Justicier d'acier

Steel is one of those films where you constantly have to keep telling yourself "this is NOT a TV movie". A cheap, outrageously bad superhero vehicle for the acting... er... talents?... of 7'1 basketball player Shaquille O'Neal.

Commendably, the film does actually have three clear acts, and Steel's emergence, though underplayed, doesn't happen for over forty minutes. In-jokes are a-plenty, as it mentions Batman, Superman, Jerry Maguire ("show me the money!") and three instances of John Irons (O'Neal) having to net basketballs. The final time sees a life-threatening toss of a grenade. A lousy basketball player throughout, Shaq gets to quip "I never make these". Or would you prefer Richard Roundtree as Uncle Joe, who designs Steel's hammer for him? "I did the metalwork," he explains, "I especially like the shaft." Cue lots of double-takes and knowing glances, with Roundtree looking round, hands in the air, proclaiming "what?"

The special effects are reasonable for tv movie land, but, as this is (pinch me, I must be imagining it) a real cinema movie, they're quite cheap. Steel is badly written, contains atrocious dialogue, is poorly acted, shabbily directed and with an overbearing, repetitive musical score. It is, of course, tremendously entertaining.

This movie could have been lifted out of the doldrums with decent dialogue. Shaq was much better this time around (as opposed to "Kazaam", although that's not saying much). Burke's "wisdom" to his gang member is absolutely laughable, and especially don't miss Shaq's awful "cool, just like you" at the beginning.

Steel did some things right; some parts they tried to make funny were genuinely funny, and the plot was pretty interesting. However, the parts where you "laugh with" the scriptwriter are pale in comparision to those where you "laugh at" the scriptwriter.

In summation...you need to see this movie.

This is a B-movie classic. The special effects are awful and the acting is worse, but at least it's not boring. As a cinematic experience, it's below par, but as entertainment it's top notch. It's basically like a B-movie, unintentionally hysterical version of Superman (which makes sense, since apparently Steel is based on a DC comic series which was an offshoot of the Superman Funeral for a friend storyline) , except Steel's only discernible superpowers are: being tall, having a metal suit that makes him walk slowly, and uttering unfunny catch phrases that are so bad you have to bust out laughing. This movie is probably the funniest thing I've seen all year. Of course, it's not intended to be funny most of the time when it is.

Watching Shaq "act" is the highlight of the film. I fell out of my chair laughing every time he said something. Shaq's still a better actor than Hulk Hogan though, not that that's saying much. They should give Shaq more movies. Hulk Hogan made a dozen or more, and they were all awful, why not Shaq?

The special effects look like they were made in the 1980s. Bad miniatures and Superman-esque laser effects look pretty silly in this day and age. This adds to the fun factor of the movie though since you'll probably scream "Dear Lord that laser is the same miniature they used in Godzilla in the 60s!".

The plot to the movie isn't horrible, even though it's pretty thin. Basically Steel is a superhero with a secret identity out to save the world from an evil supervillain. Pretty standard superhero fare.

This movie has earned its place in my heart alongside other bad movie classics like "cool as ice" starring vanilla ice. A must-see for bad movie buffs. Some folks who like superhero films might like it too since it's mildly diverting and quick-paced. Those who relish quality cinematic experiences should avoid.

James Berardinelli gave this 2/4 stars - more than he gave "Trees Lounge." I find that hard to believe. This is one of the worst films I have ever seen in my entire lifetime, and I've seen quite a few.

It's yet another comic-book-adaptation based on a series that was unpopular to begin with. Shaq does his Attack as Steel, a superhero who runs around very slow in a heavy metal suit.

Whereas Spidey and Batman, et al, all have their special powers, Steel really just has a bulletproof metal suit - the "wire shooter" is a rip-off of the device used by Michael Keaton in "Batman." It attaches itself to a building and up, up and away he goes! However, the device moves at an astonishingly slow pace. Why didn't the cops just shoot him instead of standing there for over thirty seconds (yes, I counted) watching him pulled up into the air by a thin thread?

No matter. This movie is awful. Not even Richard Roundtree can save it.

And what's with the wheelchair lady?

Why, Bender, why?

O'Neal is John Henry Irons, a military weapons specialist who's just been discharged and returns home to enjoy civilian life with his close-knit family until one of his corrupt ex-compatriots (Nelson) uses his military training to deal high-tech weaponry on the streets. In order to thwart him and stop the criminal underworld from acquiring a sophisticated arsenal, Irons becomes an unlikely hero. Believe it or not, this actually had the potential to be successful, but it's done in by dumb dialogue, unconvincing special effects, and an abundance of silly Shaq in-jokes. Might've been a better idea to actually develop the story, rather than spotlighting stupid basketball references. *½