The Cool Mikado

This has to be the world's lamest attempt at adapting any pre-existing work. The Cool Mikado is not an updating of the original Mikado's story; it has almost no story at all. It appears to be merely an excuse to get a few British comics some screen time to do their shtick, none of which has anything to do with anything that's been happening in the movie. Tommy Cooper comes off worst in this regard, spewing one-liners that are so unrelated to anything at hand that he sounds completely demented.

The movie shoehorns in a half-dozen songs from the original operetta, with lyrics completely unchanged to match the movie's situations. "We are gentlemen of Japan" is sung by a group of British soldiers milling around the cramped studio set. Ko-Ko is suddenly referred to as "the Executioner" so that they can sing "Behold the lord high executioner" for no apparent reason. Stubby Kaye does sing updated (but irrelevant to the movie) lyrics to "A more humane Mikado", which I suspect he may have provided himself since he is the only one involved in the production that seems to have the slightest inkling of how to make a movie. The most imaginative part of the whole movie is the "Titwillow Twist", and that only appears imaginative because of how dismal the rest of the proceedings are.

(The song most likely to be anticipated by any audience, and easiest to adapt to any production, is "I have a little list", but this is reduced to a throwaway one line joke. Incredible.)

Staging for the musical numbers wouldn't pass muster for a school play. It's all the players can do to just not trip over each other. The script wouldn't make a bit of sense to anyone not stoned out of his mind. And with bizarre situations appearing for no reason (such as a squad of bagpipers showing up for the final number) if you're not stoned out of your mind when you watch this movie, you may wish you were. Maybe that's the actual point of the movie--in its own claustrophobic, amateurish way, it's more psychedelic than most movies of the 60s that tried to be psychedelic.

The mood for this film is set by the credits. They are in a dark red which makes the names of most cast and crew virtually illegible,for which they must be truly grateful.

The film seems to be a vehicle for many variety stars of the era.

Mike and Bernie Winters do their crosstalk,which is rather monotonous.

Frankie Howard enters the proceedings after half an hour. He has a funny wig and tries to do a Rex Harrison with some numbers. He is truly awful.

Tommy Cooper has a lame five minutes.

Lionel Blair dances enthusiastically.

Stubby Kaye is the life and soul of the party,but cannot sing on key.

Michael Winner is responsible for this mess.

'The Cool Mikado' may not be a film for purists but you have to admire the young Michael Winner for having had the sheer nerve to have attempted a screen version of Gilbert & Sullivan's light opera, and you watch it in a state of mounting suspense wondering if he will actually keep it up to the finale (when Dennis Price finally puts in an appearance).

Unlike most of his earlier films whose distinguishing features were their energetic use of locations and breakneck cutting, this time he confined his activities to a small soundstage at Shepperton with a special effects budget so minuscule the results verged on the surreal.

Frankie Howard considered this film the low point of his career, but he always wore that baleful expression. Tommy Cooper looks completely bemused as usual; and it boasts the distinction - if you can call it that - of being the only film to feature both Mike & Bernie Winters together (the former bizarrely obviously dubbed with an American accent) and Lionel Blair performing the Tit Willow Twist to the accompaniment of the John Barry Seven.

Stubby Kaye in the title role shows every sign of enjoying himself, and you probably will do too.

Gilbert and Sullivan's MIKADO is one of those classic works which seem to work almost as well in the most bizarre settings. The original satire on British mores was introduced just as the first ambassadors from the relatively newly "re-opened" island empire were arriving on English shores and the Foreign Office nearly closed it for fear of offending the Emperor's representatives, but when showed the work, the Mikado's representatives thought it hilarious and that it had next to nothing to do with their country and everything to do with the country they were coming to. The work was allowed to go on.

Since then it's been done hundreds of times in settings from the original supposed Japanese to Caribbean Island with an all black cast (save one white colonial office "Poobah" - THE BLACK MIKADO and a personal favorite) and has generally delighted; but some obviously work better than others.

This 1963 Frankie Howerd farce "version" (the popular English comedian - probably best remembered for the equally "special" CARRY ON films' first venture into film musical about the time he was taking on the lead in the Original London Cast of the stage FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM) has only the loosest ties to the sublime original W.S. Gilbert book, but in telling the basic story of the run-away son (Kevin Scott) of the Mikado (here American ex-patriot musical star Stubby Kaye as a 1960's corporate executive) wanting to marry the ward (Jill Mai Meredith) and intended of "the Lord High Executioner" (here a corporate "hatchet man" - Howerd), adapter Maurice Browning and director Michael Winner have hewed closer to the style of Howerd's broad (bordering on camp) comedy than Gilbert's carefully structured satire. The film's credits are perfectly honest in warning that any resemblance to the original is purely accidental. A few may even be reminded (especially given Howerd's connection with the latter show) of the travesty filming the great American musical A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM got itself three years later in 1966.

Giving the story a framing device of the tale being told in flashback among business men on an international flight to New York (as nearly as can be determined, the film was never released over here and only reached these shores on a few copies of a PAL DVD put out in 2009 by "Strike Force Entertainment") helps justify the surreal unreality of the farce both in sets, costumes and the sublime occasional outbreaks of the original G&S score. Some of these numbers work better than others as when WWII tension between allies is exploited for a brigade of American soldiers in the dream-like flashback breaking into the well known "Gentlemen of Japan" chorus - explained as "having been here so long they've 'gone native!'" as opposed to an overture in a (in 1963 very timely) calypso beat or the "Willow Tit Willow" melody used as "The Mikado Twist".

The film is certainly not for Gilbert and Sullivan purists (Katisha with the highly praised left elbow is here Katie Shaw - Jacqueline Jones - with far more broad based charms!) but the bottom line for many American viewers may well be how much they miss the immortal Stubby Kaye who spent too many years away from our shores. Any chance to see him clowning on film is to be grabbed - and the Mikado's entrance song, "My Object All Sublime," whose lyrics are traditionally altered and updated for almost every production, is as sublime a take on the number as I have seen. His all too brief "Flowers That Bloom In The Spring" (outrageously appropriated from Howerd's Koko - but who's complaining) will remind more than a few wonderfully of his wedding ceremony as "Marryin' Sam" in LI'L ABNER! 'Worth a look.

The 2009 DVD release is "fleshed out" with contemporary bonus featurettes GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS and IT'S MAGIC by the same director plus an "Image Gallery" of shots from the main film.

Along with 'The Gentlemen of Titipu', 'The Cool Mikado' has to be the worst treatment of Gilbert and Sullivan there is. It fails as a comedy, it fails as a musical/operetta/opera film and it will make fans shudder in embarrassment at how Gilbert's writing and Sullivan's music is treated.

Like 'The Gentlemen of Titipu', summarising the flaws is enough to fill a novel and finding redeeming qualities is difficult. It doesn't even have the honour of looking good, most of it in every sense, from the cramped sets, the cheap-looking and out of place archive footage and sloppy photography that never knows who or what to focus on, looks very amateurish. Michael Winner has shown competence as a director elsewhere, but you wouldn't think so judging from the lack of direction in the story and the ineptitude of the staging of the musical numbers.

Winner clearly had no idea how to direct 'The Cool Mikado' and although there is much more of Winner's work yet to see any other film of his would have to be really bad to be worse than something as rock bottom as 'The Cool Mikado'.

Gilbert and Sullivan's talents are frankly wasted. Gilbert's witty, clever, layered and often hilarious writing and lyrics are replaced by humour that's lame at best and incomprehensible at worst with a sense of people trying to improvise but without the ability to do it well, Tommy Cooper's material is particularly risible, and situations that often veer on the bizarre.

Sullivan's sublime music (some of his best) is cheapened by inept, calling it unimaginative is being far too kind, and at times far too busy (so that it distracts from what is meant to be going on) direction that makes bad school plays more bearable. "Titwillow" is the only one that comes over as okay but no more than that, the List song is a comic masterpiece reduced to being a throwaway joke. That it's also poorly, sometimes painfully, performed also is a disadvantage, and at the end of the day despite being such good music there was a sense due to how the story was executed that it was irrelevant.

The story isn't much of one, and has no fun or charm, instead going through the motions with an ending that felt thrown in. Following it properly isn't easy either. The dubbing is poor also, with it being all too obvious of the cast lip-synching and doing it poorly, especially Frankie Howerd.

None of the cast work. Tommy Cooper has the worst of the material and mugs embarrassingly, while Frankie Howerd clearly didn't want to be there and didn't have any idea as to what to do with his role. Only Stubby Kaye tries and halfway succeeds, but not enough to properly redeem the film.

In conclusion, the word "cool" couldn't be more inappropriate. Embarrassing is more like it. 1/10 Bethany Cox