Spitfire

Low-grade Bondian imitation, although the focus is not on the Bond figure (played in a take-the-money-and-run style by the usually dependable Lance Henriksen) but on his daughter, a champion gymnast / martial artist played by the extremely flexible and athletic Kristie Phillips (she's clearly the best thing the film has to offer). It features lots of international locations, but they're so flatly photographed that they're practically indistinguishable from one another. (*1/2)

A very long time ago, I read an interview with actor Lance Henriksen. In it, he talked about working with David Duchovny & Robert Patrick (this was before 2011's 'Good Day for It'). Fast forward to now as I sit down for his second team-up with director Albert Pyun via 'Spitfire'. Then Mr. T-1000 shows up playing an uncredited gunman in the opening. Believe me when I say solving this mystery was way more fun than anything that happened afterwards.

A world class gymnast (Kristie Phillips) unknowingly has secret agents for parents (Henriksen, Debra Jo Fondren) and is thrown into the middle of a globe trotting adventure. The dad she doesn't even know covertly slips her a CD containing the launch codes to Ukrainian missiles which some bad guys desperately want. Caught in the shenanigans is also an alcoholic sports reporter (Tim Thomerson) who lends a hand.

Pyun films are usually cheap, bad, boring and this is another example. 'Spitfire' looks drab while it boasts being shot in multiple places, but isn't filmed well. Lance is wasted. A James Bond-like opening credit sequence the most creative thing here. While a gymnastic competition lends more one note villains and an unintentional laugh or two.

This movie is awfully excellent. It is impossible to believe that it was not made as a spoof of the made-for-TV movie. Every single frame contains the most trite, amateurish and inept writing, filming, and acting I have ever seen. It is absolutely stunning, and one needs to watch it several times to be able to comprehend how many bad things are going on at any given moment.

From the pre-title scene, in which a woman exposes her breasts nonchalantly for possibly the longest and most inappropriate amount of time I've ever witnessed, all the way through the gymnastics, the cheesy tight red-shorted spy who mouths the words of the other actors as they are speaking . . . the costumes, the men in drag who play the Romanian gymnasts, this is but a sampler of what you can see in this incredible picture.

If someone does not release this on DVD and promote it, a priceless artifact of 1990s cinema is in danger of being lost. I had to buy it on ebay as used VHS. PLEASE re-release this movie, it could have a cult following. I am terrified that my VHS version will not last until I die.

The acting in this action movie was minimal, the action perfunctory, but gymnast Kristie Phillips is very easy on the eyes and spends much of the film in a bikini or shorts. Plus she kicks a lot of butt. Combine that with the cheesy dialogue, and it's a harmless way of passing a Sunday afternoon.

This movie which stars a fine Kristie Philips is fine and very entertaining. Especially those scenes concerning gymnastics. The movie has a lot of chases, but not the ordinary ones, these have a comedy look to it and this makes it entertaining to watch and enjoy.

Kristie Philips is extremely fine on screen.