Honeymoon

Oh what horror...Now don't be fooled into thinking I'm saying that this low brow FRIDAY THE 13TH wannabe is scary, no far from it. I'm talking about the hilariously atrocious acting that I had to sit through for an hour and twenty minutes to write this review. Watch out for Marlo the shopkeeper (Mary Lou Wittman), her excessive and somewhat unconvincing 'down south' accent is worth the rental price alone!

In the pre-credits we're shown a woman - Elaine (Cheryl Black) - getting on with her lover Vic (Bob Wagner). This fact is emphasised by the music that accompanies the scene which, sounds like it would feel more at home in a seventies porno movie. As the randy couple begin to dress down for the occasion, there's a frantic knock on the door. All of a sudden it flies open and in bursts a rather miserable looking chap. We then find out he's Elaine's husband, Frank. He punches Vic, grabs him around the throat and begins to strangle him. Quick thinking Elaine smashes him over the head with a glass bottle (presumably with some super human strength because it knocks him flying!) and helps Vic to his feet. In the commotion a paraffin lamp falls on the floor and before long the cabin's up in flames...with Frank left lying in it. Fast forward a year and Elaine is back on Lover's Island with her new husband...you've got it, Vic! They've just finished rebuilding the cabins after the tragic 'accident' that occurred 12 months earlier completely destroyed them. Their first customers - three flirtatious sorority sisters with their newly wed husbands in toe - arrive, and all seems to be going accordingly. But before long feelings of content switch to those of fear when a severely mutilated corpse is found on the beach. Stranded and without any form of contact with the outside world, the group must pit their wits against the Island's resident psychopath!

HONEYMOON HORROR is the only period slasher I can think of that manages to look at least five years older than it actually is. The whole flick (especially Bob Wagner's haircut) looks suspiciously seventies! Hmmm. All the genre cliches are present and correct, including the lunatic with heavy breath, the comical lard ass sheriff and of course the aforementioned sorority sisters who make perfect victim material for a deranged killer! Director Preston even pulls off one pretty suspenseful scene. Towards the end, Elaine hears someone trying to open her back door while she's in the kitchen of her cabin - unbeknown to her it's the killer. She turns to open it, leaving you thinking will she or wont she! I wont spoil that short moment of tension by telling you the outcome, simply because that's about as good as it gets, sadly the rest of the flick is pretty much of a disappointment. For a start there's the diabolical acting. It's almost comical how the cast calmly drink coffee whilst they're randomly being picked off and dispatched one by one by the maniacal assassin. Its no surprise, that absolutely NONE of these actors went on to do anything worth mentioning since 1981 when this little 'beauty' was unleashed on to the unsuspecting public! And then there's the incredibly inept sheriff and his goofy deputy. The director tries to add a touch of humour here and there by showing us these two buffoons pulling silly shenanigans whilst accompanying every scene with music that would make Benny Hill blush. But instead of generating any sort of amusement he merely creates two annoying characters that I'd rather not see on my TV screen. He also tries to be clever by not letting us see the killer right until the end and giving us a few would be suspects, so we can play whodunit. But even this doesn't work because (and i say this trying my best not to give too much away.)he shows us a whole heap of clues throughout that point straight at the real murderer's identity. So sadly that's another bad move on the director's part.

I'd like to say that HONEYMOON HORROR is a good reminder of a vintage year for slasher movies - 1981. But sadly it's probably one of the better examples of what killed of the genre. Avoid

Honeymoon Horror (1982)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A husband goes out for cigarettes while on his honeymoon but when he returns home he finds the bride with another man. The bride busts her husband over the head with a bottle, a fire breaks out and he is burned to a crisp. Fast-forward a few years and the "bride" is still with the man she was cheating with and she's used the insurance money to build a honeymoon resort. Three love bird couples show up as well as a murderer.

HONEYMOON HORROR is an ultra low-budget slasher that borrows elements from THE BURNING and a few other films. The end result is pretty much what you'd expect. They obviously didn't have the money and in some cases didn't have the talent to pull off a very good picture but at the same time the film does have an interesting look and feel to it so fans of the genre who must see everything it has to offer will find a few nice things here.

The majority of the death scenes aren't the greatest that you'll ever see but again it's obvious they didn't have too much money to do them. MOre times than not we will see the weapon going towards the victim and then there's a cut to the aftermath. The body will be lying on the floor or wherever else with of course plenty of blood flowing. None of the scenes are terrific but at least they tried to give us some of the red stuff.

The performances are pretty much what you'd expect out of a film like this. They range from poor to "good-enough-for-the-genre" but to be fair, not too many of them went onto other projects. I will say that I really liked the look of the film as well as the setting. The plot is overly familiar and I'm sure most people will guess who the killer is. One wishes that there was some more action or a bit more energy but overall I've seen much worse than HONEYMOON HORROR.

This movie looked good when I saw it at the video store, but it was so incredibly cheap and cheesy. A burned lunatic stalks some sort of Honeymoon Island place killing couples with machetes and axes. The gore scenes are so badly shot and the actors/actresses so bad that I couldn't help but laugh. This cheapie is also equipped with some giggly sorority sisters near the beginning of the film, who are hacked up one by one by the killer as disco music plays in the background. Horrible, just horrible!

The plot = 3 young newlywed couples jets off to a secluded lover's paradise, namely Honeymoon Island, unknown to them that the place has a murky past and before long the young couples find themselves in danger from something that lurks in the shadows.

When I saw "Honeymoon Horror" I thought what a complete waste of time, it failed to excite on almost every level. Obviously modelling itself on the ever popular Friday the 13th movies, but doesn't have half the charm of those fun movies. Now, with a title like that I certainly wasn't expecting anything astounding, but I was kind of hoping for a good healthy dollop of prime cheese- and being from 1981 the vintage was just right but it wasn't, the effects were cheap and nasty, the whole thing was just boring, (I mean it took way too long for something good to happen) and when it did happen, well it lacked any kind of impact, the cast were all just boring and seemed uninterested in they're roles.

All in all if you like camp/backwood slashers that are good and fun then stick with movies like (Friday the 13th, The Burning and Sleepaway Camp).

Made in the heydays of the slashers this is a slasher but one that people forgot and it disappeared in obscurity. It still is because if you want to see it you will have to search an old ex-rental NTSC VHS. Is it worth searching, oh yes it does but not for the horror.

The acting is sometimes as wooden as it can get. But that's normal because they were all first time actors, and even last time actors, not one made it further and only Kathy Johnson (tourist) came from a few other flicks but her career stopped with this flick. the worst acting came from Bill Pecchi as the sheriff but he went further as an technician like in Moonwalker (1988) as camera operator.

This flick is a perfect example how bad a flick can be due the low budget. The editing was too slow and it's clear that when they went running outside the cabin the sound was added afterwards. It isn't lipsync at all. But it can get worser. There were so many opportunities for the killer to attack but every time there was something in between so that the killer couldn't attack. If he attacks the editing was done so weird and bad that you misses some important moments of stabbing. Naturally they had to add some nudity which they did with a shower scene. Does I have to say that the killer slashes the nude girl, but just look once she's dead and is discovered by her lover. You can see her breath, her body is moving, go figure that one out!

The last scene were the killer enters the house is funny too. They tried to add some suspense but failed completely. Watch after a killing with an axe the killer watching the victim and her boyfriend just standing there waiting to be attacked. Once everything is solved we go further to a scene with the sheriff and his deputy on a motorboat, it adds nothing to the flick, only stupidity in the story and even the script, listen how he reacts to the CB.

Early eighties, the clothes do add something ridiculous to the viewer too. One guy is as gay as it can be, white socks, a chest with too much hair, and he's wearing a mustach and daisy dukes, but he's as straight as it can be. Men, this is a must see. There are a few bloody moments but from shot 5 you already know who the killer is.

One to add to your collections to classify under weird horrors. I had a few laughs due the cheesy lyrics and the weird editing while the killer goes berserk.

Gore 1/5 Nudity 0,5/5 Effects 1/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 0/5