The Gardener

Great movie with wonderful role played by Malcolm MacDowell. Everhart's good, Grieco - OK. There are some unexpected twists,CGI special effects and unusual camera's angles . It's a little bit like Stephen King's works only...better !

"When her beautiful partner mysteriously disappears, Detective Kelly Jones (Angie Everhart) traces her to the Garden of Eden Nursery. There, she meets the master gardener (Malcolm McDowell) who is elegant, brilliant, and deliciously sinister. Everyone thinks she's crazy to hunt for evil in such a peaceful place, but horticultural horrors await for those brave enough to dig beneath the surface," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis, "in this incredible unearthing of a madman's mind."

If you want to make a case against film preservation, dig up "The Gardener" (re-titled "Garden of Evil" on my DVD). The hammy starring duo can't get their lines to match, and nobody notices. The props are awful. At one point, Mr. McDowell is presented as a teenager, an age group notable for aged faces and bad wigs. Ex-"21 Jump Street" resident Richard Grieco and ex-"Juliet" Olivia Hussey are upstaged by President Clinton's brother Roger and "Dynasty" regular Pamela Bellwood.

** The Gardener (1998) James D.R. Hickox ~ Angie Everhart, Malcolm McDowell, Richard Grieco, Olivia Hussey

The two couldn't be more different, yet they seem to share a similar fate: appearing in bad movies again and again. While McDowell has the best of his films tucked away fairly deep in his filmography, Everhart still is looking for the one feature that will allow her to really shine. Both get offered the wrong kind of parts - for the wrong reasons. "The Gardener" is a classic example of this: there's the mad scientist (McDowell plays that stuff without thinking about it - and it shows) and the abused beauty that brings the villain down in the end is played by - yes, a beauty. How could that be interesting? I know that many would disagree with me but I do believe that Everhart has talent, all she really needs is a solid script and a decent director to bring it out. And would please someone offer McDowell a part in which he's not some freak that makes the Mad Hatter look like Al Gore?

A friend of mine bought this film on DVD because he wanted to see Malcolm McDowell in it. After watching it, and consequently spending several weeks in therapy, he somehow convinced me to do the same.

You have to understand, this film is diabolical on almost every conceivable level. There is simply no redeeming feature to it. The script, premise, acting, direction, sets, costumes, stunts, score and special effects are all excruciatingly insufferable, but it doesn't even stop there.

It is the *only* film I can think of where I can stand up and say "Yes, even the props are awful." In that respect, I am referring to the typical example of a random DEA Officer - little more than an extra - who, for some unknown reason, brandishes a pistol that is so enormous, one would normally expect to find it on the deck of the Bismarck.

In this way, an inconceivable absurdity permeates every facet of this motion picture. The US Government would not be unreasonable to establish a special agency tasked with keeping James D.R. Hickox (director), Joseph Gunn (writer) and Angie Everhart (`actress') away from movie studios from now until the end of time.

Frankly, I would happily welcome a visit from the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, rather than watch this film again. When compared to suffering The Gardener in all its nightmarish glory, passing a dozen kidney stones would be considered a joyous and uplifting experience.

The miscasting is almost fatal (Richard Grieco as a police commissioner??? Whose bright idea was that?), and the storyline is painfully obvious (we are forever waiting for the thickheaded heroine to figure out what is in clear view). Those two factors alone make the movie a waste of time (and a warning to Angie Everhart fanatics: don't come here looking for nudity). Even if you happen to catch this on TV, viewing it will offer you nothing; renting is simply out of the question. (*1/2)