Hourglass

C Thomas "Ponyboy" Howell starred in this, wrote it, directed it, and who knows what else. The question is why?

Although the movie is not that long (thankfully), it manages to eat up several unprecious minutes on a racquetball game, the outcome of which has no bearing on the plot or character development. (Just as well, because we can't really see how they're doing). Killed a few more minutes watching all four drives on a golf hole. Killed a few more with some psycho martial-arts lesbians beating up Ponyboy.

Plot? You bet. Let's see, kickboxing lesbians plot to take over fashion company and have sex on top of people on life support. Or something like that. Suffice it to say it won't be confused with "The Magnificent Ambersons" any time soon.

In addition to the other obvious problems, the movie also features cameos by "Carrot Top" and Donny Most. Mercifully, Potsie and Danny Bonaduce did not appear, but may be lined up for the sequel. (The movie ends with the promise of further adventures ......... I'm on pins and needles.)

Fashion magnate Michael Jardine (C. Thomas Howell) discovers his wife's dead body. Thus, begins Michael's journey into a nightmare world of darkness and death.

Or, something like that.

We're also shown a nightmare world of the fashions, exercise crazes, and music of the 1990's! A world where a beautiful woman (Sofia Shinas) simply appears in Michael's life, and Ed Begley Jr. Plays a cop.

HOURGLASS is what could be called an erratic erotic thriller. Howell and Shinas do have a certain chemistry, in the same way that jumbo burritos and beer generate a certain chemistry when voraciously indulged in.

The story is disjointed and absurd. It could / should have been a schlock classic like TROLL 2, but its boredom factor is far too high, relegating it to the toilet-raft section. This is very sad. After all, how many movies feature cameos by both Carrot Top AND Don(ny) "Ralph Malph" Most?!

I rest my case...

Hourglass is a great movie! I loved it! C. is a great actor and writer. I hope he never stops writing or acting he's way too good to quit. All you's peeps out there readin' this buy da movie rent it, borrow it whatever just see it you won't regret it. Even if you don't like it's only ones opinion.

Beautiful, smart, dangerous, ruthless, tai-chi practicing Sophia Shinas is pretty much the only bright spot of this dud. For the story to have any chance of being less than absolutely ludicrous, we have to believe that the male lead can clearly see that the right thing to do is run away from this woman, but he is unable to do so because she is simply irresistible. And thanks to Shinas' presence, we believe it. The rest of the movie though....C. Thomas Howell is bland until maybe the last 5 minutes, and the plot couldn't be any more predictable. And don't be deceived by some famous names mentioned on the video box (Kiefer Sutherland, Timothy Bottoms, Lou Diamond Phillips), they all have essentially cameos. (*1/2)

I bought this movie because it offered Kiefer Sutherland as one of the leading cast... he was in it, for about 5 minutes.

Anyway, when I fell out with one of my friends, I gave him the video knowing that he would sit and watch it, wasting 90 minutes of his life. Enough said.