Future War

This movie hurts....it hurts to watch, it hurts to analyze, it hurts thinking about this movie. Think of a cross between a Timecop, Kickboxer, Land of the Lost and there's your movie. Earth is heaven, guy runs away from dinosaur sock puppets, nun hits him with car, captors dressed up in cheap space suits, and plenty of bad acting. Lots of kicks and punches are thrown and Jean Clod Van Dumb loses his shirt more times than a dry cleaner (final scene at the end is hilarious). Very bad sets, a inordinate amount of cardboard boxes, and no plot to be found whatsoever will leave you wondering why this piece of trash was made. The characters are so lame you have no motivation to cheer for anyone, good or bad. Lots of kicks, YAs and super-imposed images to make any viewer checking themselves at the local sanitarium. Also, don't miss the exciting advenutures of Fred Burrows!

this movie deserves to be higher than #5 on the 100 worst movies ever. although words are inadequate to describe how bad this movie is, "wretched," "pitiful," "embarassingly horrible," and "p*** poor" all come to mind.

i can't imagine that the writer and director were serious when they made this. either they must have been joking, or they made this from inside their room in the asylum. actually, that would explain the lack of decent acting and props, too....

anyway, i watched this on MST3K, and even that couldn't get me to finish watching this movie. i got almost to the end, but i feared that if i watched the whole thing, my brain would explode, i would have to gouge out my eyes, or the universe would end... maybe all three.

if you are thinking about watching this movie without the MST3K guys, you should go see a doctor. the kind who sits you on a couch. if you really want to subject yourself to this with the MST3K guys, i'd suggest purchasing some beverages to go along with it. it's the only way you'll get through it.

This was made in 1995 and it looks more like 1965. Very low budget, boring plot, horrible acting, really bad special effects, etc...

I rarely ever see a Sci-Fi film i absolutely think is this bad. I mean this is pure garbage. It has nothing going for it either, as far as a "Cyber" movie this is the very bottom of the lot. There is nothing really futuristic in this, it's quite misleading. If you were expecting a low-budget "Terminator" think again.

Cyborgs and Dinosaurs? Well, the Cyborgs look more like they're wearing tin-foil suits painted black. The Dinosaurs are literally puppets, a blind person wouldn't even be fooled into suspending his disbelief that these are real Dinosaurs.

Does it have anything else going for it? I'm trying really hard to think of something...but there is nothing. No nudity, No gore, No comedy, no "War" (just a few meaningless fights).

I think i would be more entertained by staring at a blank piece of paper for 90 minutes. Junk like this gives good low-budget "B" movies a bad name. This makes Ed Wood movies look good.

Avoid this waste at all costs! Oh the humanity!

My local Wal-Mart has $5 DVD bins. While I worked there, I used to buy some. Sometimes you can find classics, hard to find comedies, and a bunch of action films you've never heard of (but more recently you can get the whole Rambo trilogy). Well, I decided to take risks on buying some of the films. A lot of them weren't that bad, and definitely worth the $5. Then I found "Future War"...it had super cool looking cyborg graphics on the cover...so I bought it. I like schlock films, but this is even beyond schlock. I've seen better dinosuars in silent films, and for 1995, these dinos don't even hold up to them let alone "Jurassic Park" (of which they used raptors...very bad raptors in Future War). The cyborgs are push overs, and I can't even think of any worse looking cyborgs to compare them with! The story is also a bit funky. The woman who finds the escaped slave is an ex-gang member/drug person who's becoming a nun. Teamed up with her old friends and making an alliance between the local gangs (nuns and gang members and druglords don't mix-I'm sorry, I just can't see it) to fight the cyborgs and their raptors (the raptors disintegrate after they die). The cover art looks cooler than anything in the film. If this film was made during the 1960s-1990, the effects could almost be forgiven-but 1995!! This film is negative schlock, schlock wouldn't even touch this film. Troma wouldn't even touch this film! Yet I have a feeling, that if somebody wanted to-they could remake this and turn it into a modern hit. Sure, you'd have to improve nearly everything-but it can be salvaged. If you watch this, then watch T2. You'll laugh that such a film was made 3 years after T2-or fully appreciate T2.

A race of evil cyborgs kidnap humans from Earth's future to use as slaves, and take dinosaurs from the past to use as trackers. One of their slaves, the Runaway, escapes and makes his way to present-day Los Angeles. There he must fend off the cyborgs and their trackers, the police, and the government, befriended by a prostitute-turned-nun who runs a halfway house. Why would ANYONE in a modern time like 1997 make a stinker like THIS!?!?!?!?!? With actors that are as wooden as a cigar store indian, a script that was written by the director's 4-year-old son, a camera that was stolen from a burning pawn shop, poverty-row monster effects that were achieved by holding plush dino toys in front of the screen, and to top it off, a (once successful effects-man) director that thought making this crap would make them famous. ONLY watch the MST3K version!