Avis Metacritic

Enjoyable, if slight.

Two If by Sea should have been titled "Two at Sea." It's adrift. Stars Sandra Bullock and Denis Leary have no chemistry together, and a perfectly good story is wasted on a really bad script.

Only the sheer force of Sandra Bullock's apparently ingenuous charm keeps this sodden romantic comedy afloat.

The saddest element of Two if by Sea is watching Bullock get dragged down in the drivel.

How bad could it be? Not exactly awful. But not funny, sexy or romantic either, which doesn't leave anything for this inert and oddly confused movie to do.

DENIS LEARY may be a funny guy when he's standing on stage spraying invective at a live audience, but as a movie star he has a lot to learn.

Two if by Sea has a drab, dreary tone that's due as much to the unenthusiastic performances as to the bland direction. If anyone was having fun making this film, it doesn't come across. Star Wars' gold droid C3P0 had more humanity than all of Two if by Sea's characters combined. Because I never cared about Frank or Roz, the "feel good" ending left me cold. And, to think, I wasted over an hour and a half in a theater with this movie when I could have been outside shoveling snow.

The dialogue has the crispness of aging lettuce, and the situations rely on coincidence, disbelief and a singular disregard for character.

Not bad in the aggressive, ambitious, over-the-top way that “Showgirls” epitomized. “Two If by Sea” is more like a zero, an inert lump of a movie with so little going on that fidgety viewers can sneak out for a hot dog or some popcorn and return without fear of having missed anything significant.

If you had never encountered Bullock’s patented brand of appealingly unglamorous, warm-eyed gal before this dispiriting production, you might think the star of Speed and The Net was nothing more than a Marisa Tomei knockoff.