Seamless: Kidz Rule

I usually like films that are a bit wild and "different." For example, I LOVE most indie films that I see. I am all for the off-beat and quirky. I saw this movie on the shelves at my local video store and jumped at the chance to go back to my old school days of "ravin' it up." UGH...this movie was so far off point, it was not even remotely funny. The acting was atrocious and the all the clubbers looked like the too-colorful looking characters from a bad Dr. Seuss book. Like I said before, I try and keep an open mind about all movies. But this is one movie that I regret ever getting. I was almost tempted to go back to the video store and demand a refund. Please, if anyone out there is even thinking about renting or watching this, DO NOT...your time and money are WAY too valuable!!!!!

This movie was so badly over-acted by virtually all of the actors that it was a challenge just to sit and watch this whole hour and forty minutes of crap, just to see if anything was going to happen. And it certainly was shamefully promoted with enticements of seeing Shannon Elizabeth as you saw her in American Pie. Even the cover of the DVD box had her name in large letters standing out on the top of the box, with the name of the movie almost hidden in the background. Were the producers also ashamed of this waste of time and money ?? If you see this video on sale for 99 cents, buy a coffee instead, even if you don't drink coffee. This was garbage pure and simple. 1 out of 10 stars, simply for the closing music over the credits.

I would like to consider myself a connoisseur of bad movies. I have witnessed some of the most unbearable atrocities ever put to film. Plan 9 From Outer-space. Red Zone Cuba. Batman and Robin. Surf Nazis Must Die. Sizzle Beach. These movies strike fear into the hearts of men, and cause small children to weep. Seamless is of this caliber. It's truly wonderful in its awful-ness. The acting of the `star' of the film Kentaro Seagal, is on par with Tor Johnson's stirring performance from Plan 9. The soundtrack is as miss-matched as Queen's epic opus from Flash Gordon. The dialog was as easy to follow as a David Lynch movie. There was no flow to the movie with scenes seemingly taken from random movies and placed into an order that made vague sense, with the transition from one to another being as easy to watch as extended footage of the psycho kid from down the street torturing small animals. I find it ironic that this movies is called Seamless. Seamless would indicate flow and continuity. Considering you are made painfully aware each time the camera shifts from one character to the next (or one location to the next) I would hardly call this travesty Seamless. Only two types of people will enjoy this film: those who've eaten lead paint chips as children and those who can appreciate an awful movie for its complete lack of quality. View at your own risk.

"Kidz Rule," or "Seamless" as it was packaged at Video Hits Plus in Kalamazoo, is a horrible movie. The tragedy is that Shannon Elizabeth (of American Pie infamy) is the best actor in the cast. The protagonist, J.B. (Kentaro Seagal) reads lines like that kid behind you in High School who clearly hadn't made it past the 3rd grade reading level before Junior High. Not that he doesn't get everything one of those guys would have wanted in a throw-away love scene with Miss Elizabeth.

However, there is no nudity in this movie, and that really doesn't help the situation. With a movie like this, I'm surprised the director didn't ask for more skin when he realized what he was working with. There's plenty of sexuality without nudity, though - including one anxiety-ridden, stressed-out teenager who ends up trading sex for money.

One more thing I should mention is the character of Elmo, played by Broc Benedict. Truly heartbreaking in his over-acting, Broc is probably the most proficient actor after Shannon Elizabeth. If you think you've seen him before, you may have - he played the younger version of Eric Foreman in flashbacks on "That 70s Show."

I gave this a 2 out of 10. If you and your friends go to the video store and you see this on the shelf, you see Shannon Elizabeth staring at you with those "undress me" eyes, remember this review and put the movie back down. If you're that desperate for her, go watch American Pie again.

i also rented this cuz shannon elizabeth was on the cover, which was an impulse decision i made cuz the film looked stupid anyway. its worse than stupid though, it doesn't make sense, and i fell asleep through it. it says its about some kind of rave scene in LA, which its not. watch a movie like 'Go' or 'Groove' if thats what you're looking for. All the characters were stupid and the drug scene doesn't make sense. The film is really just a nightmare. I don't know who made this or how it got made, and why. What the hell was Shannon Elizabeth doing in this movie anyway? The same year, she made 'American Pie', which catapulted her to some Hollywood success. I'm sure that even Shannon is ashamed of this awful film. 'Seamless' is meaningless. Beware. 0/10