Honky Tonk Nights

I don't think that ^^ was a spoiler. What we have here is an ensemble of colorful characters bound to a filthy and run-down C&W night club/bar. Basically everyone is trying to make it, as in having sex or to get a whiff of success. There's the struggling blonde ex-stripper trying to impress audience with her singing voice rather than her hot assets. There is a bit of sub-plot about rivaling stunt men and guys cheating on their girlfriends. Between singing on the stage we get a slow-mo brawl and a mechanic screwing a slut. Low budget drama with shades of comedy and action that feels and smells like a poorly done Crown International imitation. Which it is. Kind of enjoyable with a few beers and a soft spot for bad country songs.

It is generally interesting to see what happens when pornographers take a whirl at shooting a mainstream feature. Curiosity value is the only merit of the desultory movie HONKY TONK NIGHTS, helmer Charles De Santos' only attempt at legitimacy.

Playing in the mode of an R-rated drive-in junker, it wastes the talents of several XXX superstars, notably Georgina Spelvin, tiresome as a bar owner trying to save her business, and Serena, looking good but lost in the ensemble as an aspiring singer. The recent success of Jeff Bridges in CRAZY HEART shows the durability of this tiny genre, the best film of which remains Daryl Duke's PAYDAY starring Rip Torn.

Biggest problem here is that Serena doesn't get to go out onto the road (like Rip or Jeff), her gig only coming in the future after the end credits unspool. The nights depicted here occur ONLY at a single honky tonk, the crummy bar owned by Spelvin. Without the adventures and Americana of a road movie, this genre self-destructs, as no-budget auteur De Santos was to discover.

Poorly acted and haphazardly shot, the film revolves around a couple of boring plot lines: the desperate attempts to save Spelvin's bar from the evil clutches of Sam Diamond (played by character actor Jim Haynie), and the non-starter subplot of hero Dan Dupree (poorly played by Dan Carter) trying to win a contest with his souped up car. Film is so cheap and slovenly executed that the car footage, presumably a potential highlight for drive-in fans, hardly shows up, mainly occurring off-screen.

Since Spelvin's character is underwritten to the extent of barely existing, main pull at heart-strings is the plight of famous '60s stripper Carol Doda, here desperately trying to launch a career as a singer. Script, situations and even a self-penned song all depict Doda's real-life plight of changing herself to please others (she was a poster child for misuse of silicone in the '60s to augment her breasts), and the inability to escape one's past (crowd keeps predictably yelling take it off when she tries to sing rather than strip). Her scenes are lachrymose and off-putting, and sadly Doda's singing is poor.

Oddest touch is casting Serena as "Dolly Pop", whereas it is fellow singer Doda who should be named Dolly, in honor of her physiognomy presaging that of Dolly Parton's. Serena starts the film as main character, but gets lost in the shuffle.

Along for the ride is real-life singing legend Ramblin' Jack Elliott as Jim Garvey, a big-name singer who ultimately agrees to take Serena with him as opening act, the big break she's been looking for. How he got roped into a leading role in this porn-inspired stinker is hard to fathom, made the same year he appeared in Bob Dylan's memorable (if misunderstood) magnum opus RENALDO AND CLARA.

Other porn talent on view includes the wonderful Chris Cassidy as Doda's younger sister and Amanda Blake (XXX version, not "Gunsmoke" star), neither of whom get to strut their sexual stuff. In fact the sex is ridiculously tame throughout the film. All technical credits are miserable.