Duck Patrol

This was a good ITV Sitcom which only lasted one series in 1998.

Starring Richard Wilson as PC Roland 'Prof' Rose, An Elderly constable who has been there, done that and bought the T-Shirt.

The series was set around a River Police station and the gentle, mundane goings on. It was a gentle, old fashioned type of comedy in the same vein as the BBC's long running sitcom 'Last Of The Summer Wine' However, ITV obviously thought that it could capitalise on the fact that 'One Foot In The Grave' was on a 5 year break and by putting Richard Wilson in a Police uniform and having him act almost exactly like Victor Meldrew would bring in viewers who were craving more 'One Foot...' Sadly, it didn't work. It seemed to make the public just want 'One Foot In The Grave' to come back and thus, the series was cancelled.

It is notable for having future Doctor Who star David Tennant as Prof's sidekick the geeky PC Simon 'Darwin' Brown and Samantha Beckinsale as WPC Gillian 'Marilyn' Monroe.

This could have gone on to be one of ITV's great sitcoms if it wasn't for Victor Meldrew! ;-)

It's maybe not surprising this only lasted one series, but it still has things going for it. Richard Wilson more or less reprises his Victor Meldrew and steals every scene he's in with his immaculate comic timing and trademark delivery. The scenery is gorgeous, set on a stretch of the Thames between Sunbury Lock and Hampton Sailing Club, although the name Ravensbeck and the number of northern accents seems to hint it's trying to set itself somewhere less London-centric - in a mythical middle England where the sun always shines, the only traffic is of the boating variety, and the only commerce is to be found in quaint little pubs that aren't mobbed as soon as the weather's fine.

Sue Johnston's character brings a certain Darling Buds of May warmth to the roster of characters, and the brusque but non-HR way in which Samantha Beckinsale's character deals with the casual and specific sexism on the job is rather different from the way it would be handled now.

David Tennant is pretty wasted in the sort of "Ballykissangel hapless male hero in unrequited love with the feisty young colleague" role, and doesn't really get to show the flair he shows in so much other fare, but it's still interesting watching him and Jason Watkins try their best with a fairly thin script.

It's nice not to have a laughter track, but the producers have over- compensated for this with heavy-handed jaunty incidental music, as if they couldn't quite handle the silence. And although having gentle stories where not much happens was never a problem for Last of the Summer Wine, here it's hampered by the stories often having very weak endings. And the Sarge character played by Geoffrey Hutchings was a mistake. He's a Col. Henry Blake type character- nominally in charge but actually always off fishing. But he's far too much of a fool to be tolerated, either by his colleagues or the viewer; no matter how much of a backwater this place is supposed to be (and no pun intended)- such an incompetent would never have lasted such a length of time in this day & age.

But such gripes aside, I enjoyed stumbling across it on Youtube- and watching the likes of Josie Lawrence and Celia Imrie doing their cameos. It was pretty star-studded for only 7 episodes.

Duck Patrol is a gentle old fashioned comedy about the River Police on the Thames. This is NOT the Sweeney on water, more like a relaxing way for the officers to spend 8 hours cruising between places where they can socialise. The star of the show is Richard Wilson as 'Prof' an elderly Constable who has seen it all and done it all. A young Constable played the now famous David Tennant, is 'Darwin' a bit of a nerd, and miles away from his Casonova character. Samantha Beckinsdale, is the female lead as Woman Constable ' Marilyn ' Monroe. The Sergeant should have been retired years ago and the rest of the staff apart from 'Hero' played by Craig Fairbrass, are less than enthusiastic. This is a must for anybody who likes messing about in boats. Only one series was made and there should have been more.

I came for David Tennant and stayed for the understated humor of watching a ragtag bunch of river cops go about their day and generally just exist. There are some truly golden jokes and weirdly heart warming moments set against the backdrop of an idyllic backwater. The characters are funny and engaging, there isn't much plot, there also is no laugh track. Your mileage may vary whether the exchanges between Marilyn and Ollie are an example of the values dissonance of the 90's or just some black humor. I found it a light, pleasant watch that was truly one of the most endearing shows I've ever seen, making me very sad that only seven episodes exist and no more will be ever made. All in all, will watch repeatedly just to hear David Tennant shouting "We saw a maermaid" in his beautiful brogue.

I remember aTV guide of the time trying to big duck patrol up before the first episode. Oddly, the same critiques made a big thing of praising the guy who commissioned it for being visionary. I read it, and found the discussion of the commisioner very odd, indeed.

This series mistook depiction of cameraderie for comedy. There was no comedy.

You probably won't have seen the Japanese psychedelic horror comedy Hausu, if you are reading this; so, I will, instead compare it to the Weetabix. The characters were like the weerabix gang: Brian, Dunk, Bixie, Crunch, and Brains. The characters names were descriptions of their single distinguishing character trait. I wish you were the kind of people who have probably watched Hausu - it's a better analogy.

Like the weetabix gang, you, the viewer, are supposed to watch it, half wishing that you too were part of their gang. I watched it as long as I could stand, wishing the stuff that happens in Hausu would happen to them.

Please ignore the good reviews. Most people who saw any of this godawful travesty take thd view that it isn't worth reviewing. Unfortunately, that just leaves utterly misleading eave reviews.