- Michael Cromwell: [showing Mimi how to use the toilet] Before you pee, you lift the seat; after you pee, you put the seat back down. Females in tribe start war over this. Many deaths.
- Mimi-Siku: [after being out on the windows with Michael] Baboon scared?
- Michael Cromwell: Yes, Baboon scared. Baboon not know he could *be* so scared. Baboon's pants a little damp.
- Richard Kempster: [yelling at the airport] Oh, God! I'm dead! I've lost my house! Where will my children live?
- Michael Cromwell: I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
- Richard Kempster: I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
- [Richard, Michael and Mimi exit Jovanovic's office]
- Michael Cromwell: Richard, are you out of your mind? Now we're laundering money for the Russian mafia?
- Richard Kempster: Yes, we are, and we'll iron it for them too.
- [Michael and Richard are aguing about being a parent, while Richard tries to get Karen out of her room]
- Richard Kempster: Oh, what? Are you suddenly Dr Spock here? You've been a father for three days. And you're giving me lessons? Well, that's good.
- Michael Cromwell: You sound like an idiot.
- Richard Kempster: I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: His name is Mimi-Siku.
- Michael Cromwell: His name is what?
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: Mimi-Siku.
- Michael Cromwell: Mimi-Siku.
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: Roughly translated it means 'cat piss'.
- Michael Cromwell: He picked the name 'cat piss'?
- Dr. Patricia Cromwell: He was six years-old at the time! It's a territorial thing.
- Mimi-Siku: [pointing to toucan in flight] A hoko!
- Michael Cromwell: Hoko. Hoko, bird. Bird that can't sing: Hoko Ono.
- [after Michael and Mimi depart from a taxi cab]
- Michael Cromwell: We're meeting this guy at a fish stall?
- Richard Kempster: No, no. He is ABOVE a fish stall.
- Michael Cromwell: Much better!
- Michael Cromwell: [sees Lipo Lipo for the first time]
- Michael Cromwell: Oh my God. She left me for Gilligan's Island.
- Michael Cromwell: Do you mean to tell me that you are walking around New York City with A MILLION DOLLARS IN A SUITCASE?
- Mimi-Siku: [Initiates Karen into his tribe] Choose a name.
- Karen Kempster: Choose for me.
- Mimi-Siku: [thinks for a moment] Ukume.
- Karen Kempster: What?
- Mimi-Siku: U-Ku-May.
- Karen Kempster: What does it mean?
- Mimi-Siku: It means, "sound of rain on river water."
- Karen Kempster: "Ukume." It's pretty.
- [kisses him]
- Richard Kempster: Come out, honey, or Andrew is going to smoke you out.
- Andrew Kempster: Cool!
- Richard Kempster: [whispering] I was kidding!
- Andrew Kempster: What kind of dumb name is Mimi Siku?
- Jan Kempster: Don't be rude. He probably thinks Andrew is a dumb name.
- Andrew Kempster: So do I.
- Karen Kempster: I think Mimi Siku is a nice name.
- Andrew Kempster: You would.
- Mimi-Siku: [after Mimi-Siku suggests they eat Coco the cat] Cat's job feed people.
- Michael Cromwell: No, not here. Here, cat's job is to sleep, lick crotch.
- Alexei Jovanovic: [picking a finger to cut off of Richard Kempster] Eeny... Meeny...
- [arrives at middle finger]
- Alexei Jovanovic: Meiny - no, need that one for traffic... mo.
- Alexei Jovanovic: You make a fool of Jovanovic.
- Richard Kempster: No.
- Alexei Jovanovic: In front of my comrades and my community. You waste my time, you try to cheat me!
- [Jovanovic takes out a knife]
- Alexei Jovanovic: Now, you must pay! Sit still, coward! Now, I teach you never,
- [grabs Richard's right arm]
- Alexei Jovanovic: NEVER to make fool of Jovanovic again!
- Richard Kempster: What are you doing?
- Mimi-Siku: Feed Matica.
- Richard Kempster: What's "Matica"?
- [sees the tarantula in the basket]
- Richard Kempster: *louder-than-average-screaming*
- Mimi-Siku: In Lipo Lipo, we eat with hands.
- Michael Cromwell: In New York, New York, we eat with forks.
- Michael Cromwell: [offered bat bladder in Lipo Lipo] Bat bladder? Holy kaopectate; I don't think so.
- Andrew Kempster: [to his Mom, who's eating Mimi's homemade fish] Mom, Tarzan is eating Daddy's fish.
- Jan Kempster: Daddy's fish?
- Mimi-Siku: If you scream, Matika attack. If you calm, Matika nice. But Kukuve always mean.
- Michael Cromwell: Who's Kukuve?
- [Mimi-Siku points to the local alligator in the water; Michael runs out of the water in a panic]
- Michael Cromwell: This place is a nightmare!
- [after the blow dart hits the Coco the cat by accident as it falls from the table]
- Michael Cromwell: [low voice] Oh, no...
- Richard Kempster: [after discovering his fish have been eaten by Mimi, and Karen and Mimi sleeping together on his hammock outside in his backyard] Jan!