Charlie Tweeder: [looks into his jockstrap] The fuck is that?
Charlie Tweeder: [singing] "She broke my heart, so I broke her jaw."
Mox: [after Kilmer left the locker room after choking Moxon] Before this game started, Kilmer said "48 minutes for the next 48 years of your life". I say "fuck that". All right? Fuck that. Let's go out there, and we play the next 24 minutes for the next 24 minutes, and we leave it all out on the field. We have the rest of our lives to be mediocre, but we have the opportunity to play like gods for the next half of football.
Mox: Now, we go out there and we half-ass it because we're scared, all we're left with is an excuse. We're always gonna wonder. But, we go out there and we give it absolutely everything... that's heroic. Let's be heroes!
Miss Davis: Can anyone tell me a common slang term for the male erection?
Student: Boner? Is boner one?
Miss Davis: Yes! Boner is good, boner is very good!
Miss Davis: The male erection? Pitchin' a tent, sportin' a wood, the icicle if formed, the march is on...
Mox: Stiff, stiffie, Mr. Mortis, rigor mortis has set in, flesh rocket, Jack's magic beanstalk, tall Tommy, mushroom on a stick, Mr. Mushroomhead, purple-headed yogurt slinger... and, uh, Pedro.
Billy Bob: [staring at Miss Davis's breasts] Miss Davis, would you go to the prom with me?
Tweeder: Well we're all naked in there and we've got handcuffs and cool shit to play with so take off your clothes and get in the car.
Billy Bob: It's a strip club, man. I'm here to work!
Mox: In America, we have laws. Laws against killing, laws against stealing. And it is just accepted that as a member of American society, you will live by these laws. In West Canaan, Texas, there is another society which has it's own laws. Football is a way of life.
Coach Bud Kilmer: [to the trainer, at halftime in the trainer's room, with Wendell on the table] Give him the shot!
Mox: If you give him that shot, you can find yourself another fucking quarterback.
Coach Bud Kilmer: You about ready to lose that scholarship, boy?
Mox: If it keeps that needle out of his leg? Absolutely.
Charlie Tweeder: [Mooning Mox and Billy Bob through the truck window] Good moonin, boys! Good moonin! I have been up since the crack of dawn and I had to *ass* you a question.
Bud Kilmer: It makes me wonder if you know the different between a sneeze and a wet fart!
Coach Bud Kilmer: The hard work of so many, sacrificed by the disrespect of few.
Charlie Tweeder: [Mox lines up the second string offense in an unusual formation] What the hell kind of offense is that? Kilmer's gonna eat his ass, watch this...
Charlie Tweeder: [a trainer is about to administer a shot to Wendell's knee as the other players walk in on it] Hey coach, I heard a pop. I... you know, I think he's hurt pretty bad.
Coach Bud Kilmer: Get outta here! Y'all wouldn't know anything about it! Dedication, team play!
Lance Harbor: [bursting in on crutches] But I would. Don't do it, Wendell... it's not worth it, man.
Coach Bud Kilmer: [to Wendell] You gonna listen to that from a gimp... who's praying that we lose so he can be the missing link?
Billy Bob: [to Kilmer] That needle goes anywhere near Wendell's leg, I swear to God, on my mother's grave, I will rip your arms off and beat you to death with them!
Coach Bud Kilmer: [shocked] You stay the hell outta this, Billy Bob! This has nothing to do with you!
Mox: This has to do with all of us. We kill ourselves for you. Year round, we play hurt, we play sick, and we spend most of that time scared that we're gonna screw up and you're gonna kick our ass because you
[Kilmer attempts to close the door in Mox's face, but Mox stops it]
Mox: don't really give a fuck about us! All you care about is your next district title.
Charlie Tweeder: Jonathan Moxon, you are under arrest for not being naked with some sophomore chick who wants to bathe you with her tongue. Now take off your goddamn clothes and get in the car.
Coach Bud Kilmer: Never show weakness, the only pain that matters is the pain you inflict.
Sam Moxon: I raised you to be a winner, so dammit boy, win!
Mox: I'm a good boy. I've always been good. What's my upside to being good?
[looks at at box of condoms]
Mox: I mean I'm 18 years old, it's not like I'm married to her. She invited me over. I'm just being polite, right Kyle?
Mox: We can't be afraid to lose. There's no room for fear in this game!
Coach Bud Kilmer: [pulling Moxon aside after practice, talking quietly to him] You disobey me, and I will bury you. I know about your scholarship to Brown. I got your grades under review. Don't think for a minute that I can't fuck with your transcripts, and get this whole deal blown for you.
Charlie Tweeder: [re the stolen police car] They're about as sharp as a box of marbles, but we're all naked in there, and we got handcuffs and cool shit to play with.
Billy Bob: [patching himself up before the big game] And yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no faggots from Bingville. And yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...