La reine des vampires

Blood, breasts, vampires and Chris Sarandon. How can you go wrong?

"Bordello of Blood," the second "Tales From The Crypt" feature film, supplies the viewer with ample amounts of all of the above, leaving room for little else. What it lacks in story, it more than makes up for in its cheap thrills, and as far as midnight guilty pleasures go, this one is about as good as it gets.

The story revolves around a good-girl (Erika Eleniak) whose delinquent brother (Corey Feldman) goes missing. Upon hiring a wise-cracking private detective, it is revealed that a local morgue is housing a brothel run by a gang of beautiful but deadly vampires. Armed with super-soakers full of holy water and with the help of a guitar-slinging reverend (Chris Sarandon), the two set out to put the joint out of business once and for all.

Dennis Miller is essentially playing himself, but keeps the humor pumping through the film's ridiculous premise. Chris Sarandon, likewise, is in top form as the genre hero he truly is. As mentioned before, there's plenty of bare-flesh and red-stuff to go around, and if that sort of thing is your bag, you'll have a blast with "Bordello of Blood." Take it for the cheap thrill ride it is.

The dwarf Vincent Prather (Phil Fondacaro) leads an expedition to the Tierra del Fuego following an ancient map. He arrives at a cave where there is a coffin instead of a treasure. He opens a box with four pieces of a heart and revives the mother of all vampires Lilith (Angie Everhart) that kills his employees. Vincent uses a key artifact with blood to control and protect himself from Lilith.

The punk Caleb Verdoux (Corey Feldman) has an argument with his sister Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak ) and leaves their house to go to a bar to meet a friend. They learn that there is an amazing brothel at 325 Beaumont, a funeral home where they should ask for the Cunningham Wake. They are received by the mortician McCutcheon (Aubrey Morris) and soon they go to the brothel. However Lilith runs the place and the girls are vampires. Caleb's friend is killed by Lilith that that rips his heart out of his chest and then Caleb is attacked by her.

Katherine goes to the precinct to report that her brother is missing but the police officer does not give much attention to her. The private investigator Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) overhears her conversation and offers his services to Katherine. The snoopy Rafe tracks Caleb's path and he discovers that the brothel seems to be a lair of vampires. But Katherine, who works with Reverend Current (Chris Sarandon) that has a business connection with Lilith, does not believe in his word. Now Rafe is seeking evidences to prove to Katherine that he is telling the truth.

"Bordello of Blood" is an underrated gore comedy of vampires. The plot is funny, with beautiful and hot female vampires, and also with a great unexpected conclusion. The comedy is a funny parody of horror and crime genres with the sexy Angie Everhart and Erika Eleniak. But Dennis Miller steals the movie in the role of a sleazy but efficient private eye. Lilith's tongue reaching the heart of her victims is hilarious; however the funniest scene is when Rafe teams up with Reverend Current and they use squirt guns with holy water to defeat the female vampires, exploding them. When the viewer expects a happy ending, with the good guy and the good girl together, there is an unforeseen conclusion. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "O Bordel de Sangue" ("The Brothel of Blood")

Note: On 06 November2020, I saw this film again.

Dennis Miller tries to stop a group of female bi-sexual vampires (led by the ultra-erotic Angie Everhart) who pose as prostitutes at a funeral home that acts as a front for a supposed prostitution ring. By the way, I am completely serious. "Bordello of Blood" is a crazed mess that is so hilarious because of its stupidity that it nearly becomes a deceptive winner. This is the second film of the mid-1990s from "The Tales From the Crypt" HBO series (the equally under-achieving "Demon Knight" was released in 1995). I personally like this picture a little more because it does not take itself too seriously and almost works better as a parody. However the film never rises from its very odd premise as its tone is unclear and the immensely funny situations are sometimes over-shadowed by very graphic violence and constant sexual situations. Arguably Miller's finest performance (go figure that one too) and the steamy vampires are not quite enough to keep "Bordello of Blood" from needing a shot for its STDs (Seriously Tedious Dilemmas). 2 stars out of 5.

Ok, I am a female, so I really got annoyed by all the nudity in it of women... but, besides that, I think people are being too hard on this movie... If you rent a Tales From The Crypt movie, don't expect something very good... but I was a little dissapointed when I saw this, because I think Demon Knight is about one of the best horrors made, and I was surprised that their second film was far different than Demon Knight... This one, Bordello Of Blood, was more funny than anything (quite funny humor I must admit at some points in the movie) with gore, that's all it was, funny and bloody, I was shocked that this movie really didn't have a real plot to it (none that I realized anyway) except obviously, there was vampires, and they wanted them dead... Did I miss something? In Demon Knight, there was a strong plot, great acting, (Especially, Billy Zane...) And funny, gory, exciting, etc., but this was just... pretty plain. If you are expecting a good vampire movie out of this, go watch something else... may I recommend John Carpenter's Vampires? A more serious, believable vampire movie =), but hey, COME ON... this movie isn't THAT bad... is it? The whole idea of it was dumb, and I think made for men, and that isn't fair to us female fans of Tales From The Crypt... am I missing something? Well, maybe the "boss" the cryptkeeper IS a guy, I guess he has say-so about what is put in the movies...

I don't have much of an opinion on this flick. Because what's there to analyze? Gratuitous violence. Gratuitous gore. Gross-out effects strictly for shock value. Gratuitous nudity and close-ups of big breasts. What we have here is a feminist's nightmare. What we also have is an absolute blast!!!

I'm sure women won't enjoy this as much and will probably b*tch about the overdose of female nudity, but for all you guys who just don't give a damn and just want to kick back and have a good time: You will love this movie!! This is like a mix of Wes Craven and Howard Stern. A supreme guilty pleasure!

I enjoy deep, artistically brilliant films like "American Beauty" and "Magnolia," but there's no reason I can't enjoy a campy, shallow, sleazy horror flick like this. I don't ONLY enjoy these types of flicks, but I can enjoy it as long as it's done in a fun, tongue-in-cheek, unpretentious manner. I just want to get that straight. OK, I'll go on. :)

Dennis Miller provides great comic relief in his lead role. Those who are fans of his schtick should look forward to this movie. The horror sequences, though sometimes cheesy, are great fun to watch. There's a spectacular sequence at the end with excellent usage of the song "Ballroom Blitz." There are other great classics like "All Right Now" and "Jailbreak." That's why I bought the soundtrack. It's awesome!

So this movie fits the "guy flick" stereotype like a glove. If you're not in the mood for excessive violence, gore and female nudity--don't watch this movie! Don't say I didn't warn you.

My score: 7 (out of 10)