The Grand Dame

One of the first things that Patsy Kelly ever did... she's Peggy, some big gangster's moll. Meeting the society ladies for the first time. She is introduced to Lady WItherspoon, and Lord Beaverbottom. Some slapstick humor, but the funniest parts of this short are the names! She tries so hard to be fancy fancy, but she is the gangster's moll. Thank goodness she will go on to bigger and better roles. Can she save the day? It's all over in a couple minutes (thank goodness.) directed by Arthur Hurley. Looks like he was stuck doing all short films. Written by Stanley Rauh. Wrote mostly shorts. It's okay, but fun to see Kelly in such an early role, just as talkies were starting.

This short (and I do mean short) does not rank an 11 simply because of the lamentable fact that it isn't nearly as long as one would care for it to be. It does sparkle during its brief moments with indefatigable Brooklyn charm, and what charm it does not contain can and should only be left to the imagination. It is a pity it was not released as a feature film, and I would have canvassed to have this done. Much to my disappointment and detriment, I have absolutely no idea in the world how I could have pulled something like that off, so I guess I'll just have to make-do with what WAS filmed and just leave it at that.

These Vitaphone Varieties are noteworthy for exhibiting the work of various Vaudeville and Burlesque entertainers of the 1920s, and introducing America to a slew of these talented performers to filmgoers who could not alas afford the trip to New York to view them on the stage. These specialties have luckily been collected on DVD a few years ago for more mass enjoyment.

In consonance with this specific specialty, this is what one DOES see throughout the course of this all-too-perfunctory (yet quirky and even dazzling) show:

-PATSY TAKING A BATH -PATSY SQUIRTS LEMON JUICE INTO A FAUX SOCIETY MATRONS EYE -PATSY USES THE WORD "INDELIBLE" WHEN SHE REALLY MEANS TO USE THE WORD "INFALLIBLE" -PATSY PLACES GUM WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG -PATSY SHOVELS CREAM INTO A CON MAN'S FACE -PATSY DIPS A LADYFINGER INTO A CUP OF TEA

I cannot and will not reveal anything further for fear it would ruin a viewer's good time by giving away any more details, so I will merely recommend this to all Kelly fans for a chance to see her earlier work, and fans of random cinematic curiosities in general. If you love shorts involving anything remotely resembling 1930's Brooklyn, this is the short for you.

It also single-handedly manages to stuff every review of Miss Kelly as some kind of "dumpy-eyed" or "potato-faced" comedienne down the drain where they belong. I have always held reviews like this in disdain (ABSOUTLELY ALL of them), as they should be. Comments as one-dimensional (and yes, even INSULTING) such as those reveal absolutely nothing of this person's abundant gifts nor say anything of how fetching and charismatic she once was, before Hollywood had its way with her. Shame on these reviewers and critics over the years who have never really done her any true justice in print.

Patsy Kelly burst on the scene at 21 loaded with talent and presence. This is amply evidenced by her debut film, in which she is already a star. She demonstrates both her physical comedy abilities, with numerous prat falls and other mishaps, as well as a bit of her talent for delivering sarcastic one-liners. She has a naturalness and sense of timing surprising in one so young and inexperienced.

The short film is packed with laughs from start to finish. Miss Kelly plays a low-life of the worst kind, a gangster moll who has become rich and now has servants, fine clothes and highfalutin ideas.

Her manners, though, remain those of the most uncultured boor. Similar to Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies, who thinks he is now a worldly millionaire playboy, Kelly demonstrates even less sophistication as she tries to enter "legitimate" high society, with hilarious results. She wipes her nose on the back of her hand, drinks coffee from the saucer, and licks off her monocle as she tries to act snooty and impress her hosts.

There is even a plot twist stuffed into these laugh-packed nine minutes. Not to mention a pre-Code scene of Miss Kelly nude in the bathtub. You don't see much, but she has never been more attractive.

The directing is surprisingly good for just a little short. Things move rapidly, the camera angles are interesting, it is well lit, and everything fits into place perfectly with no loose edges or flaws of any kind. The timing and delivery of the lines is of the first caliber from all the actors without exception.

No wonder Patsy Kelly went on to become so popular, with a start like this!

Grand Dame, The (1931)

** (out of 4)

Weak one-reeler has Patsy Kelly playing a rich woman who is constantly laughed at in the press because she doesn't have any class. She's invited to a party where she's going to learn some but it turns out it's just a bunch of con artists trying to take advantage of her. As other reviewers have pointed out, this film pretty much starts and ends without much notion of what it was trying to do. I'm going to guess that the studio just wanted to introduce Kelly, in her film debut, to people but it looks like they would have selected some better material. I was really shocked to see how little actually happens in this film. We meet Kelly, she goes to the party and then it's over. The screenplay really doesn't set up any jokes except for a couple silly ones like Kelly accidentally squirting lemon juice in one of the crook's eye. Those expecting the loud Kelly that you'd see in later years will probably be disappointed because she's pretty low-key here and rather quiet. The film just doesn't have enough laughs to make it worth viewing unless you're a fan of Kelly and want to see where she started.

Gangster's moll Patsy Kelly tries to break into society when she attends a tea run by some English swells.

Miss Kelly, in her first certain movie appearance -- she may have been in a feature a couple of years earlier, but it's unconfirmed -- displays the comic personna she would throughout her career in the 1930s and 1940s: brash and crass. The humor consists of her not noticing how much a fish out of water she is, and how they seem to be mocking her..... but wait for the joke that ends the short.