Codename: Silencer

this movie is bad enough to make Richard Kern reach for an air- sickness bag. The plot involves a ruthless hit-man (Sonny Chiba), who is imprisoned for killing, a seemingly well protected mob-boss; after escaping with the help of his equally ruthless girlfriend (Brigitte Nielsen), he finds out that he was setup, by some F.B.I agents, or something (i don't remember the plot to well, as i spent the next two weeks, trying erase this film from my mind). Aperintlly, the agents where having a hard time catching this particular mob-boss, so their goal was to hire the hit-man to kill him off, and then have the hit- man arrested for his murder, thus successfully covering their tracks; or so they think. Needless to say (but i'm going to say it anyway), both the hit-man, and his girlfriend go on a rampage of revenge. Sounds like a good idea for a "Street Fighter" movie, doesn't it? I'll bet you think this will lead to lots of highly intense, bone-crushing, eye- gouging, groin-ripping head-bashing, Chiba-action, don't you? Well, you would be wrong pal; this is not "The Street Fighter," this is "Body Count," your lucky if you can find, a bit of almost halfway decent camp-value; and who's bright idea was it to have Sonny Chiba loose in the end? Cinema rule no.1 is; CHIBA NEVER LOSSES!!!! He doesn't even lose to anyone worth losing to, the "heros" of this movie are couple of big, dumb Neanderthals, who use a fighting style, that one of them refers to as "boxing," but witch really looks more like "slugging;" they preform this style by swinging their fists wildly at the target, making the strikes as slow, clumsy, and as easy to dodge as possible; which Chiba does, until the very end, when the script told him not to. In all fairness there are some good action sense, but they are too few, and far between. If you are a Sonny Chiba fan, then stick to something more like, 'Shugun's Samurai', or 'The Executioner'. Shelve this one with, 'The Bodygaurd,' and try your best to forget that it exists.

Was not sure when this thing was made when I was watching, I was thinking late 80's but the fact Jan Michael-Vincent looked like crap and seemed out of it should have told me it was later. Dude had so much potential, watch him in Damnation Alley and he was totally charismatic. This film had some good in it as it was all about the kills; however, it really falls apart at the end and becomes to heavy handed on the one side and too goofy on the other. Not that it was winning any awards before that, but if they had stuck with the tone the set at first I could see this one being a solid six or seven score film.

The story has some sort of criminals getting away with a crime at the beginning of the film before being murdered by the completely unrealistic ice bullet from an assassin. Turns out he is greedy though and he is betrayed by whoever hired him and he is caught and sent to prison. He escapes thanks to his tall blond girlfriend, Bridgette Nielsen who still looks pretty good in this one, though she never could act and he is out to get revenge! Revenge on who you ask? Cops! Yes, turns out someone on the force paid him for the hit and it is up to Robert Davi to figure out what is going on before the assassin kills him too!

Robert Davi is good in this, I kind of like him in the investigator roll and Sonny Chibi is good as the assassin. As usual, by this time Jean Michael is totally playing his role looking as uninterested as possible and I have to wonder if they had him in a larger role before seeing how he was and perhaps cutting it down.

So, the film culminates with horrific reason that the cop paid the assassin to kill the guy at the beginning; in fact, it was a bit too horrific for a movie of this type and then the final showdown takes place on a trolley as the assassin who is super trained and could probably have easily pulled a driver from a car instead commandeers a slow moving trolley going straight. The type of scene one might expect in a Naked Gun film. Still, while not good and it certainly could have been better, it was entertaining for what it was.

Who cares about the plot. The only reason to sit through this assembly-line action junk is to see Japanese action star Sonny Chiba throw a very old and sick-looking Jan-Michael Vincent off a building roof and former Stallone girlfriend Brigitte Nielsen shoot a guy wearing a Residents T-shirt. Crater-faced Robert Davi is dull as dirt and Steven Bauer looks real paunchy with a bad haircut to boot. Not much of interest here.

I knew from the cover box at the video store, this was going to be a cheap one,(a sexy woman with a gun in her hand). I waited till it was on TV one night and I'm glad I did. Cheap fight scenes,poor script,and weak directing tried to hold this joke together. The only draw was Bridgette Nielson. I was curious to see how she came along since her marriage with Stallone fizzled. I don't think the Academy is going to be calling anytime soon.

Unless you are a die-hard Brigette Nielson or Sonny Chiba fan don't be in a rush to see this. Robert Davi and Jan Michael Vincent round out the cast in what could have been a much better movie if some more care and effort had been put in to it. Something to have on in the background while you're doing something else.

It's actually worth watching for the cheese. See Sonny Chiba slumming! See a 5'4" shrimpy actress beat-up 6'1" amazon Brigitte Nielsen! See the most exciting 3 mph trolley fight in cinematic history! See Brigitte Nielsen wearing boots, then heels, then boots again, then heels, then tennis shoes (nice job, continuity editor!) in the climactic battle where she gets squashed by the slowest lowering lift in history (remember the steam-roller in the first Austin Powers?)!

See 90 minutes of your life gone, never to return.

Matt