Beowulf

I liked this movie. At some points I was wondering "What's with the music?" and "Is this with the time period?" stuff like that. Kyra, to me, was an over-feminest, big cleaveged woman, wearing pants. Now, I'm not a historian nor do I actually know enough, but I thought women didn't wear pants in the 6th century. If I am wrong, I stand corrected, but that doesn't sound right to me. Beowulf's leather outfit reminded me of a Keanu Reeves wannabe. Grendel's mother is a Pamela Anderson look~a~like who would make a better porn star than a real actor.

Alright, so it may sound like I hate this movie, but I did like it. I never read Beowulf, but plan on doing it, eventually, so my opinion on this movie is based on seeing it alone.

Overall: 6 1/2 out of 10.

This was my first exposure to Beowulf, so I didn't find my views of the film coloured by the closeness (or lack thereof) of the plot or anything of that sort. Just had to point that out since I find peoples reviews of adaptations are usually heavily based on source material. First thing I want to point out is that the "futuristic setting" barely comes into play. If you're expecting a big sci-fi film, or avoiding the film because of the sci-fi you should know that the only real futuristic elements are a high tech telescope, a castle that doesn't even look like anything, and the pizza cutter of doom wielded by one of the extras. I suppose the soundtrack gives it a sci-fi type feel, since it makes use of a lot of techno. Unfortunately I found the soundtrack quite uneven. Some of it was good and suited to the scene, some of it was so bad I turned on subtitles and muted my TV. Most of the soundtrack just had me thinking "do I know this song or did they just rip off a song I know?" The music wasn't the only uneven thing though, some of the acting in this film was atrocious. Lambert manages to keep his wry charm, Rhona Mitra was quite impressive, and Layla Roberts was good at what little she had to work with. Everyone else ran the spectrum from mediocre (the king... was he a king... I was kinda lost on that) to something that looked like the role was filled by the first hobo they could find (the assistant weapons master). Fight choreography was sadly lacking, so don't expect an awesome action flick. The monsters were kind of lame, so don't count on oohing and aahing at the effects. In truth, this film had the potential to be very great as a bad film but the few descent actors and good bits to the soundtrack raised the bar so it was mostly just bad. Personally, I like Christopher Lambert and I like bad movies, so I liked it... just not as much as I could have with a bit of tweaking.

...the worst version of Beowulf. But the basic feeling is continuous surprising because each scene discovers new aspect of a real bad film. From performances and story, vulgarity and kitsch to the awfull techno music. And, except the crumbs of Highlander and the gymnastic moments of Christopher Lambert, the film gives nothing more. But, unfortunatelly, it real tries.

There are three main films concerning the myth of Beowulf. The best, a wickedly good Robert Zemeckis motion capture version starring Ray Winstone, a lower budget one with Gerard Butler that hovers right around the average mark, and a third one starring Christopher 'Highlander' Lambert, and let me tell you this one defies any classification. It's set in a time that seems like a blend between both past and future, a sword and sorcery realm that's speckled with steam punk technology and very weird production design that looks post modern, yet not. Beowulf, played by the reliably daffy Lambert (an actor of little talent who has grown on me over the years by his craggy presence alone), is a lone warrior with a bleach blond hair dye job and some neato gadgetry in his weapon arsenal. I know, it sounds like I'm making this up. Haven't even gotten to the best part yet, which is the upbeat German techno score that ramps up the Euro feel of the whole thing to soaring heights of absurdity. Despite all that silliness, the film somehow works, and not just as a schlocky write off either. It's resolve lies dutifully in the firmament of its creative aesthetic, and doesn't skip a single odd duck of a beat the whole way. The monster Grendel which Beowulf must face off against resembles something of a cross between the Predator and Killer Croc, a scaly, spiky behemoth that rips through the little villages in the region like a tornado of teeth and claws. It's mother is even weirder: appearing to men in the form of actress Layla Roberts, (who looks suspiciously like a porn star) before morphing into a massive elaborate demon thingy that looks like a final boss from Starfox. Lambert is joined in his fight by sexy warrior Kyra (Rhona Mitra), and led on by King Hrothgar (Oliver Cotton). It's Beowulf like you've never seen before, a Krull esque, beyond the Stars sci-fi rendition that you'll either be in tune with or won't, either love, hate or just be super confused by. It's bonkers, and I love it.

I thought this movie was alright, even though it didn't follow the actual tale of Beowulf. Now I did notice several people commenting about the time period and wondering about clothing and all. This movie is supposed to be set at some future time period ya'll!