Arise! The SubGenius Video

How many videos do you know that warn you of the sensory assault they are about to bombard you with? This is one sign of the intricate, complex, and occasionally incomprehensible media barrage that is ARISE, a.k.a. SubGenius Recruitment Film #16. Using clips edited together in a fashion similar to The Atomic Cafe," you will be entranced and held fast by the fascinating life of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs and the rise of the cult he founded, the Church of the SubGenius. In fact, you may not be able to finish the entire video in one sitting!

Perhaps in some distant future time, archeologists from another world will happen upon the cinder that was once Earth and find a copy of Arise! still in playable condition. And perhaps those alien beings from the future will also have adopted VHS as the home video tape standard over Betamax, just as the Merehums had, and will have a tape deck handy to watch it on. Under those circumstances the extraterrestrial archeologists will come to understand what had happened to planet Earth on July 5, 1998; The Prophecy of J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, the Final Celebration of the Subgenii, The Coming of the Xist Ships, The Whisking Away of The Faithful, The Return to Pick Up Some Forgotten Luggage, The Re-Whisking Away, and finally, The Destruction of Earth and the Merehums.

Or perhaps not. But in any event, YOU can PRETEND to be those alien archeologists, and PRETEND to have found the only playable copy of Arise!, and once more PRETEND to unravel the mysterious demise of Earth Farm One.

By the way, the $9000 copy of Arise! comes with a bucket of complementary hot wings, I think.

P.S. Arise! is not for rent, so forget about making copies. That would be bad and wrong.

A fast paced montage of video clips taken from conspiracy media reveal the true nature of reality, allowing you to escape into the safety of your own delusions by pulling the wool over your own eyes. Revival footage of Subgenius ministers is intercut, helping to guide you along the path of true Slack. Hilarious, brilliant, and scary in its uncovering of the true Conspiracy that threatens all life on this planet. A must see, but those with heart conditions should have a licensed Doktor standing by, just in case.

One of the most watched videos in my nerdy collection, I seriously have not watched this whole thing in one sitting. It's not that it's that long, it's just that there's so much to see and hear that it will blow your mind long before the last few minutes. However, if you find a copy, snatch it up. If it's for rental, then by all means, make yourself a copy. Entirely worth the three dollar rental, the twenty dollar purchase, or the nine hundred dollar something or other, this thing will entertain you for years to come. The Subgenius changed the way I saw the world, and this is the living proof. Buy the book, seriously.

I can truely say, this is the first DVD to ever clear my sinuses just by watching it! Yes, "Arise!" has it all... aliens, armageddon, sex, salvation, yeti-spotting, accubeating, nuclear destruction, anarchomaterialistic sarcastoblasphemy, audio-visual media barrages, how to tell the difference between "you" and "them", and the word of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. AND THAT'S JUST IN THE FIRST 15 MINUTES!

"The world may end tomorrow and YOU MAY DIE!" Can you really afford NOT to be informed and ready for the end-times?

WARNING! Do NOT drive or operate heavy machinery during or immediately after viewing this DVD. Reality perception will be altered. This is a good thing.