The Suburbans

I have rarely watched a movie I didn't enjoy at all. This is one of those movies. When I opened up the box, I noticed that the tape was halfway rewound, but now I realize that whoever had rented it before me had the good sense to turn it off halfway through and not even waste time rewinding it. This may be the worst movie I've ever seen. The premise is intriguing and Hewitt's presence attracted my attention, but I soon realized that 80 minutes is too long a time to watch these dull, pathetic characters in a directionless story that falls on its face. Toss this movie out in the road where it may be mercifully run over by a Suburban.

Four guys Danny (Donal Lardner Ward), Rory (Tony Guma), Mitch (Craig Bierko), and Gil (Will Ferrell) are 30something friends who were once a big 80's one-hit band called The Suburbans. When they perform at Gil's wedding to help Mitch with a hot fan, a record company scout (Jennifer Love Hewitt) in the audience gets them a comeback show for their nostalgia showcase.

Donal Lardner Ward wrote/directed/star in this movie. Quite frankly, I don't know how he got so many then and future stars in this one movie. Ben Stiller and his dad try to ham it up as record studio suits. Will Ferrell is channeling an idiot bass player. However Will can't save this. The fact is the band doesn't have the comedic chops. Craig Bierko is fitting for the lead singer jerk. But the two writers Donal Lardner Ward and Tony Guma should not be lead actors. They really need to search for better comedians to do those roles. The writing is broadly unfunny, and the performances are generally flat.

Fans of That Thing You Do will probably want to rent The Suburbans, a pseudo-satire about the comeback of a one-hit-wonder band from the 1980s. While Craig Bierko, Donal Lardner Ward, Tony Guma, and Will Ferrell had hope for their future back in the day, fifteen years later they've traveled down different paths. Will has a successful tech business, Donal is a beach lifeguard and won't commit to his girlfriend Amy Brenneman, Tony has children with Bridgette Wilson but won't marry her, and Craig is still his girl-crazy self. When a music executive, Jennifer Love Hewitt approaches them with the idea for a comeback on television, they decide to give it all a second chance.

All in all, this movie was entertaining, but it's not one I would really recommend or want to watch again. The humor was surprisingly crude at times, and the plot felt a little thin. I loved the comedy Music and Lyrics, which has a similar '80s-comeback band theme, and this one didn't hold a candle to the 2007 film. The brief flashbacks to '80s hairstyles are funny, and the 1999 style personified by Jennifer really take you back in time. When else can you find blue lipstick, glitter eyeshadow underneath the eyes, and twisted, spiky hair? Only in 1999, when it was actually cool to look that way.

DLM Warning: If you suffer from vertigo or dizzy spells, like my mom does, this movie might not be your friend. The interviews feature a handheld shaky camera, and right after the tv promo for the reunion, the camera tilts back and forth as it zooms into the garage, and that will make you sick. In other words, "Don't Look, Mom!"

I admit it, I saw this film only because of Jennifer Love Hewitt. My heart raced when I saw her hike up her skirt to show off her tatoos. Why you ask? because not only did I see a very beautiful body but it was the highlight of a movie that I wished performed better. Perhaps with better writers or actors like Chris Rock, Mike Myers who improv could have breathed some life into this flat film. 2 stars out of five.

When watching this film, it seems to have a big identity crisis throughout. It has all the right components to be a hilarious comedy, but doesn't deliver when it should; often merging into boring drama and romance side plots for long periods of time. After seeing the powerful cast consisting of Ferrell, Hewitt, and Stiller, it's easy to build up high expectations. Here's my analysis of that: Will Ferrell's presence in this film is so insignificant that he shouldn't even have been in the movie at all. He was already pretty big, so I don't get why he was in such a menial role and literally has about 3 light chuckle lines in the whole film.

Stiller has a menial role as well, but his character is funny and one of the higher points of the movie. Jennifer Love Hewitt does a good job with the decent-bad material presented to her, and she gets a lot of screen time. Her character is cute and one of the better aspects of the film.

There are some notably funny elements here and there, but nothing that grabs you as a whole.