Les fous du volant

When I was five years old I never missed Wacky Races. Even though I'm now a grown man I still occasionally tape it. I think Dick Dastardly must be credited with introducing the phrase "drat and double drat" into the English language. My mother used to use old Dick as a piece of moral instruction telling me that he showed that people who cheat never win. They keep on doing remakes of cartoons with real actors these days so how about one of Wacky Races with say Rowan Atkinson as Dick Dastardly.

"Wacky Races" was an integral part of my Saturday mornings. It was awesome!!! Then, POOF it was gone, and I never got to see a whif of it for years and years. Later, someone told me it was buried due to complaints about racial stereotypes amongst all those goofy characters. Who was offended by what I have no idea. Once, I remember seeing a commercial for Quisp cereal where you could send in a boxtop and a little money and get a NICE Wacky Races car! I believe I ordered Dick Dastardly's car. Mom can back me up on this, we ordered the car...sent in the boxtop with the right amount of money, and IT NEVER CAME! I'm still mad. Imagine the price I could get for it today! (If I didn't manage to break it, like all my other toys!) I'll have to check the cartoon channels and see if it's on again, so I can retreat to my cozy childhood, cuz this adult crap is making me old!

One of the more influential of the mid-60s Hanna-Barbara cartoons, this fondly remembered pure piece of action showed a dozen racers using tricked up racers that would make James Bond's Q drool - and if you ever want to start a discussion among middle aged cartoon freaks, ask them to name the racers and their vehicles. Number one was the Bouldermobile, driven by Rock and Gravel. It was a rock on wheels, sort of like what Fred Flintstone drove, only a little less sophisticated. As were Rock and Gravel. Number two was the Creepy Coupe, a haunted house on wheels (haunted mobile home?) The Gruesome Twosome drove, but the various supernatural inhabitants of the car did all the work, from additional speed to the occasional dirty trick. Number three was the Convertacar, driven by Professor Pat Pending. A transformer that makes Optimus Prime look like a wannabe, this rolling Swiss army knife could do just about anything but win consistently. Number four was the Crimson Haybailer, driven by the prerequisite Prussian, WWI ace The Red Max. Couldn't have a show based on The Great Race without a German, after all. His vehicle had one of the better names, but one of the poorer vehicles, lacking most of the comic accessories of the others. Number five was the Compact Pussycat, driven by Penelope Pitstop, southern belle and token female. More an automated beauty salon on wheels than a racer, it did not make the jump to the sequel show, The Perils of Penelope Pitstop. Number six was The Army Surplus Special, driven by Sargeant Blast and Private Meekly. It may not have been the fastest, but it carried the most firepower. Number seven is the vehicle which is sure to cause the most geeky argument. The Ant Hill Mob drives a vehicle called "their Bulletproof Bomb" in the opening credits - but which is referred to during one of the episodes as The Roaring Plenty. Whatever the name, it had no special features except for the hole in the floor which allowed the Mob to put their collective feet to good use. This team also would find a second chance at stardom in The Perils of Penelope Pitstop. Number eight, The Arkansas Chugabug, was the pride and joy of hillbilly Luke and his cowardly bear, Blubber. Hard to say what needed the most explanation - how a plank on wheels with a potbellied stove could go 0-60 in 5 seconds, or how Luke managed to steer it. Number nine was the Turbo Terrific, driven by Peter Perfect. Another great name for a car with no real ability except to go to pieces on a regular basis. Number ten was The Buzzwagon, driven by Rufus Ruffcut and his beaver co-pilot, Sawtooth. The car I have always thought of as the Canadian entry, this log cabin with saw-blade wheels must have been hard on the backside, but I imagine the superhumanly strong Rufus could handle it. Certainly he had no problems with traction. Finally, car 00 was The Mean Machine, driven by Dick Dastardly and Muttley. As versatile as the Convertacar and as well armed as the Surplus Special, it also went to pieces far too often, due to its villainous driver's evil plans. Dick and Muttley would get their own show together, but it would be Muttley with his distinctive snicker who would go on to appear again and again in other cartoons.

A Hanna-Barbera classic, i would probably rate this in the top 5 H-B cartoons of all time. Its a half hour show, with about 8 wild looking cars duelling out to the end. Dick Dastardly was H-B's Wile E. Coyote, using many contraptions to try and stop his opponents. Only difference was that Dick's partner, the snikering Muttley, is there to openly laugh at Dick's foul ups. Cartoon stands the test of time, being funny today as much as it was when it first aired. My personal favorite was the Ant Hill Mob.

"Wacky Races" was created in response to the rather violent adventure/superhero cartoons of the previous two seasons, and even upon its premiere, it was blackballed by the watchdog group Action For Children's Television. They claimed that since it was bankrolled by game show producers Merrill Heatter and Bob Quigley ("Hollywood Squares"), it was enticing children to place monetary wagers on the outcome of each of the show's 34 races. (Hogwash. I had the over/under on how many times Dick Dastardly's contraptions backfired on him.)

For all the atypical Hanna-Barbera use of repeat animation and low-budget movement, "Wacky Races" was still an unusual and entertaining cartoon which would beget such shows as "Bailey's Comets," "Laff-A-Lympics" and "Yogi's Space Race." A lot of the humor derived from Dastardly's machinations, although many of the other racers got to shine as well. In the Gold Key comics, Penelope Pitstop would eliminate Peter Perfect and Red Max by conveniently getting them to fight over her. That wasn't used in the show, although it should have. And it's dotted with great lines. When the narrator calls Dastardly "The Dracula of the drag strip," Dastardly counters "I resent that remark!" Narrator: "But do you deny it?" Dastardly: "No, I just resent it!" It's a comedy cartoon that doesn't forget it's a comedy cartoon, something that many cartoon shows of the 70s and 80s forgot.

And a bit of trivia, Dastardly did cross the finish line twice but was disqualified both times. The first time he extended the nose of the Mean Machine ahead of the others (yet in another episode, Rufus Ruffcut physically extended his neck to reach the finish line and the judges gave him the win--go figure). The second time, a chain reaction collision caused Dastardly and Muttley to get bounced into the Arkansas Chuggabug, which was in the lead. Dastardly also set a precedent the following year--being the first (and to anyone's knowledge, only) villain to get his own show, "Dastardly & Muttley In Their Flying Machines.