Twister's Revenge!

One wonders how Bill Rebane every raised money to make films over and over again, after his first disastrous attempt with "Monster A Go-Go!", a film he could only partly finish before putting it up for sale. It is quite telling that the buyer was Herschel G. Lewis. But I digress... Someone has indeed given money to Bill Rebane for film-making and I am grateful for it. What would the world of cinema be without "Giant Spider Invasion", "Demons of Ludlow", "Invasion from Inner Earth", and this, arguably Rebane's "opus magnum"? Never mind that it was partly ripped off from the "Knightrider" concept. Never mind that the acting, writing, editing, etc., are sub par even for failing students at the worst community college film class in the country. Never mind that the only way an ordinary movie goer could possibly sit through such witless trash is to be drunk or stoned out of their mind. Never mind that the film stands as the ultimate proof that Bill Rebane is, indeed, crazy as an outhouse rat. Just consider how much duller life would be. Then go ahead, pop "Twister's Revenge!" in the DVD player, open the first of several fermented malt beverages, and revel in the experience. Try not to puke too many times....

Maybe this movie wouldn't be written by people who are so mean if some people thought "Hey, maybe it's the only thing a 8-year-old kid with a stomach-ache has to watch when he's stuck at home." I laughed at it even though it made my stomach hurt even more.

I liked it because it was not too hard to figure out and it's funny to see adults dumber than me.

None of the people who saw this movie mentioned the junk yard scenes were probably filmed in a real junk yard!! And the back-ground music was at least as good as the Eagles Greatest Hits.

Hint: the ending involves a tank! So watch it.

"Twister's Revenge" is a redneck's wet dream of a movie, or anyone's who thinks there's no greater pleasure in life than watching giant vehicles roll over things. But the rest of you need not despair, because you can still enjoy this movie by making fun of all the people (or maybe the two or three people) who like this movie for legitimate reasons.

Three dumbasses hatch a plan to steal a talking monster truck, and when their plan fails, they decide instead to kidnap the wife of the truck's owner and hold her for ransom. She spends the rest of the movie tied up in a cave with a stack of dynamite and a coffee maker, while Twister (the truck) and his owner drive all over the countryside knocking down the houses of the three dumbasses. The climactic duel takes place between Twister and a fully functional army tank, which happens to be sitting in a junkyard garage. Along the way, one of the dumbasses falls into a hole filled with outhouse sh*t (which a makes a good metaphor for the entire movie, by the way), and a girl band led by a heifer in blue spandex performs a musical number in a bar where the patrons wear gas masks for some inexplicable reason.

This film is like "Dukes of Hazard" crossed with "Benny Hill," except that to compare it to either of those other shows implies that it's anything other than a grade Z movie. It's quite terrible, but also terribly entertaining.

The actors are all horrible, but one of them, R. Richardson Luka, who plays Bear, the dumbest of the dumbasses, manages to deliver something resembling an appealing performance. He's a good looking guy with a terrific build, and maybe it's just the fact that he doesn't look like he crawled out of a pig trough that makes him appealing, but whatever it is I felt that the movie wasn't quite the same whenever he wasn't on screen. Fortunately, he's on screen almost all of the time.

Grade: D- (I can't give an F to a movie that made me laugh as much as this one did)

Here's another movie courtesy of Bill Rebane, director of such other cinematic gems as Monster-A-Go-Go and Giant Spider Invasion. In the movie Twister's Revenge we have a talking monster truck which takes on three 2nd grade drop-outs. When the 2nd grade drop-outs fail in their plan to take the truck, they decide to take the pretty lady computer programmer as a hostage instead. Endles footage of a giant truck roaming around the countryside is featured, with it occasionally running over other vehicles and smashing through hillbilly homes and outhouses. Toward the end we are treated to a showdown between the truck ("Twister") and a US Army tank loaded with ammo which happens to be parked off-base for some unexplained reason.

Perhaps if you are seven years old then this movie might be entertaining, but otherwise forget it.

One thing is certain; you probably have not seen this film. I'm not saying it is low budget, but Bill Rebane was director, cinematographer, writer, production designer, editor, producer, camera department member; everything but actor. In fact, most of the actors were probably friends and family. That's OK if you are making a drive-in movie.

Three good old boys, who are five beers short of a six pack, are trying to steal a monster truck - a talking monster truck. Why do people fine this exciting? Watching some big truck run over crushed cars is about as thrilling as watching NASCAR - round and round we go. Whee! Anyway, these boys are dumber than dirt. But, they weren't the only colorful characters in this movie. The patrons of a local biker bar reminded me of that bar in Star Wars.

As expected over 75% of the movie was chase scenes: through the town, through the woods, and through the junkyard with a tank! Lots of shotgun blasting and explosions, but no one ever gets hurt.

This had to be a big hit down in Alabama and Mississippi.