unwatchable, and it an't event that boring. And, at times, this movie even makes a little sense... A little.

Alright, fine. So, this completely random obscurity makes no sense whatsoever. But sometimes that's the appeal. Although, if this one made any less sense, I don't think I could stand it. So, we begin at a Halloween party where an apple-bobbing contest is being held. Mark sucks at it, and his drunk step-dad is about to let him know exactly how much pride he takes in this activity. Berating the poor little fellow, and basically trying to drown him. Fast forward ten Halloweens later, and a traumatized Mark is now working at a gas-station, and a couple pull up, and make it their business to berate this ticking time-bomb just enough to get themselves blown up. I guess Mark got away with it, because now the timeline in set two more Halloweens later, and a chick whom Mark has taken a shining to makes it clear exactly how disgusting she finds him. Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what happens to her. Time for Mark to go away for a while. I guess he eventually gets out, because now, on God knows how many more Halloweens later, the actual story begins. So, now this guy is looking to slaughter a bunch of irritating teenagers, for pretty much no reason. I guess he's gone off the deep end to the point that he no longer needs a reason. Kinda like Michael Myers... uhm, without the mask. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I forget to mention that this was shot on video? Yeah, I know. I was shocked too. Hollow Gate isn't so much like other s.o.v's from the same era, such as Cannibal Campout, or Blood Lake. This one reminds me more of something like Troll 2. If you haven't seen that one, see it, now. Nevermind this one, just see Troll 2. As for Hollow Gate, if you have a thing for the most obscure of 80's s.o.v. schlock, and have an unlimited amount of patience for ineptness, as well as many, many other flaws, then you just might not hate this movie. Actually, come to think of it, I love obscure Horror, and I have plenty of patience for ineptness, yet I still kinda hate Hollow Gate. 4/10

Hollow Gate is the cinematic equivalent of a supermarket meal deal: not terrible, vaguely satisfying, but you'll forget about it by dessert. The story, while sturdy enough to prop up its 90-minute runtime, feels like it's been scrawled on the back of a cocktail napkin. It's a shame because, with a bit more seasoning, this could've been a genuinely tense psychological thriller. Instead, it plays out like Psycho performed by a community theatre group auditioning for Scooby-Doo.

The direction, to its credit, keeps things ticking along nicely. There's a faint heartbeat of tension, but any attempts at atmosphere fizzle out like a faulty smoke machine at a haunted house. And then there's the killer-less Hannibal Lecter, more panto villain. His over-the-top performance is less chilling and more like he's auditioning for a guest spot on The Muppet Show.

That said, it's not all bad. The film is mildly entertaining and doesn't overstay its welcome, making it the perfect choice for a lazy evening when your brain's in power-saving mode. But if you're looking for genuine dread or thrills, you'll find Hollow Gate more hollow than haunting.

This film hits rock bottom. It makes a Troma feature look like a masterpiece by comparsion. What little story there is involves a kid who is nearly drowned by his drunken father as a child. As a result of this single incident he grows up to be a maniac who butchers off a group of teenagers who make the misfortune of stopping by his house. This film skips over simple elements like direction, acting, characterizations, etc. and just features one sleazy violent scene after another.

Unrated; Violence and Profanity.