- Leon Martin: [looking at people sunbathing on the beach] Take a look at those idiots out there workin' on their melanomas.
- Policeman: Joseph 'Happy' Cartello? You want to file assault charges?
- Jim Rockford: You're damn right. Assault and battery, public endangerment, illegal parking, grinnig hideously in public. You make the list, I'll sign it.
- Babs Honeywell: So I'll sign the complaint, too, I'm a witness.
- Jim Rockford: No you won't; don't need you on the complaint, I'm plenty.
- Nurse Marylou: Might leave a little scare, but it's mostly in a wrinkle, so it shouldn't show too much.
- [attending to the cut on Rockford's face, in the hospital]
- Jim Rockford: My modeling agent is going to be crazed.
- Police Capt. Doug Chapman: I mean, if you so much as miss just one section, I'm gonna come down on you like a concrete wall. then I'm gonna remove you from this class for failure to perform.
- Jim Rockford: I've had that complaint before, but never from a guy.
- Jim Rockford: Use my computer. and use it here. I know my computer, Angel; you try to swap it for some piece of junk, I'll come after you with something worse than a German dog.
- [paying Angel to write a paper for him]
- Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: What's worse than a German dog?
- Jim Rockford: A German pistol. Now get started.
- Jim Rockford: In the old days I just offered to deck a guy like that, but I'm not healing as fast as I used to.