Dirty Western II: Smokin Guns

I think A DIRTY WESTERN is classic porn; same director's belated followup 19 years after is a no-show.

Shot on film instead of video is promising for starters, but they spent more effort on renting authentic looking Western costumes than investing in a script. Film devolves into a tedious, at times embarrassing, all-sex format after token initial story attempts.

A stagecoach filled with beautiful women is attacked by Indians (actually a single Indian in this low-budgeter -the rest described later as "100" are strictly imaginary), killing the driver and man riding shotgun.

Gals arrive in town where sex ensues with motley cowboys, all of whom have shoulder length hair and have as much verisimilitude as the Joe Dallesandro & pals of Warhol's LONESOME COWBOYS or a cowboy shoot by Abercrombie & Fitch.

To kill time, the dialog and non-acting is miserable: at one point a lass goes out to the stage and fetches a picnic basket filled with fried chicken for the hungry cast; later the picnic basket miraculously is filled with steaks. This is a movie where craft service doubles as the props department.

The tag line used by Universal for its films about 80 years ago is recycled at the end: "A good cast is worth repeating", and the end credits kindly identify actors' monikers with their faces (few roles here actually received a character name). The one non-sex character actor, Titus Moody as a stagecoach passenger mysteriously carrying lots of money on his person, is oddly given ZERO lines.

Director Joseph Robertson, who made a number of quality porn films including THE LITTLE FRENCH MAID, seems to have been asleep during this one, as the sex scenes are routine and boring. Toplined Lisa Ann, 17 years later one of the top XXX stars in the world, looks more like Teri Weigel at this early stage of her career. The prettiest cast members are Brittany O'Connell, a redheaded cutie, and porn's lookalike equivalent to Ali Larter, Morgan Phoenix.

No pun intended - apparently this is a sequel, but the original was many years before that ... and since this is a movie that is mostly concentrated on ... let's call it love making (it penetrates that point home ... sorry had to) ... I doubt that you need to watch the first one - I didn't! And I am certain that either no one or maybe one person from the other movie ... is still active by the time this was made.

I like the western setting, but there is not much to .. love. Well at least most women seem like they could be from that era. So no tattoos (or did I miss them? I am quite certain there were none) and almost no big breasts - as in enhanced ... so points for "realism"? You decide ... story wise there is almost nothing here ... some money being robbed I reckon ... anyway, in the end love is in the air ... and everywhere else ...