Snowboard Academy

Shepphird's Snowboard Academy pays homage to early Stanley Kubrick films, such as Killer's Kiss, Paths of Glory and Ski Patrol. This time out, the stellar cast includes Joe Flaherty, Corey Haim, and Jim Varney (showing his range by NOT playing Ernest in this film). The sexual undertones are rampant, from Haim's coy galnces at anything in a skirt to Varney's poem, "I once knew a woman from Russia, whose butt was so big it could crush ya." Haim is refreshing to see here, fresh from whatever eighties movie he made before this one, playing the rebellious teen so convincingly, we almost believe he's apathetic. I don't think Alec Guinness was in this one, but if he had been asked, he undoubtedly would have turned it down.

"Snowboard Academy", allegedly a comedy, is not funny. I don't mean, not "ha-ha" funny; I don't mean, not funny to certain sensibilities; I just mean plain, flat-out, empirically not funny. Jokes fall flatter than week-old cola. Actors soldier onward mindlessly -- I would call their performances workmanlike, but that would be insulting to workmen. We're talking a major step down from the Ernest flicks here. Even the snowboard stunts are lame and repetitive. Don't expect to see progressive technical riding here; just look for backflip after backflip. This movie is an insult to the intelligence of all who see it.

Even my kids thought it was trash. This movie stinks. I rented it from Blockbuster as it was the only snowboarder movie (fiction) I could find. But my snowboarding son is watching and I can tell he is not impressed. The acting is bad (I mean Jim Varney is the Draw?) and the storyline weak. Stay away from this movie unless you like to smirk and groan and sleep. You could maybe get the snowboarding extreme sports videos otherwise. Don't waster your time with this movie. Stay Away! Stay Away! I need to have 10 lines of text. ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Is that enough? No - I need to add more. Blah! Blah? Blah. Blah!! Blah?? Blah....

What is this movie even about? I seriously don't get how this can be a feature film. It's just a bunch of people in a ski resort doing, well, the kind of things skiers do. Sure there is some kind of plot about snowboards not being allowed on the ski hill, but seriously, this came out in 1996, by then, snowboarders were in every resort I ever went to. The main plot line concerns a non-issue and the sub plots don't amount to anything either. I just dot understand, who thought this could be a movie?

There are some attempts at comedy but that falls short too as well as most of the acting, the dialog and the characters. It's like a home movie from someones sub par ski vacation. Why anyone except for the makers would want to see that is a mystery to me.

Snowboard Academy is a decidedly bad, uninspired "comedy" (there was once a time when that word was reserved for movies that were actually funny). The sole bright spot here is the underrated (yes, that's right, think about it for a moment) Jim Varney, who tries hard, though it is hardly enough to even begin to save this film. I don't know how this movie could have been released so widely, as it's little more than a *barely* dressed up B movie, chock full of has been stars. This was Haim's last widely released film, thankfully, as his career started well then dropped dramatically after The Lost Boys. Can't say I've heard of the female lead (Brigitte somebody) before, and with a performance like this, I'm sure this'll be the last time I see her. Thought I might as well point out the editing, which is actually half decent, if only the footage was good enough to match it.

Pass on this one folks, there's (read carefully) nothing to see here