Centrespread

Big strapping Sheilas cavort on sun-kissed beaches (and that's not all that get's kissed) in bright red lipstick & nails, body paint and little else in this garrulous Aussie exercise in Orwellian soft porn, eighties style (a scary prospect!) in which even the waitress in the local cafe looks as if she's auditioning for Derek Jarman. It's all played very straight and hard to figure out whether any of it's actually intended to be taken seriously or not; but you keep watching.

...is his best, which doesn't say all that much. It's a mixture of futuristic science fiction woven into a corny love story that probably would have worked, but for the script, which contained so much constant nudity and sex that mainstream actors would have been highly unlikely to accept the roles. Add to that budget constraints - Groom, as producer of this one, would not have had access to the funds he has now (although the Australian Film Corporation gets a plug here) - and what we're left with is an Australian foray into very soft porn that has trouble finding a mainstream audience because of the acting quality. Just who the hell are Kylie Foster and Paul Trahair? A quick search on IMDb tells us that Trahair's only other role was as a young detective in SQUIZZY TAYLOR. Foster is much more travelled: she had character roles in the TV series PRISONER and SKYWAYS, and then found parts in KITTY AND THE BAGMAN, MELVIN and QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER - though how is a mystery, noting her acting "talent" in CENTRESPREAD. Indeed, while CENTRESPREAD could have become an Australian cinematic landmark akin to MAD MAX, the best parts remain the opening and closing themes, the former of which could easily have become a mainstream pop classic. Rating: 5/10

Music is pure porno music, so you know what you are gonna get.

In case you don't, you get real garbage served up on a poorly executed platter of bad directing, bad acting and a really bad story-line.

I tries to be artsy but the people involved in making it have no clue how to do that.

Instead you get a thoroughly boring piece of soft core porn.

It's hard to follow, because there really isnt and coherent plot. And the acting is remedial at best. Maybe even worse than that.

Instead of being titillated by the abundance of female nudity, i was completely bored out of my mind hoping for this to be over and done.

Who thought this movie would be a good idea?

There's precious little to like in this dumb flick. The female lead is a centrefold model who shows no evidence of having been to acting school and thankfully hasn't been heard of since. The male leads plays his camp character as dislikable, pretentious and effete.

There is a vague sci-fi plot supported by some truly ridiculous futuristic camera gear.

As an exploitation flick it doesn't get off the ground because the heroine can't project any erotic heat and simpering innocence won't carry the day. And contrary to expectations she doesn't disrobe much. As a sci-fi yarn it sinks without trace because of the low budget sets and props.

It was made at a time when tax breaks were the main motive for much film financing in Australia. The quality of the product was secondary, as in second rate. Just like here.

Its title sci fi faux softcore ozplotation. This 6 out of 10 star review is the only one needed to read (6 stars might be generous) this reveiw alone makes the movie worth watching and i dont even know what that means .. but solid writing