Le Monde perdu

I wouldn't normally watch a film like this, but it was on during the 5th day of the PGA golf tournament, and I had to watch something during the lulls between action. The acting is amateurish, maybe high-school drama level. The special effects are "cheesy". The T-Rex didn't look very real. The story is trite. Other than that, it was a pretty entertaining flick.

I kind of agree with Matthew: "...I would probably buy it if I had the chance, but not because I thought it was a good movie, it would be because of the fact that there were two things I enjoyed: the unpredictability of the story, and how Malone deals with the T-Rex in the ending. " I have never read the original and I should before commenting on any of the movies, but this one was oh so dark, right from the beginning and all the way to the end. It's the only version I know of where everyone dies and the last person is marooned. NOTHING like any of the other versions. Now that's a courageous idea but unfortunately it was very badly executed. And what was Bergin thinking? He was so awesome in Mountains of the Moon.

I knew this film was Canadian before I looked at the box. Stilted acting, really bad cameramen, terrible cut-away shots that just looked amateur, green screen usage that was just pure college-work and ridiculous over-emphasis on the 'savages' that capture the unconvincing female lead which, had I been totally sober, may have caused me to rip out my own eyes.

As it was, I was eating rum & raisin ice cream and so managed not to self-harm, and could only put the shambolic Hammer Horror wannabes that comprised the overly-long and not at all scary 'sacrifice' scene down to the producer and director both being off sick at the time and some gaffer being called in to shoot that scene on his mum's camera, having done a good job of it at his redneck cousin's wedding. Come to think of it, that scene probably WAS his redneck cousin's wedding.

Some of the things that upset me and caused my ulcers to pulse are listed below. I had to stop delineating them after a while because there were just so many, many terrible things about this film that it made me start to cry at my desk and rock to and fro, hugging myself. It's a wonder I managed to finish this review at all.

Fake blood spurting out of a dinosaurs'neck as it flew in the sky Vampire bats chewing off an arm that, once severed, looked like a piece of purple rubber Terrible accents - passing off Inuit as Mongolians while filming in Yellowknife - awful awful casting and dreadful filmography. Unconvincing acting - Favourite Dodgy camera-work Poor Green Screen technology Bad editing The production of this entire film is just bad, bad, bad. The actors were SO one-dimensional that a blank piece of paper would look full of charisma next to them. For example, woman spends 15 minutes squealing about being tied to a scaffold (some people pay for that privilege, lady) and then when she finally gets 'rescued', is asked: 'Are you okay?'. 'Yes, just get me down', she says, sounding like a mother returning from the school run and asking for a cup of tea.

I've seen better budget films done at the London School of Arts and Media by 19-year-olds. I've had more fun watching films of my cat walking round the flat with a Christmas hat on his head, taken on my mobile while drunk.

This is typical - Canadian film-makers trying to do a big budget film on a coca-cola budget.

Had to switch it off after 1/2 an hour which was far too long a time. I will never, ever ever be able to reclaim those lost 30 minutes of my life. Even my Haagen Daaz started to taste stale. Birds started to fall dead from the sky near my flat. The Christmas tree shed all its needled. Flooding happened in Cambodia as a direct result.

In the end, my DVD player started to make a horrible noise after 30 mins and caused the DVD to pixellate, which was the best part of the whole diabolical spectacle.

The movie had the potential to be good. But, after about 20 minutes the viewer should give up. Granted I was not expecting great special effects, but good special effects would have been nice. The effects were BAD, they can't even be classified as special. The make-up, oh-so bad. The storyline BAD, BAD. The blond haired Diva, yea ok she looks this good after living alone for 11 years? The primitive tribes, I think they came from "Gilligan's Island". The costumes - where did the two Divas get those lace up shoes? This movie could have been good, if they never would have made it.

*1/2 out of *****.

Not to be confused with the 1999 TV pilot movie of the same name (a mistake made by many of the reviewers on this site). Although made by the same production company, the 1999 version has a different cast (except for Michael Sinelnikoff, playing an endearing Dr. Summerlee in both versions), takes place in South America, introduces the bikini-clad jungle girl, Veronica, and the female adventurer, Marguerite Krux, sanitizes the violence, has cheaper effects, and lacks an ending (as may be expected in a TV pilot episode). In contrast, this 1998 version is a direct-to-video release that adheres more closely to the spirit of Doyle's novel, contains adult violence and gore, packs considerably more emotional wallop, and has a dynamic climax.

Other than inexplicably transposing the "lost world" discovered by Maple White from South America to Mongolia in the mid-1930s, and adding the character of Amanda (White's daughter--a character roughly parallel to the one created by Bessie Love in the 1925 silent version), this movie is a fairly faithful, albeit gritty and adult, retelling of the boys' adventure story written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in 1912. Despite the introduction of adult character motivation, explicit violence, and a perhaps justifiable alteration of the ending, the majority of the action and dialogue, including a delightful exchange between Challenger and Summerlee that's lifted almost verbatim from Doyle's novel, suggests that the screenwriters were at least somewhat familiar with their source.

Patrick Bergin plays an effective, though whisker-less, Professor Challenger, Julien Casey is believable as the reporter, Ned Blaine, and Michael Sinelnikoff is well cast as Dr. Summerlee. David Nerman makes a surprisingly dastardly John Roxton, Jayne Heitmeyer is fine as a somewhat anachronistic Amanda White, and Gregoriane Minot Payeur is sympathetic as one of the local guides whose family has an unfortunately high mortality rate. The dinosaur scenes, while not quite up to the standards established by Jurassic Park, and not quite as prevalent as one might wish, are generally convincing, exciting, and gruesomely violent.

This movie is available on videotape (though currently at a prohibitive cost), and has been shown on Showtime and Cinemax (the version originally aired on TNT was the 1999 TV pilot). It's the best sound version of Doyle's novel filmed to date, and well worth a look for fans of the genre.

7 out of 10 stars.