Kiss the Sky

Wrenching depiction of the male midlife crisis, in full bloom - completely acted out, with a kiss-off to the proverbial "American Dream." Well-cast with great scenery and direction, this film brings the audience into the internal struggle of two 40-something men trying to figure out what they and women really want out of life and relationships. With hopes and desires crumbling all around them, the American Dream not satisfying them, they accept the notion of process and continuous unsettlement, whether back with their families or off in a Buddhist monastery. The problem is not in what they have or do not have - it is with themselves. Very poignant angst captures the postmodern mindset.

It is no secret that many forty-something men are dissatisfied with their lives. And it is no big new plot story for them to run off from their married lives to pursue some new life of enlightenment and adventure. For those reviewers that panned this movie, that's all they got out of it. And if that's all there were to this movie, they'd be right to pan it.

Jeff and Marty are very close to each other. It would be impossible for either one of them to act without the other, at least when they start out. They have such a bond that when the much younger love interest shows up, they find a way to share her. The three way sex scenes are tastefully done, and Andy (the delicious Sheryl Lee) is clearly seduced by the idea of having two men in a sense of fun.

But they aren't the same guy. This movie is all about how they play off each other. The self-assured Jeff shows just the right amount of vulnerability, and the diffident Marty shows the right amount of insight. These two guys are different parts of a conflicted soul, too complex for a friendly Dutch monk (Terence Stamp) to guide.

A movie for adults.

I accidentally watched this movie around four or five years ago on TV as I spent my time away searching for something to watch on a friends house in the Middle East. I wasn't even focusing much on the plot then or whatsoever though the few naked scenes which I had the luck of seeing first of all the other scenes kept me interested enough so as not to switch channels for a while. I found it not really my type then (because then I was just in my mid thirties?). What interested me more afterward as this movie rolled on was that the language spoken in the background (aside from English) and the scenery seemed to be all too familiar. I'm a Filipino and hey, they were speaking Tagalog and those were places and items from the Philippines..the beaches, the markets, the festivals, the foot-pedaled trikes, passenger jeepneys etc., etc... In particular I was puzzled by their depiction and use of the Taal volcano island on Taal lake which they seemed to call Lake Toba in the film. Well back then, I already had this grand illusion that such place is the most beautiful of all places in the world (and I did travel a lot worldwide). The movie at least jived with my opinion that that place is paradise literally (though of course as the monk has said we create our own paradises or we pursue our paradises in vain?). Anyway these days I searched again for this movie for another value since I turned 40. It really appealed to us mid-lifers- white or Asian perhaps. Enjoy watching- its about you if you are more like my age and male of course. Though of course I don't approve of the threesome. And I love Sheryl Lee, I wonder where she is now.

Jeff (William L. Petersen) and Marty (Gary Cole) are best friends and in a middle age crisis. They spent time remembering their feats in their youths. Jeff is married with Franny (Patricia Charbonneau) and has two daughters. Marty is married with Beth. In their marriages, something is missing or was lost. When they travel to Philippines, they meet Andy (Sheryl Lee), a very different woman, and they both fall in love with her. They have a threesome and decide to leave their families and live together. They are introduced to Kozen (Terence Stamp), a Zen Buddhist monk friend of Andy, and they decide to build a refuge in one isolated beach. After a period together, Jeff misses his family and the relationship of the group deteriorates when Andy falls in love with Jeff. This movie, about uncertainties in the middle age, is very interesting. The story is not corny and I found it pleasant. The character of Jeff, who never finishes anything, always full of doubts, is very human. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): `Paraíso das Ilusões' (`Paradise of the Illusions')

It is too bad this rates only a 5.8 by IMDB users. There is more to this film than the rather low rating. Check out the reviews on this page.

There are some great thought-provoking lines, especially by the Zen Buddhist monk, but also the dialogue between the two men and what happens to their marriages and families. Anyone caught up in the stress of today's modern world (and that is nearly all of us, right?) should watch this movie.

In particular, I recommend that all men watch this. It would be a good film for a men's group or those interested in psychotherapy. You women as well, especially married-career-family women: grab your man and watch and discuss it.

The biggest flaw was that I doubted if two men would REALLY do what they did on that island, with the young blonde and the construction. Too fanciful for me. But the messages in the film WERE reality-based.

The manner that sex was handled was done maturely. It is rated R18 down here in New Zealand, but the sex scenes are mild and not at all pornographic, and the resulting-final ethics are admirable and understandable.

It was refreshing to see a film with unknown actors, that is - without box office mega-stars.

By the way, my wife was half asleep in bed, ill with the 'flu, while I watched this. At first she mumbled that it was a silly B-grade movie, but as it went on she realized that it was actually a worthwhile film with depth.