Demain ne meurt jamais

You don't review James Bond movies, you evaluate them, rate them according to how well they meet expectations. There are certain things one has come to expect, even demand of a Bond film and each individual effort either delivers or it doesn't. So, here are ten elements that make a Bond film a Bond film and how TOMORROW NEVER DIES rates on a scale of 1 to 10:

Title: TOMORROW NEVER DIES: Poetic pretension aside, the "Tomorrow" in this case is the name of a newspaper. And the film's original title was "Tomorrow Never Lies," a more mundane slogan, but not nearly suitable for a Bond film. 8 points.

Pre-Credit Teaser: Bond interrupts the sale of various illegal weapons and casually stops a nuclear disaster in the bargain. Another elaborate teaser with Bond escaping the bad guys at the last minute, leaving a bunch of explosions in his wake. Nicely done, I suppose, but old hat. 5 points.

Opening Credits: After Daniel Kleinman's debut work on the credits for GOLDENEYE, his graphics here are particularly disappointing. There is almost a generic quality to Kleinman's choice of images, reflecting the worst of Maurice Binder's prototypes. Worse, the disturbing shots of the female body made up of circuits and micro chips is rather creepy re- enforcing the clichéd concept of Bond Girls as mere objects. 2 points.

Theme Song: It may not be the all-time worst Bond theme song, but Sheryl Crowe's "Tomorrow Never Dies," cowritten with Richard Froom, just might be the most sleep-inducing. Perhaps she is trying to imitate the great Shirley Bassey, but Crowe's drowsy rendition is listless and just downright dreary. A second theme song ends the film; k. d. lang's "Surrender" is somewhat better than Crowe's contribution -- but not by much. It's strange, but by this time the producers of the series are picking and choosing from multiple submissions from various noted artists, yet they still end up selecting themes songs that are, at best, mediocre. 2 points.

"Bond, James Bond": As Bond, Pierce Brosnan seems to be trying awfully hard to not crack so much as a smile, thus when he does seem to be enjoying himself it's cause for applause. After the sardonic style he restored to the character in GOLDENEYE, it is disheartening to see him returning to the glum approach that Timothy Dalton took. 4 points.

Bond Babes: Somewhere between being Lois Lane and becoming a Desperate Housewife, Teri Hatcher added "Bond Girl" to her resume. Alas, she brought none of her proved gift for playing spunky heroines with a comic touch to the role; as the villain's depressed ill-fated wife, she may be the most morose Bond Girl of all time. But she is balanced out in glorious style by Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin, a Chinese agent who teams up with 007, both on his mission and on some of the best staged stunts of the series. While sex and sexiness have all but faded from the Bond films, Yeoh personifies the evolution of the Bond Girl to that of a strong and dynamic professional. 10 points.

Bond Villain: Of all the villains James has faced, Elliott Carver just might be the most insipid. Though played by the very talented Jonathan Pryce, the character is a power-mad media mogul who hopes to start World War III, so he can have exclusive rights to cover it with his print and broadcast outlets. That is a lot of effort for such a meager pay back. Though prone to occasional temper tantrums, the owlish Carver is about as threatening as a junior high school principal who is upset about graffiti on the boys room wall. 1 point.

Bond Baddies: Vincent Schiavelli is one of those actors born to play a bad guy. With his sad, droopy Salvadore Dali face, he instantly gave character to any role just by his presence. Here, as assassin Dr. Kaufman, he is rather subdued, but he gives a nice comic twist to the character's dour professionalism. He is assisted by his protégé, Stamper, who unfortunately is played far less memorably by Götz Otto. Stamper is yet another cold, emotionless Ayran killer in the Donald Grant mold and, while he is a formidable opponent in battle, he is a dull character otherwise. 7 points.

Sinister Plot: There are just so many holes in Carver's dastardly plan that even the most far-fetched Bond action stunt is more believable. The idea that a publisher has to create news in order to have something to print is as old as yellow journalism, but there just isn't a whit of common sense in Carver's reckless drive to create a world war that would endanger, not expand his own media empire. Plus, what idiot would place in print stories about his own crimes, even before he committed them. He is just a stupid, stupid man and it is a stupid, stupid plot. 0 points.

Production values: The film's saving grace is the remarkable stunt work featuring Bond and Wai Lin handcuffed together and escaping via motorcycle from the villain's helicopter, through the slums of Saigon. Obviously influenced by the over-the-top stunts work of Asian cinema, it provides quite a kick to an otherwise lackluster film. 8 points.

Bonus Points: I don't know if it is social commentary or just motion picture showmanship, but once again we are treated to the mindless destruction of a poor Third World community. Though expertly done, the chase that runs amok in a crowded, impoverished Saigon neighborhood, terrorizing the poor and destroying their meager homes, all without a second thought, paints a vivid portrait of Super Power arrogance. We'll pretend it is meant as social commentary and add 5 points.

Summary: What this film does best, it does very well. But it's negatives far outweigh its positives. TOMORROW doesn't die; it's already DOA.

Bond-o-meter Rating: 52 points out of 100.

It is more like a remake of the overused formula plot of old Bond movies where a megalomaniac steals and strikes the superpowers from a hideout to create a misunderstanding and start WWIII and become the principal bargainer in the process. It lacked intrigue, suspense, twists, not that many of Bond movies have that, but was far too straightforward, predictable and cliche. I always liked Brosnan , he is one of the better Bonds I felt, hope he had something more play to with in the opportunities he got to play this iconic character. 6/10

Jonathan Pryce is the evil Elliott Carver in this James Bond version with Pierce Brosnan in the role. Dame Judi Dench is M and Geoffrey Palmer (her costar from her British comedy series) is also in the film. Samantha Bond played Ms. Moneypenny. Teri Hatcher and Michelle Yeoh played his love interest. It's the same routine with exotic stunts; a romance; and adventure around the world. A typical James Bond film.

This film isn't quite as good as "Goldeneye", but it still another fun addition to the series.

Pierce Brosnan once again shines as James Bond, and Wai Lin, played by Michelle Yeoh, is quite possibly the toughest Bond girl ever. She does a lot of karate and steals the show as much as Brosnan.

Elliot Carver, played by Jonathan Pryce, is a pretty decent villain. He is nowhere near as intimidating as some of the best Bond villains, but he is certainly passable. His goals were a little more realistic than most Bond villains. His henchmen is just another Red Grant clone.

The story, while not the deepest, has a lot of intriguing elements with Carver writing disasters in his newspaper and making them happen. The media angles makes a lot of sense these days. The locations work, especially Thailand.

This film is up there with "Moonraker" as one of the most relentlessly action-packed entries in the series. We get a spectacular opening sequence, a chase in a parking garage with Bond using his remote-control BMW, a wicked motorcycle chase, and so much more.

This is a very solid if slightly by-the-numbers entry in the series. There is rarely a dull moment, and there is enough action for several movies. Another fun Bond film.

RATING: B

James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) heads to stop a media mogul's plan to induce war between China and the UK in order to obtain exclusive global media coverage.

The Bond films are both hit and miss as well as an acquired taste. And each time there is a new Bond, people readjust and some people just will not move on. Personally, I think Brosnan was a great Bond, and I actually think this is one of the best films in the series, contrary to popular opinion.

Much of the series is either about Soviet issues or post-Soviet issues. This one, however, is about global media dominance. Now 20 years old, it seems more appropriate than ever with its satellites and cell phones. This movie could have been made today with only the most minor of adjustments.