Terreur au collège

This film begins at a mental hospital with the staff looking for a patient named "William Graham" (Dick Biel) is apparently wandering around somewhere in the building. He then kills one of the staff members and disappears into the night. The scene then shifts to three years later with a female professor at St Trinian's College named "Janet Phillips" (Donna Hartman) working late one night and, upon hearing a noise, goes to open the classroom door. Suddenly, without any warning, a man with a knife appears and stabs her to death. The scene then shifts once again to approximately 3 months later with a young college professor by the name of "Julie Parker" (Forbes Riley) accepting a teaching position at that very same college. To that effect, although she has a few problems in relation to the college rules and traditions, she quickly adapts and everything seems to be going quite well--at least, until the body count begins to rise. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I didn't initially know what to expect from this film other than the fact that it was an 80's slasher movie. Some of them are good--and some of them are bad. So, when I saw that it was a Troma movie, I knew not to get my hopes up too high. Sure enough, what followed was a film consisting of cheap sets and weak scripts. Likewise, the acting in general could have used some improvement as well. In other words, it was a typical Troma production. Even so, both Forbes Riley and Kathy LaCommare (as "Cathy Hunter) performed reasonably well and that helped to a certain degree. Having said that, however, neither of them were quite able to overcome the obvious low-production values mentioned earlier, and I have rated this movie accordingly. Below average.

A teacher fills in for another teacher who was just brutally murdered and fears she may be next as the killer rampages through the students and staff of a small campus. There might be a commentary on religious repression in here somewhere and Francine Forbes is a very likable heroine and easily the best actor in the movie. The tone is too goofy to ever really find its footing between the slashing and the silliness and then the film has the guts to end on one of the most downbeat notes ever played in slasher history. A lot of interesting parts that work, but the film itself doesn't. Is it a little crazy that I'd still recommend it?

I knew this was going to be a good one (and by that, I mean a worthless piece of trash) when the film began with not one, but TWO, flashback sequences of meaningless characters being murdered. Indeed, the entirety of SPLATTER UNIVERSITY is a strangely paced, horribly edited and utterly stupid slab of slasher garbage that should be featured in your next bad movie night.

Directed by Richard W. Haines, most famous for his co-directing post on CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH (and his demotion to second-unit director of the film after only a week), SPLATTER UNIVERSITY tells the tale of random college students who are introduced and immediately murdered. Meanwhile, a new teacher tries to solve the mystery of who's spilling all this university blood. The VHS cover's cheerleader mysteriously never shows up to class.

The film features many wacky college-kid antics (which are damn near impossible to hear because of sound issues), murders (which are almost all uninspired stabbings), and a mystery that is face-palmingly obvious from very early on. Still, the film never takes itself that seriously and there are quite a few intentional and unintentional laughs to be had. As long as you find rampant misogyny and bloody killings funny (and who doesn't!).

It's only 78 minutes long, and I can safely say I enjoyed most of them. I'm a little surprised at the largely negative reviews here which don't mention how dang fun the whole thing is. Great to pair with FINAL EXAM or THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD for a trashy double feature of dead collegians.

This was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It was so bad, in fact, that it almost was the end of me. I was just barely able to get out of bed the next day. My credit card bills are climbing, my car payment is too high, I have a mortgage that's slowly strangling me, and I now must live with the knowledge that I can never un-see 'Splatter University.' It was almost too much to take. Ultimately, I got out of bed to feed my fish--and I couldn't let anything happen to myself while they were dependent on me to live. God only knows where I'd be right now if I didn't have a fish tank.

This movie takes place over a span of a couple weeks. Yet in every scene, all the characters are wearing the same clothes. If I had to listen to that idiot with the sleeveless blue t-shirt on howl like a wolf one more time, I was going to put my head through the tv.

When I rented it, I was hoping for a college slasher romp, fraught with scantily clad college-aged honeys. None of that here. How about great make-up fx and gallons of blood? Try again. A creepy killer that was good for at least ONE scare? Nope.

I never in a million years would think that a movie with a running time of 79 MINUTES could feel so long. But now that I know, there's no going back. You see, I've graduated from Splatter University, and it weighs on my conscience like a student loan with payments made directly to hell.

Splatter University doesn't have an awful lot going for it. It looks the cheap, the sound is lacking, most of the performances are awful, and the gore effects rarely convince, but there's a certain low budget 80's charm that keeps you tuned in for its fairly short run time.

Francine Forbes makes for an incredibly appealing lead and she's easily the best actor in the film. Thankfully, we spend most of our time with her (although, maybe not enough time). She plays a young teacher who's replacing a teacher at a local college who's just been brutally murdered. Needless to say, the murderer isn't done yet and seems to have an issue with both the teachers and the entire student body of this university.

There's not a lick of suspense or terror in this movie and, as I said earlier, even the death scenes feel a bit uninspired, but Forbes keeps us invested and along for the ride. The finale does manage to surprise due the sheer mean spiritedness of it all, so I've got to give the fimmakers props for that. I certainly didn't see it ending that way and it was a genuine shock.

Splatter University is more of a movie to play in the background than one you really need to pay much attention to. It's saved by charm, Forbes, and a shocking finale.