Cry Wilderness

This movie appears in my nightmares. I wish so badly to go back to the time when I never saw this, but unfortunately I'm stuck with knowing it exists. It made me ask many questions: Who greenlit this monstrosity? What were they high on? Did they owe a favor to someone? Letting this dumpster fire become an actual movie should have resulted in criminal punishment. Jail time at the very least.

Cry Wilderness (1987)

* (out of 4)

Paul (Eric Foster) is a young student who runs away from his school after Bigfoot tells him that his forest ranger father is in trouble. You see, the previous summer Paul and Bigfoot became friends but no one believes the kid. Now the kid is reunited with his father who is tracking down a dangerous tiger but there are bigger issues going on.

CRY WILDERNESS is a pretty darn bad movie but it's thankfully campy and silly enough to where you can get some entertainment out of it. The film comes from director Jay Schlossberg-Cohen whose only other credit was a segment he did for the even more awful NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR. This film here is certainly among the worst Bigfoot movies that you're going to see as everything they were going for just fails.

This was obviously meant to be a heart-warming tale of a boy and his friend ala something like E.T. but this film fails on pretty much all levels. The biggest problem is that there's really no connection between the viewers and the characters. All of the characters are pretty much one-note and even worse is the fact that the film just never builds up the relationships between them. We're supposed to care for this young boy and his father but we don't. There's supposed to be a tender moment between Bigfoot and the boy but it's silly more than anything else.

I will say that the film does offer up some decent performances but that's just about it. There's a lot of footage of various wildlife animals that is probably the most entertaining thing going on. It's really too bad that the film itself wasn't better or at least they could have used Bigfoot in more of the scenes. As it stands, CRY WILDERNESS will appeal to fans of bad movies but that's about it.

This movie was chosen as episode 2 of the reboot of MST3K for a reason. It's not even "so bad it's good", just plain bad.

The story doesn't go anywhere, I've seen better editing from the average 11 year old's YouTube video, the acting is seriously painful to watch, and the whole thing is just completely disjointed. It's like a fever dream from which you just can't wake up from.

The only thing that saved the movie was the MST3K riffing, some of the funniest (and edgiest!) I've heard. Do yourself a favour... if you MUST watch this schlock, watch the MST3K version.

Cry Wilderness is the kind of film that gets made because some writer / director had an idea that nobody else believed in (with good reason). Instead of waiting for a better idea, the script gets filmed on a shoestring budget. The minimal plot gets heavily padded by stock wilderness footage, which makes the constant changes in terrain (forest, scrubland, mountain) and season (snowy winter in one scene, bright greens of summer in the next) obvious to a bright three year old. Then there is the acting, which makes me wonder if the next door neighbor's kid and a few drinking buddies were assembled to round out the minimal cast. Then there is the Bigfoot costume, which looks like somebody took a set of hair clippers to a Chewbacca halloween costume and called it a day. Do not attempt to watch this without the cast of MST3K. Given a choice between watching this film and viewing your second cousin's home movies of a trip they took to Yellowstone back in 1978, pick the latter.

Upfront, I feel I need to say that I had never seen Cry Wilderness until it appeared in one of episodes of new MST3K. Regardless, I will be as objective as possible. I'm not one of those who thinks a movie is necessarily bad for appearing on MST3K. Some of the films on the show are actually very good and enjoyable on their own. Unfortunately, Cry Wilderness isn't one of them.

In short, Cry Wilderness is a mess of a movie. What little plot there is concerns an annoying little boy who receives a warning from Bigfoot that his father is in danger. This thin thread of a plot doesn't really hold the film together, however. The movie consists of a series of unrelated scenes haphazardly put together. The acting ranges from bad to downright atrocious. Continuity is non- existent. Characters go from one location to a completely different location in seconds. The mystical hokum of the old Native American and his band of animals is ridiculously presented. And Bigfoot is a disaster. The costume isn't even complete. On the positive side, there are some nice animal-in- nature type shots, but that's about it. Overall, a lowly 2/10 from me.