Time Chasers

This is another cinematic failure that would be stealing our time if it weren't for those wonderful, talented people at MST3K. This movie is about a physics professor(yeah right!) who invents a time machine(a plane which flies through really bad computer graphics). He is supposed to go visit other time periods with it, but it seems the past and future look a lot like today except with very slight, cheap modifications. The villain is a CEO who wants to use the machine for evil purposes. The movie makes little hint that he is a evil character from the beginning. He also talks funny. MST made great fun of this movie, and their episode featuring it is one of my favorites.

Whether or not you're a fan of 'Back to the Future', it's hard to argue against it being a good movie; it's a perfect example of how a time-travel movie can work. A torn-up poster for 'Back To The Future' shows up in this movie, representing -- probably unintentionally -- what the makers of 'Tangents' (aka 'Time Chasers') did to the time-travel formula. Then again, the movie was made in 1994, but it looks -- and sounds -- like it was actually shot at least ten years earlier, so maybe they achieved some sort of time-travel after all.

Start with an aggressively unappealing leading man. I mean, what woman doesn't love gangly, whiny, lantern-jawed, butt-chinned, mullet-men with giant Coke-bottle glasses? Well, prepare to tough it out, ladies, cuz that's our hero ("Hey, movie? I wanna see your supervisor, movie; this will NOT stand!").

Second, add a leading lady who -- while not entirely unattractive -- personally embodies many '80s clichés: big hair, too much makeup, two different plaids ("Oh, man! I'm a naked robot and even I know that's a fashion no-no."), shoulder pads, acid-washed mom-jeans, etc.

Throw in a Michael Medved look-alike who wears pink blazers and white pants, a painfully transparent villain who talks like Mortimer Snerd and has an office that looks like a circus-themed library, and evil henchmen who seem to have nothing better to do than direct air traffic ("Oh, so they're the really NICE evil guys!"). That's our cast, folks.

I don't want to spoil the plot, but since I've yet to figure out exactly what the plot IS, I'm not too worried about it. In fact, it would probably be less time-consuming for you to just track down a copy of this movie and watch it yourself. If YOU figure out the plot, please contact me; I'm curious.

I would strongly advise watching this movie with the help of the folks at Mystery Science Theater 3000; I don't think it could stand on its own... beer would probably help, too.

The film, 'Tangents': 3 stars -- they tried.

MST3K's 'Time Chasers' episode: 8 stars -- they succeeded.

One of the funnier MST3K experiments. This was an ambitious film, light years ahead of Manos and Hobgoblins. they simply couldn't afford the talent or special effects for it. In terms of effort they get a 7/10. Almost as funny as Space Mutiny. I give this one a 3/10 because there was a passable plot, and some half-decent acting. The funniest part for me is when the wormy fat guy is in the plane with his evil boss and Crow cracks: "Sir, I'm getting a little worried about lunch, it's almost 12:30" or something like that. This one was fun to watch, even though it is strictly fodder for the folks at Best Brains.

Time Chasers joins various films that have been given the razzing they deserve on MST. A little more competent than most films that are shown, it's still pretty bad. A bike riding scientist invents a time travel device and puts it in his Cessna. Why not a car? Well, he can't drive and I doubt he can get going fast enough on his ten speed. Like the lunkhead he is, he tells an evil corporation (is there any other kind?) about his invention and they take over the project. There's also some kind of lovestory too and our butt chinned hero takes his plaid clashing girlfriend to shopping malls of the future and to the fifties! Pretty soon there's two lunk heads running around and they go back to 1777. Why? I just don't know and I really don't care. The question that still bugs me is, where did that gun come from?

Unlike a lot of movies made today, this one was a labor of love, not a high pressure money making endeavor. Shortcomings aside, any movie could be great-- but shortcomings cannot be set aside. The movie was made, and it does have problems, but it was made-- something a lot of detractors have never done. HWS